To be or might be

This is yet another question that's been bugging me (occassionally) for the past few years.

I've noticed for quite a while now that I seem to navigate myself with a back-up plan to fall back on at all time. Well,... at least most of the time.
I'm not sure when this habit started, but it's definitely been going on since I was much younger.

There's always this statement going on in my head:
If this doesn't work out, I'll go and do that instead.
If I don't get accepted here, I'll still have that school to go to.
If I can't find a job in this field, I'll try to go for that field.
If I can't stay here, then I'll go there instead.

Maybe it's due to my mom's influence on me. I guess one can say that I was fully trained in worst case scenarios by her. Among other things, to be prepared for the worst seems to be one of the critical points she's instilled on me since a young age.

But now I wonder if having all these back-up plans is actually a distraction in my effort to achieve whatever goals I might have. I wonder if my ex-boss was correct when she told me that I had the persistence that some people didn't. You see, I know some people who are very adamant about what they want. It's always a case of "to be or not to be" and not "to be or might be" for them.
I think this helps them to be very persistent and more consistent in what they do.

I must say, it's a really tough habit to change though. I don't think I'll be able to get a good night's sleep without any plan-B.

Can't wait till December...

I feel bad.
I wish I could spend more time with my gramps...
but with all the classes, the projects, the assignments from "my boss", the errands I have to run for my "real boss", and the training sessions, I really have very little time to spare.

To make things worse, I've always been a nite owl.
I have a clearer mind at night, thus I'm more efficient and effective working during night time.
My gramps, on the other hand, can barely stay up past 8.30 pm.
By the time, I get up in the morning, they've left with my aunt to her shop.
I'll probably see them for about an hour or two nowadays. And that's only when I don't have anything going on in the evening.

I'm really afraid I'm turning into the cousin who I resent the most for his lack of attention for our gramps. It's a long story, but in short I feel that he's not fulfiling his duty as the only "official" grandson, while enjoying all the benefits my gramps provide for him.

I keep telling myself that things will be better once I'm done with school in December. That I will be able to spend more time with my family, especially my parents and my gramps.... oh and also the two trouble-makers back home, aka. my niece and nephew. I really, really hope I'm not lying to myself.

I can't wait till December.

Getting to know the devil

Just came back from a totally chick-flick session with HB at Bugis earlier tonight.
We went to see the Devil wears Prada, as both of us had been really looking forward to catch it.
And I'm totally smitten by the movie!!

I love everything about it. I love it. I love it. I love it!I LOVE IT!
I loved Meryl Streep's performance. It took me a while to finally remember that she's Meryl Streep and not Cruella De Vil and now I think it will be another few years before I can see her not as Miranda Priestly.

I really like how the character Andy Sachs doesn't believe in quitting despite all the pressures that she gets. And, of course.....the outfits!!!!!!!!!!
Anne Hathaway looks so cute, sweet, gorgeous and cool at the same time that I think both HB and I were almost hypnotized (Bravo, Pat Field!)

After the movie, HB and I were laughing about the idea of reliving the days of the girly bangs which we haven't had , at least in Anne's full-blown scale, since primary school. However, although I'm seriously curious to relive the experience, I think I know much better than to actually go and do it.

No, I'm not ready to jump in this case.

Anyway, I can't seem to get one line from the movie out of my head, and I really hope that one day in the future, I can look back and at the very least tell myself that

(I) must've done somethin' rite....

Confession of a dangerous stomach

Geez.....
I'm gonna pay dearly for what I did this evening. Out of all the things in the world, I went to a buffet!!!!!
And this is when I'm supposed to be on a very strict diet per orders from my trainer.

And what's even worse....., I really enjoyed the food aside from the company. ...
I seriously wonder if Gin-man and Mr. Bunny are the devil in disguise.

Well, nothing I can do now except to pray really hard and keep my fingers crossed that this one-time buffet won't do too terrible a damage on my program.

Mayday. Mayday.

Critical case of carb withdrawal identified.

(Wish I knew what kind of assistance to request in this case)

Grumpy old girl

So many things are going on right now I seriously wish I had a clone.
The number of people I have to deal with (including myself), the number of requests and concerns to address, the number of phone calls to make....
O sh*t, I think I forgot to make one phone call.

Anyway, it's getting almost ridiculous considering the continuous comments within the line of "This shouldn't be a problem for you.You have all the time in the world .... since you're a full time student now."

Multiply this comment by the number of people that you know, and....
VOILA!
You're in trouble.

I'm just a bit worried that I might snap the next time anyone makes the above comment in front of me.
So far, I've managed to do with a sigh or just by rolling my eyes.... but please do excuse me if I somehow snap the next time I hear those words.
Don't say I didn't warn you now.....

The yapping fake Cap

I'm really quite befuddled by what I see from the married couples around me......

Why is it that married couples don't "talk" to each other? And by "talk" of course I am not referring to something within the line of the yapping that I do all the time to my friends. By "talk" I mean serious communication. It doesn't even have to be a serious topic, but why can't they just talk to each other?

I mean, if they could manage to talk to each other on the phone and bog the phone all day, if they could whisper seriously silly things to each other like there's no tomorrow, if they could do all that while they were dating or seeing each other, then why can't they communicate with each other once they're married?
I just don't get it.

Is it because they're so sick of each other that there's nothing they feel like discussing with their spouses anymore? I sure hope not.

I used to naively think that the reason married couples don't need to talk so much to each other was because they know each other so well that there was no need to say the words.
I know now that I either watched too many chick flicks or listened to too many cheesy songs. So, as a penalty, there will be no more Ronan Keating's When you say nothing at all for me.

Well, ... not until the next time I start singing along like a crazy girl when I hear this on the radio

Seriously, ... I hope if -- and that's a big IF--, IF God's finally nice enough to let me be in the same position one day, I pray that I will not do it the same way.

This just reminds me of what an old friend from high school said once. She told me that given my kungfu, I'd have to find a really, seriously quiet person who can bear with all my yapping. I thought it was silly then, but now I'm not so sure especially considering how I've gotten from good to EXCELLENT in my yapping skills. Then, a few years later, someone else told me that his first impression of me was: "Boy, ....is this girl talkative or what!!!?!?

Despite their comments, though, the same two people used to make me talk to them for hours. When I tried to cut down on phone bills, they would call me instead and insisted that I talk to them... about anything at all.
It's quite silly now that I think of it.

Anyway, I found this from an old acquaintance's posting on friendster's bulletin board:

Capricorn, the tenth Sign of the Zodiac, is all abouthard work. Those born under this Sign are morethan happy to put in a full day at the office,realizing that it will likely take a lot of those daysto get to the top. That's no problem, sinceCapricorns are both ambitious and determined:they will get there. Life is one big project for these folks, and they adapt to this by adopting a businesslike approach to most everything they do.Capricorns are practical as well, taking things onestep at a time and being as realistic and pragmaticas possible. The Capricorn-born are extremelydedicated to their goals, almost to the point ofstubbornness. Boy, those victories sure smellsweet, though, and that thought alone will keep Capricorns going.

If this is true, I should seriously try to re-check my date of birth.

Not a very good Saturday

I decided to wake up a bit early today just to make sure that I can get my hands on the Saturday edition of the paper, or to be precise, the Recruit section of the paper.
As HB once said, Saturday is the day of hope.

Anyway, another reason why I decided to do it is that I wanted to get at the uncle who ran the mom-n-pop shop downstairs. Not that he's mean or annoying or anything. He's the cheerful, kinda' goofy, happy-go-lucky type that always makes fun of me when I run downstairs and try to get the newspapers. He used to say "good morning" to me when I do, even when it was already 1 pm. Occassionally, I would get the very last copy that he has, and he would say: " Very lucky today, hor?"

So there I was, grinning happily as I grabbed my copy of the paper and walked to his "counter" to pay for it. He wasn't there though, he was busy arranging some stuff in another corner of the tiny shop. That's when I noticed the shop looked a bit more spacious. Some stuff were missing.
I asked him about it and that's when he told me ," You're gonna see less and less in the next few days."

I thought it was one of his silly jokes again, so I smiled and waited for his punch line.

"Seriously, I'm folding up the business. Someone's gonna take over next month."

This is coming from a guy who told me and my aunt that he doesn't mind losing money every month for the past few years, just so he has something to do to keep his mind occupied.

I thought that business was really bad now, but he told me that he wants to spend time with his wife who has just been told that the breast cancer she had 2 years ago is back.
At this stage, he and his wife were told that any therapy is basically only to try to slow down the cancer from spreading anywhere else.

"Nothing I can do" he said.
"I must take care of her...... must take her to see "the world" now...."

I was speechless.
The thought of my grandpa crossed my mind.
But there's no point in mentioning that story to him now.
He seems to be dealing with it much better than I did in a relatively similar position.

There was a brief silence as we looked at each other.
I was afraid that if I stayed any longer in the shop I would start to cry.
A deep breath and sigh later, I said a weak good-bye and left. I wish I could give him a hug or tell him to hang in there, but I didn't know the chinese word for it.

The other day, when I dropped by his shop to get a top-up card for my phone, I ended up looking at some of the old pictures he had from back in 1968. He was happily telling me how pulau Ubin used to be so much fun back then. Another day, he was proudly "introducing" me to the pictures of his grandchildren that he proudly displays on the shelf behind his counter. And yet another day, I met one of his grandsons in the shop, sitting contentedly on a tiny stool in one corner, happily munching on some snacks that I suppose he raided from his grandpa's shop.

I'm sure gonna miss seeing him around....

Can I have some cartilage, please?

Chocomania,

I think I'm out of cartilage. Could you please help me order some?
Thanks,

Dr.S

To this day, I can't help but smile when I remember this email I got when I was still working in my previous office.

I just remember this as I was complaining to Mr. Bunny about using up almost a whole 500-sheet packet of paper and a fresh set of cartridge just to keep up with printing for school work and the part-time stint I have now.

In local style (i.e. Gin-man and Mr. Bunny's style) : So "fierce" ah?

At this moment, I seriously wish I could curse like Captain Haddock in Tintin.
But I suppose I shouldn't. I can't either.
Seriously, why is it so hard to convince people that I know what I'm doing?

Darn it, what I did just now is gonna cost me so much .....

Weekend log

Yesterday was another "full" day for me.

I had to get up early to settle my tuition fees at school. Some idiot hit my front bumper at the parking lot and I only found out when I got back from the StudentServices.
I was so darn pissed off..... Still am actually....
Can't help but feel like cursing the coward cum idiot.
(On hindsight, I find it interesting how in sharing this story with my friends, I simply assume that it was a male driver. )

Anyway, I didn't have much time to sit around and investigate (as suggested by Bow later on), as I still had to run to my very first kick fit appointment
Yup, smelly gloves and all (The trainer is helping me buy a new pair. YAY!Red gloves and wraps! I bet everyone in my family will have something to say about this...)
The session was really impressive though.... 500 g in 1 hour??!?!?
Especially since I spent most of the time panting and gasping for air.

After a quick nap at home, which I think I fully deserve since I haven't been getting enough sleep and everybody says I look tired, it was off to campus for my class.

After the full 3-hour lecture, HB and I dropped off the guys at various spots and then we went back to Brauhaus for a girl power talk session.
It was really fun though the place was unusually crowded last night.
Apparently, HB and I seem to share a lot in common.

As for today, this evening was my very first encounter with snails as a dish on the dining table....
Yaiks.... Talk about color, texture and taste, it was definitely an interesting experience.
I was quite nervous at first, but since everybody else seemed to enjoy it a lot, I didn't wanna be a party pooper.
Remembering the song from the classic "Three Little Pigs" video that my brother and I used to watch: "Who's afraid of the big bad (snail)?" I thought.
So off I went sucking from the end of the snails that my grandma carefully mutilated earlier in the afternoon. Grandpa was watching me the whole time and gave me a pointer or two about the proper way to suck a snail out of its shell. My uncle was telling me about how people used to order snails in buckets back in his hometown.
Not sure that is something I think I'll be doing any time soon, though....
Not really crazy about it...

Anyway, now it's just chillin' time for me.
Just bought 3 cds for myself on Thursday when I picked up the textbooks for Mr. Bunny and Uncle: Soler's Intuition concert VCD (so I can just stare at the gorgeous twins), Jack Johnson's In Between Dreams (just in case he has other songs as nice as his Better Together) and a compilation album titled Nat King Cole @ the Movies. I know these are kinda old, but who cares, since they're so cheap. Anyay, the first two I kinda "used up" the past two days and now, it's Nat's time....

I must say, he truly deserves to have King as his middle name.

My previous life

I've always believed in reincarnation, ever since I was a little kid.
I guess I can blame it on my parents for introducing me to Buddhism (though not properly and thoroughly) , or I can blame it on myself for watching too many Hong Kong movies and TV series growing up.

There's one thing I couldn't seem to straighten out in my understanding of the concept, though.
The question has been bothering me ever since I learned how humans have multiplied significantly from the days of Adam and Eve.
(I'm so screwed up, I know..... Well, this is what you get from sending a kid to a Catholic school and feeding him/her Buddhism at home. )

But anyway, so if everyone of us has gone through several rounds of reincarnation before, I couldn't explain to myself how the world's population just keeps growing and growing.
"Where did all these newbies come from?", I thought.
Especially when you take out those who have reached nirvana.... aren't they supposed to stop reincarnating then?
(Again, I told you I don't have the whole picture of Buddhism.... I know there must be some serious glitches in my interpretation of it. )

One day I found the answer:
I learned at school about the extinction of tons of species and how there used to be dinosaurs just chillin' and eating up each other. Though there were also nice dinosaurs that were vegetarians.

Then I remembered something they taught us in my Buddhist Sunday class:
If you do good things and create good karma, you'll lead a better life in your next one, one step closer to nirvana. On the contrary, if you do bad things, you make bad karma, and you might end up as an animal in your next life.
(well, this wasn't the teacher's exact words... but it was my interpretation as a 6-year old kid).

I remember asking my mom if that meant I'd turn into a cockroach if I did bad things.
" Uh huh.... ", my mom said without even looking at me.
I remember for quite a while after that, I couldn't help but stare at my brother's dog and goldfish, wondering what they had done in their previous lifes.

Anyway, so the whole puzzle was solved with the help of my science teacher.

Now I know what I was in my previous life(s)!!!

I must have been a really, really NICE dinosaur.

A visit to the Oracle

No, I'm definitely not Neo, or even Trinity for that matters. It was a different type of oracle.
A different type of story, and this one was slightly more straight-forward in his explanation than the Matrix's.

I know to some it sounds like such an "auntie" thing to do, but out of curiosity, I went with my aunt and grandma anyway.
It was a favor that my aunt had promised to do for my other aunt.
(This is what you get for being in a huge and closely-knit extended family)

While we're at it, I thought I might as well see what he sees in the future for me.
Most of the stuff he (or He) said was quite relieving, but I still can't figure out this one particular comment that he made. My aunt and I have different interpretation of this comment.

I think my interpretation made more sense than hers though...

^_^

My aunt and I did agree on one thing: How amateur we were compared to the others who were there. I guess it's perfectly understandable considering this was the first time we've done this.
Seriously, people just seem to have so many questions in their mind. Each one of them needed at least a good 10 minutes.... but it took both of us less than 10 minutes in total, I believe.
Lesson learnt: Need to practice on scenario analysis with hypothetical questions (What if I do this instead of that? What if.... What if....?) along with sensitivity analysis of each alternative.
^_^

Anyway, I just wanted to make note of his comment for future reference. We'll see how things turns out.

And no, I am not looking for an Adam-Sandler's Universal remote control. I'm iust keeping my fingers crossed. Will just hope for the best.

More addictions

Just came back from Mustafa Centre again.
By now, I'm seriously really close to being convinced that for the first time ever in my life, I'm using shopping as an excuse to go out for a drive.
I actually had to try really hard to convince myself that I really, really do need a new mat.

Geez... now not only am I a chocoholic, a shopaholic, ....
in a way I've also turned into a mustafa-holic!

Well, ....that and a steering-wheel-aholic.

Midnite Click

I'm glad I went to see Click with Suzie.

I picked her up at her place and went for a tour around her flat that she shares with her sister (and mom). I'm so envious of her..... I can't wait till the day I have my own place.
It was also really nice to see her mom again after so many years, especially to see how well she's doing after going through so much a few years ago.
It is amazing what love and care can do to a person, the right kind of love, that is.......

We had a little problem finding parking, but we got there just in time for the movie.
Even during the first few minutes of it, I kind of choked up a bit at the sight of Bed Bath and Beyond.
It's silly, I know....

Anyway the movie is just what I expected from Adam Sandler.
His typical heart-warming-end movie with hilarious bits and snide comments here and there.... and I loved it.
Mostly because it has just reminded me of the main reason why I decided to come back.

I was thinking about this on the way home at 1.30 in the morning, noticing how I seem to have slowly somehow forgotten about it as I have to deal with other pressures that crept into the picture.

Anyway, I got home to some noise and light from the kitchen, and later found out that it was my grandpa having his midnite crackers.
His hearing is so poor nowadays he didn't even hear me come in and was a bit surprised to see me walk by. He casually asked if I wanted some and I decided to just grab a stalk of celery and sit there at the table with him.

We just sat there and did not say much to each other except for when I started by asking him whether those were the "good" crackers that he mentioned last week. I've heard and witnessed how Grandpa's memory has been deteriorating a lot. Despite knowing that it's not gonna help, I've been trying to initiate small talks with him as much as possible just to get him to talk and response to questions.

This just reminds me of my roti-prata supper sessions with my late paternal grandpa.
Sure do miss him a lot...

I've just realized I haven't been talking to my parents that much lately. A while ago, Mom complained that I used to call them up more when I was in US. Well, what can I say, Mom... I was earning my living then... I'll try to do better,though.

Note to Adam Sandler: I don't think a universal remote control is the way to go.
Should've talked to the korean cloning expert instead.

(Recap: Multiplicity starring Michael Keaton, ...I think.... Anyway I don't remember much about this movie.)

"Family comes first!" - Click(2006)

After-class outing

After class tonight, I went with the other two musketeers (Gin-man and Mr. Bunny) , the Daimsel-in-(di)stress a.k.a. HB (just kidding, HB..... ) and 2 other guest stars to the second Third Coast again.

The crooning singer was still there tonight, singing his heart out while nobody's listening.
Kinda' reminds me of Phoebe's stints at the Central Perk.
(Smelly Cat... Smelly Cat.......... Little Black Curly Hair... How did you end up there?.....
Hahahaha.... she's hilarious! Anyway, I think Phoebe had way more appreciative people listening than this guy does.)
This time I also saw an auntie sitting at the table right by the door. We smiled at each other as I walked pass by her to the restroom.
Couldn't figure out what she was doing there coz she looked so out of place.
Come to think of it, I hope I wasn't seeing things.... It is the "seventh month" after all.

The two musketeers played pool and Mr. Bunny tried to teach me how to aim (in vain).
We just hung out and chatted.
It was really nice and relaxing. Too bad not everyone could join us tonight.
Mommy1 who's turned into one hot momma misses her baby at home, Uncle wasn't up for it, and Mr. Vain had an "appointment".

Anyway, it just hit me:
Boy, ... I'm sure gonna miss everyone really bad ......
Wonder if I could stay somehow...
But what am I saying here? This coming from someone who said this is a boring and suffocating place with a terrible education system and terrible working culture?
I must be under a lot of stress.... Think I'm seeing, hearing and thinking things.
Hahaha....

Then another hit:
I cried my heart out last year, also for the same reason.

What can I say, I have always been really bad in letting go.
I wish I could just put everyone in my pocket and have them with me everywhere I go, so I don't have to bother missing anyone anymore.

Maybe I should contact the Wicked Witch of the West.

Skipped gym today. Had problem walking after some leg stretches and warrior pose on Wednesday. As he passed by a few times, the instructor kept telling me to push more and get out of my comfort zone. Didn't know I would be completely out of it the next day. Anyway, wonder if 2 x 1.5 hr of practise would be enough as penalty for skipping gym. Anyway, I bet I would be so dead when I start the kick-fit training next week.

By the way, I just realized I live on the West side of the island......
Heck!
Don't tell me.... I AM the Wicked Witch of the West?

Just not my day

This is a really bad day.

First of all, I'm kinda' upset that I haven't lost any weight since my training started.
I know all the talk about building muscles that are heavier than fat... but I can't help but feel disappointed.
Note to self: Must hang in there!

Then on the way home, I think I got caught when I "didn't realize I was going slightly beyond the speed limit" on the expressway.

Then it was home to find out what a scheming, scamming organization a reputable education institution can be.
All the intransparencies. All the so-called behind-the-scenes politics.
I hate it when people try to camouflage the truth.
I think I would've been less upset if they had been more honest in handling the issue.

I know Uncle's right. At the end of the day, it boils down to business.
Make money.
The heck with people.

I was so pissed off earlier I was ready to just pack up and leave.

Wait a minute... is this the sign I was looking for?
Hahaha....

Neah..... I have to learn how to be cool as a cucumber.
Now is there any schoool in this world that offers a graduate degree in this subject?
I suspect they might have something like this in Tibet....

I must have been a gypsi in my previous life. Either that or a Mongolian nomad.
Wait a minute... guess I'd better confirm first whether or not they really have nomads in Mongolia.

At the bookstore yesterday, while waiting in this tremendously long line, I overheard a discussion among some freshmen behind me( or at least I believe they are freshmen.... well, undergrads for sure).
I was really amazed to hear one of the girls said (in their giggly girly voice):
"Huuh?? Work in Japan ah? I don't want leh.... I don't wanna work overseas. I wanna stay here in *blip*. "

"Don't be a 井底蛙"
That's what a cab driver once fiercely said to me.
Note to him: Dearest uncle cabbie, maybe you should talk to that girl .... Straighten her out instead of me.

Signs.
I'm looking for signs.
Any sign at all....

It's silly, I know.
Superstitious? I don't think so.... I believe everything happens for a reason.

I'm waiting to see where the wind will take me next.

It's so weird....
I was really tortured at the gym today by this senior PT, but I found myself actually enjoying the torture, despite almost fainting when I was doing the weight training.

Seriously should've gone for the senior trainer instead.

On shuffle mode, my ipod decided to play me Frank Sinatra's My Kind of Town.

sigh....

I found my second Third Coast

I went with HB and Uncle to see one of the fireworks at the Espalanade on Tuesday.
The fireworks was ok but the crowd wasn't....
I guess I might be getting slightly too old for all the brouhaha.
I had to try very hard not to start scolding these youngsters for cutting line, sneaking in to get a better view in the front.
Well, that plus I think I'm a bit traumatized getting stared at by a traffic police when I decided to join some people who were jaywalking.

Anyway, Mr Playboy Bunny joined us with his gf after the fireworks, and we all headed to Novena Square to meet up with Mr Gin and his lady.
We went to this place that supposed to be a German food / beer place.
But interestingly, they had Fried pork knuckle bee hoon in their menu!
My gosh... Didn't know Germans are also into te-kar-bee-hoon....
Hahaha....

The place is really NICE though. Very relaxed, cozy ambience. Food was good. Beer was better. They had some fruity beer which tastes so much better than the regular beer.
I'll definitely go back there one of these days. The ambience of the place kinda' reminds me a bit of Third Coast in Chicago. Well, minus the singer that nobody listens to despite his effort to sing his heart out.

Sometime after midnite, we left the place. I had to follow the Gin man's lead to PIE coz I had no idea where I was.
5 minutes away from home, I changed direction and headed to Mustafa Centre instead.
What a waste of gas,.... I know.
Novena - PIE - Clementi - AYE - ECP - Mustafa?
Geez....

But I LOVED it though....
Well, night time is my favorite time of the day in the first place.
So midnite walks, midnite grocery shopping, midnite drives.... you name it and I love it. Well, except for midnite gotta-have-this-done-by-tomorrow kinda' thing.
Everything seems so much more peaceful in the wee hours of the night.

I slowed down a bit on the Esplanade bridge (whatever its real name is).... and managed to stole a glance, or rather a few of them, of the downtown skyline.
It was really nice.

By the way, I really think every city should have their own Mustafa Centere. Seriously.....

I think the place is amazing.

Branded watches. MP3 player. NIKE. CF card. Luggages. Yoga bricks. Clothings.Stationery. Toiletries. Cellphones. Groceries. Souvenirs. Home applicances. Toys. Digital cameras.
Open for 24-hours everyday (Best part).

My buddy, Mr. Playboy Bunny said that I'm just a LOST girl.
Not to be mistaken for the TV series, he meant that I'm literally lost.
He said I have a lot of mixed feelings.

He couldn't have been more right on, I suppose.

Gosh,..... I hope it's not that obvious to others.
(Hahaha... who are you kidding here?)

Start counting down to my (hopefully) final 16 weeks of torture.
Keeping my eyes focused on December.

In so much pain now... It even hurts just to reach out to turn on the lights.
Have no idea what to do tomorrow. Will go to the gym anyway.... Must stick with it (keep repeating to self).

I've never realized how hard it can be to edit someone else's writing when you're afraid you might start turning the thing upside-down and inside-out. I've edited quite a few project reports for some of my classes before but I've never had such a hard time.

A repenting couch potato ???

Today couldn't have been more extreme.
I went for my very first personal training ever this morning. Spent a good 2hrs at the gym (mostly in the ladies changing room, though... hahaha). I keep on reminding my PT that I don't want to end up like Arnold. Especially since he mentioned that my test showed no liquid retention and aside from the obvious sinful fat, I have quite a significant muscle mass.

Geez..... I seriously feel like the Terminator (in progress) now....
(Practising my hasta la visa, baby now....)

Anyway, after doing my laundry this afternoon, I had to go to my Yoga class earlier this evening where the instructor seemed to have his mind set on trying to reach the 30% drop-out rate he was bragging about in the first week. So, another 1.5 hr of sweating and gasping for Oxygen....
(Inhaaaaale....... Exhaaaaale..... Inhale.... Ex...Inhale.... Ex..Inhale.. INHALE. Darn it! Where did all the Oxygen go?)

My bro was nice enough to call up and check on me (i.e. nag about watching my diet and putting in extra effort on the exercise part). Anyway, it's not very often I get a phone call from him with some signs of concern on my well-being, though.
Makes me wonder what new PC games he wants me to get for him next.....

All in all... It was quite a day for a couch potato, I suppose....

Now I'm gonna take a good rest to welcome the awful pain that's gonna hit me later.
On second thought.... I think it's here :(

Listening to Jack Johnson's Better Together and loving it....

Everything is an illusion

Growing up, I used to think that someday...I could be as wise and knowledgeable as the "adults" in my life.
Of course, my Mom had a huge role in this case, with her constantly brain-washing me that as long as I study really hard, I can be anything I want, well almost anything, since she was also the one who told her friends: "This one (i.e. Me) is so useless in Math compared to her brother."
So I guess Math teacher was out from the list then :P

Anyway, so I grew up looking forward to being wise or at least wiser.
I think that was the only upside of aging that I was looking forward to.

Well, judging from the silly things I used to do, I think I have become slightly wiser now.

However, judging from the silly things I still do, I don't see the difference between where I am now and where I was before.

To make things worse, I think that age has taken away the wisdom from the "adults" in my life.
Either that, or they actually have never had it before.

"Everything is an illusion", said David Carradine in Kungfu the Legend.
(This is one of the TV quotes that have been with me for the past 20+ years. Used to stay up late till almost midnite once a week to watch this TV series. God knows I don't like David Carradine. God knows I don't like angmohs interpretation of the Chinese Gongfu, or their interpretation of anything Chinese for that matter. So, only God knows why as a kid I would sacrifice so much for that crappy TV series.)

I guess then maybe wisdom is an illusion, too...

The absent girl

I'm so mad at myself for being so absent-minded.
I missed my Sunday class as I woke up thinking it was Saturday.
When my aunt asked me to go with her for another "cleaning-up" session at Anchorage..., I just went along with her.

No wonder I felt so off... Something was upsetting me but I couldn't pinpoint what it was until grandma asked me about my yoga class.

Darn it.... my 78-yr old grandma has better memory than me.

I hope I can still remember my name when I wake up tomorrow.

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

It's do darn annoying...... It was bright and sunny this morning, so I decided to clean some of the windows. Inside out, that is. So I had to stand on a chair and reach out the window to reach some of the spots on the window pane, coz I didn't like the wiper that my aunt had.
It was kinda' scary coz some of the windows do not have any grille, so I was reaching out a window on the 6th floor at times.

At one point while I was standing on the chair and wiping the window panes, someone from a higher floor actually threw a bottle of water out the window. SPLAT!
I thought that was a reminder to me of what would happen to my brain if I had lost my balance.

Anyway, I'm not sure my mom or aunt would've approved the way I did it, but who cares? It's cleaned, ... or so I thought.

Less than 2 hours laters, I was sitting around sorting through some of the trinkets I have... when suddenly out of noswhere the sky became overcast and rain started pouring like nobody's business.

WTH?

All my effort just went down the drain.... :(

I guess that's what happens when you live in the tropics,huh?
(Splat... splat.... splat.... the sound of the huge, or actually gigando raindrops falling on my window now)

One special exam question

I just had to write this down before I forget. My memory span is getting shorter and shorter everyday.

In order to learn the English language, I remember we had to rely on private courses as English was not part of the curriculum back home when I was in primary school.

My parents scrimped and saved so my brother and I could take those private English courses. To this day, I think my brother still hates me for causing him to have to take those lessons, as my parents insisted he had to accompany me. I remember for the first few years, I was always the youngest in the class. Most of my classmates used to be 2-5 years older than me.

I suppose maybe that's why the teacher had problem coming up with a question for me - the class baby - during our oral exam. Of the few questions that he asked, there was this one that I think will be the only exam question I'll remember clearly from my 20+ years as a student

As a 10-year old kid, I was asked: "Which do you think is better, to love or to be loved? "

In the current context, this might not have been such a weird question for a 10-yr old, but considering that this was quite a while ago.... I'm still quite amused now when I think of it.

Anyway, I remember answering promptly: "To be loved, of course."

"Why?", the teacher asked.

I remember smiling awkwardly, thinking "Heck! What kind of exam is this?", and then responding:
"Because if you love someone, that doesn't always mean that the person will love you back. But to be loved by someone,... then you don't have to worry about anything...."

I think up until recently I still believed in the essence of what I said that day, but ever since I came to study here in this island I've seen a very good example, literally in front of me, on why I couldn't have been more wrong.

I guess to be loved isn't necessarily better than to love, even if the other party loves you to death (and back... creepy! hahaha). And I'm sure one won't be in such a better position the other way around either: to love someone to death without reciprocating response from the other end. Obviously, the latter I was smart enough to figure out by the time I was 10.

I wanna be an AB!!

I found out about this Japanese Blood Type Personality Theory on Wikipedia from Kenny Sia's website.

According to this theory,

• My best traits should be:
  Conservative, introverted, reserved, patient, punctual, perfectionist and good with plants, and
• My worst traits should be:
  Obsessive, stubborn, self conscious, and uptight.

It's ridiculous, 'cause I can only relate to the bad traits and none of the good ones.

But that's only half of what made me a tad upset. According to the theory,I share the same blood and personality type with
George H. W. Bush, Ayumi Hamasaki, O. J. Simpson, Britney Spears, Alan Alda, Adolf Hitler, Lyndon B. Johnson, and Richard Nixon.

Well, ain't it just great!?!?

Now, not only do I not have any of the good traits, now I am in the same group as Bush, O.J. "the gloves", Hitler and not to mention Mrs. Federline!

Geez....I'm speechless...

I'm kinda' happy today that (again) it's almost ridiculous.

Although I think it has a lot to do with my (three musketeer+1) lunch, I think it's the bonus part that really made my day today.

I didn't realize how great it would make me feel to know that somebody actually spent about an hour going through my blog in the wee hours of the nite and read through the kind of crap that I posted. Even more so, to know that I have caused or perhaps have indirectly caused the person's splitting headache at work the day after (although he politely blamed his own case of insomnia for this).

HAHAHAHAHA.....

If you're ever back to visit this crappy blog again,..... thanks for making my day, Uncle!^_^
On hindsight, I think you're kinda' right.... I do tend to ask too many questions, I suppose.

One messed up tongue

Some of my friends don't understand why it is such a big deal for me, but I'm seriously annoyed by my English.

You see, growing up, I've had quite a few English teachers with various background, and of course various accents and all. Aside from the numerous Indonesian teachers at school, with various accents (including a really stern, yet sweet and funny Ms. Adoe with a touch of British accent in her speech), I've also had at least two Indian teachers (also with a slight British influence in their English), and last but not least several American teachers.

So you see, it's no wonder my English became a hotchpotch of things.

You see, I say trunk and not boot. I like colours better than colors. Same thing with neighbours. I used to check the cheque amount whenever I received any. The food is slightly burnt, but not completely spoiled. I'm not crazy about math, so I don't see the need to have it in multiple dose as the British do maths. I do the American urbanization and realization, but I prefer the British centres and theatres.I use queue and line interchangeably,and I also do both truck and lorry, depending on the type of vehicles, usually with the latter describing those gigando ones. Well at least nowadays I think I tend to stick to a single way in my pronunciation of tomato, garage and dance.

In short, as you can see, I'm just a total mess.
Now, won't you be upset if you were in my shoes?

Picture perfect.... NOT

Have you ever stumbled upon some pictures (not even an old one) in one of your folders, and go "WHOA!!!! My gosh ... That's hideous!!", while looking at the sight of yourself in the picture.

Well, I just did.

What are you supposed to do when you find such a thing? Dump in the trash because you don't like what you see? Wouldn't that be some kind of denial though?

I'm actually considering printing it out in super duper large size and displaying it on my wall, so that it will be the first thing I see every morning. Maybe then it'll remind me to do something about it...whatever it is that I don't like to see. That-thing-which-must-not-be-named.

Wonder if that will just drive me into depression or if that will be my wake-up call....

Another rambling session

Listening to Earl Klugh's Till the End of Time as I write this. One of the few songs that are just loaded with fun memories for me.
(Thanks, roomie!).
I can almost see the vibrant colours of the fall foliage with my eyes closed. The blue sky over the lake. The view from the interstate highways from our drives to the suburbs. The river with horny mallards.
Hahahaha....

Cosi Noodle's Crispy pad thai. Chipotle's Chicken fajita burito bol. Oak Street Beach. Frozen ass in the bitterly cold winter wind. Dearborn.Red maple leaves. The Roland-Ron-Bobby-Gabriel team. Clark / Division. Water Tower. Esquire (first time going to a movie alone). Mag Mile. Stinky trains. Ashland. Wood. Oak. Maple. Elm. Treasure Island. Ace Hardware. Loew's. 90/94. 1130.1309.312.Washington-Monroe-Jackson.Daley Plaza. Museum Campus. Skokie. Evanston. Flurries (Omigosh, I almost forgot what it's called). Sleet. Slush. Wind chill. Daily dose of Jay Leno and Ellen. My Netflix subscription. Empire. Pizano. Corner Bakery's corn chowder. Land of Lincoln.

I'm so afraid I'll wake up one day and forget.
It's silly,...... I know.
By the way, I just noticed how things start and end with food.
Hahahaha

A friend just asked me, where my heart is.
Scattered brain, I had no real answer.
You see, I'm a homeless person looking for a home.

One baby step at a time

Went for my very first yoga class ever this morning.
One baby step at a time....
I hope, no... I suppose I should say I WILL stick with it.

(Repeating to self: Be a pretzel... be a pretzel... Pretend to be one, at least.)

Must concentrate on getting the abdominal breathing right now....or maybe in my case it should be called belly breathing instead.

My insanity

"The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results."

-Albert Einstein-

Happy Planet

I really like how Indonesia is ranked higher in the Happy Planet Index than some highly developed countries.
Despite the fact that I wished it was meant to be an indicator of the happiest countries in the world rather than what it realy is, I couldn't agree more with the statement in the report that there are different routes to achieving comparable levels of well-being.

Hamburger vs Pretzel

Bad news: The yoga class I signed up for was cancelled!
Darn it....!! (huffing and puffing in madness)
...
Oh well... It wasn't meant to be, I suppose (back to the default couch potato mode).....

Good news: There's another class that might just survive the low take-up rate, and I signed up for that one instead.
(Keeping my fingers crossed)

I seriously can't picture myself doing yoga though. There's no way a hamburger can pass for a pretzel, is there?

I bet I'll have such a good (and humiliating) time laughing at myself. It's either that or we'll end up with somebody getting transported by an ambulance to a nearby ER: It's either gonna be me for a case of locked limbs (instead of locked jaws) or the instructor for high blood pressure after trying to teach me one of those sun salutation poses.

We'll see how it goes then.... I hope I'll make it to class. It's been a while since the last time I've been this excited about anything.

I had one of those weird dreams of mine again last night. I vaguely remember snippets of it, but I remember overall it was quite odd. Potential dejavus or just mixed-up memories? Only time will tell, I guess....

Field trip to airport

I drove my mom and niece to the airport today. We spent a bit more time there as we got there a bit early. Initially, it was just another day at the airport.

What caught my attention later was this bunch of primary school students that are split up into several groups of roughly 20 kids each. They were running around, trying to out-talk each other at the top of their lungs, jumping up and down on the temporary platform leading to the skytrain and making tons of noise.
At first, it was kinda cute.. . But after being squeezed in the skytrain with at least 40 of these dennis-the-menaces, I started feeling sorry for the leaders of the groups(or teachers, I dunno.....), who didn't look like they're anything older than 21. I bet they felt like strangling those kids.

I think one could kinda tell the difference though, between those who seem to hold it just fine, still holding some kids' hands, checking on some them and making sure they're comfortable inside the super air-conditioned halls, while walking together with them, as opposed to other who simply look as if they're trying to lose a detective that's been tailing them.

Anyway, after while (trust me,.... they were everywhere), I started feeling sorry for the kids. I mean, as much as airports can be an interesting place, I think the field trips I went on in my school days were much more interesting. Of course there was the typical zoo trip, but the field trip I went on to the huge botanic garden and the zoological museum also involved an hour drive out of town. It also involved a visit to one of the country's 3 presidential palaces with deers around in the palace yard. There was another trip to a volcano that involved a 4-hr drive to another city. I actually went on 2 field trips to the volcano and both times I traced the path down the crater with my friends, where some of my friends boiled duck eggs in what looked like puddles of boiling water. It stank as hell from all the sulfur released by the volcano, but we had such a great time (The crater has since been closed due to increased volcano activity, I believe. Either that or they just didn't know better then to have let us hiked up and down the crater). There was also a stop at one of the hot springs in the area. A shorter drive from the city than the volcano would be the tea plantations, which used to be so much colder back then before all the pollution. There's also a safari park which is kinda like a drive-in zoo, where you can make fun of all the sleepy lions and giraffes, touch a llama's nose that's wedged in a small gap on your car window looking for more carrots, gawk at the size (and smell) of an elephant's poo, and have pictures taken of you holding a baby white tiger.

I'm thinking of all the tuitions, music lessons, swimming lessons, drama classes, etc that these noisy kids have to go through.

Now I feel bad for those kids. I think I got a way, way better deal than them.

Polite Singaporean kids

I was really impressed today.
My impression of nerdy, innocent-looking Singaporean boys and girls is gone for good today.

I was driving some of my relatives to the home of another relative in Bukit Batok. With the number of passengers I had to carry, I decided to borrow my Uncle's van instead. I have driven the thing a few times before but although I made it just fine, I must admit that my aunt's Lancer is definitely an easier pet to handle.

Anyway, trying to negotiate my way around a really tight corner spot (and making sure I stay as close as possible to the wall so I won't be blocking anyone's way), apparently a young Chinese boy from a car who was blocked for probably around 20 seconds by my van yelled: " F*ck you! Don't even know how to park ah?!?"

The boy got away as I did not hear it, but my cousins who were standing nearby trying to make sure I don't add another dent (by my cousin) on the van, caught it loud and clear alright.

What impressed me the most though was not the boy, as I believe kids are really fast in picking up bad things from their surroundings. What I found really impressive was how the parents who were right there with him did not make a single comment.

I was hunting for the boy while walking to my relative's block.

I wanted to tell him to go and f**k his parents instead as they're doing such a terrible job in raising him, there's a chance he might be better off at some Home for juvenile delinquents.

What's in a name (of a place)?

I'm sure some people might not get why I would find this amusing, but I do.

A while ago, after taking my grandpa for a visit to the doctor's, my cousin and I were told to drive my grandparents to a certain hawkers' centre supposedly quite well-known for its satay beehon.

My aunt insisted that all I had to do was to tell my cousin to drive us to the spot in Ang-suah that they used to go to.
Relaying the message to my cousin who claimed he was not good in any Chinese dialect despite having parents who mainly communicate in Chinese, the response I got was: " Oh... you mean Bukit Merah ah?"

Now for those of you who are not bilingual in Indonesian/ Malay and any Chinese dialect, Bukit Merah in Indonesian/ Malay can be literally translated as Ang-suah in Teochew/ Hokkien.

So I didn't hesitate at all:" Uh huh.... "
"Your mom said it's the place you guys used to go to a lot for satay beehoon." I added.

Then off we go....

Except when I got there, I was quite sure that we were not at the right place as I had also been there once a few months back. I tried to convince my cousin that we were at the wrong place.

The debate was ended with a quick phone call to my aunt, and everything was solved with my cousin waving his hand in annoyance and exclaimed:

"Haiyaaaa!!! That's Redhill laaaahh....!!!"

I feel like crap.
Today started when I woke up with this darn pain in my throat. Couldn't swallow anything. Not even water.
Wasted $30 to get some antibiotics from a nearby GP, which is something I don't usually do for such a trivial thing as sore throat. Last time I took any antibiotics was at least almost 2 years ago I believe. But this one was a killer.

Anyway, it's just that I have tons of things to do. I need to clean up my room as this place is gonna be the HQ for the next few days. We're gonna be packed like sardines for at least a week. I need to be the driver for the next few days, picking up people from Harbourfront. Grandpa's b'day dinner is scheduled to be this saturday. And I have that thing going on on Sunday (Keeping my fingers crossed).

With those kids running around, I definitely don't want my virus to be spreading around.

Gosh, I hope this thing goes away soon, before they get here.

U-turns

Over after-lunch coffee today, a friend told me that it's okay to make U-turns along the way.
An interesting point....

I feel so bad for complaining about being bored to everyone.... including to a friend who has to deal with a member of his family's health condition. I really didn't know the situation when I chatted with him and I still know very little now.

I really should start shutting up one of these days.

one lazy sunday

Today was definitely a family day for me. The morning was spent at home with my relatives, with a treat of my aunt's homemade mee-siam. Afterwards, it was shopping time with my granma and my aunt, followed by a movie with my little cousins. I decided to give them a treat to the movies on their last sunday before the school starts tomorrow.
Not sure if the choice of the Omen was a good move, but heck... the youngest one in the group was the only one who did not respond (at all) to the typical sudden attacks of (slightly) creepy images in the movie.
It was actually a tad disturbing to see how he wasn't disturbed at all by the movie.

I had a snack at Pepper Lunch (or at least I think that's the name of the place) before the movie, and I loved their Shake! Shake! Salad, or whatever it is they call it, which is basically just a small serving of salad in a clear plastic cup with a lid. All three types have a bit of udon at the bottom.
I tried the seaweed salad, and it's really quite nice. At the very least, it's definitely a good change from the other salads I've found here with the typical creamy dressing.
Looking forward to try the other two.

Hm.... I wonder if I stand a better chance keeping track of my salad hunt than my weird cabby rides, which have been seriously depleting in frequency since I'm not back in school yet and thus can still "steal" my aunt's car from her when she's not going to her classes.

One of my best friends asked about my plan and whether or not I have considered going back to US.

Gosh.... I think I can come up with at least a 5000-word paper as the answer.
On second thought, maybe two words will do:
Dream on...

Happiness is a matter of choice. Either you choose to be happy or you don't.

Great! It's just bloody great then!
As if the whole idea of the month of the hungry ghost is not enough to make me nervous.... this year we have a double shot of it:
Two servings of the seventh month according to the Chinese lunar calendar.

Great!
I can just picture sequels of the horror movies from previous years are gonna be popping up all over the island, with titles like the Maid Returns, the Eye (again). Wonder if they'll follow the path of King Kong vs. Godzilla and probably come up with What to Wear: the Red Shoes vs. the Ring.

Maybe I should go to the temple one of these days....and ask for one of those protective charms.

In the mean time, I'm just gonna train myself not to turn around when I hear someone calling from behind. Hope it works.

Singapore City tour

I spent today with my sis-in law who was in town for 20 hrs.
She only had less than 5 hrs of sleep last night. With her need for adequate beauty sleep, I bet today must have been hell for her.

I think today was one of my record-breaking driving day. I woke up at 6.30. Drove to Queenstown to pick up my sis-in law and her dad. After a quick breakfast at Redhill. Had those nice chwee-kuays with stinkifully yummy chai-poh with sesame seed. Afterwards, it's off to Toa Payoh Central. Half an hour there, and we moved on to Chinatown. Dropped my sis-in-law's dad off there and later dropped her off at Orchard before I flew back to Teban Gardens to get the wallet I had left behind. Hit the road right away after I grabbed what I needed, and drove back to Orchard to meet her. We spent 2.5 hrs there -- the usual Ngee Ann-Wisma-Isetan round - and then rushed back to Queenstown. There was some final packing and then it's off to Changi. Rushed check-in as they changed to an earlier flight and then it was me, myself and I all the way back West.

I'm exhausted just thinking about it, but I had more fun today than the past 3 weeks I've been here.
I've been bored stiff.
At least today was quite productive in my opinion.
At least I was getting things done.

Anyway, I found a relatively nearby community centre offering a number of classes that I'm really interested in. Pilates! YOGA! Tons of yoga classes! They have a couple of them instead of just a single class as in the one centre closest to this place. And guess what? They also have French! Oui! Oui!
And jewelery making too!

I'm gonna sign up a.s.a.p....

Anyway, looking forward to July 2nd.
Hopeful. Excited. Anxious. Nervous. Scared.

I got the letter today.
How do you keep your cool, when something that you've been wishing for is laid out in front of you?

The problem is...there are tons of others in the same spot as you.
I don't wanna keep my hopes up but I think a little bit of confidence would be good. I don't wanna go to a battle thinking I'm gonna lose.

Gosh, I really want this so much. It'll be a huge help for me...

A quick recap

I've finally gotten around to clear up some of the pics from my cell phone.
A quick recap :












2 hours of my dad's driving to Bandung last month. I found out later that my poor cousin sitting at the back seat was car-sick the whole way. She did her best to sleep it away.
The white cloud-like thingy actually covered the top of a mountain in the area. Don't ask me what the name is.... I think I surrendered all my local geography knowledge the day I finished primary schoool.













After the 2 hr drive and being stuck in a traffic jam at the Pasteur tollway exit, was treated to this view from our rooms at the hotel.
I LURRRVED IT!!!!












Enjoying the warm fire and the soothing live light jazz music performance.












But three days and two nights afterwards, was sent back to this type of traffic back in Jakarta.


Irrelevant to the trip, I wonder when I'll see this youngest cry baby in the family again..... She's gonna be another American woman by the time I see her.












Aurelle the cry baby...
Pity I didn't get to spend a lot of time with her....

I'm so fed up right now. Just freaking FED EX-tremely up.
Fed up with people treating me as if I have some kind of infectious disease.
Is being single and not dating really such a bad thing?
Why do people pick on singles just because they are?

I guess I'm just more offended that I thought I was... well, more than I would normally expect as I usually take this kind of crap with a stride.

I guess what's bugging me is not really the pressure I get for being single.
It's the attitude I've been getting for not dating.... People treating me as if I'm some mutant -- not in the cool Xmen way, but more in the deformed human with 8 heads, 40 fingers and 3 tails way.

People seem to be so engrossed in trying to identify what is wrong with me.
Why don't you just go and find the cure for AIDS? You should really spend your time on more useful things.

But nothing beats today.

And what the heck did she mean by : "Oh no... you're wrong. My case is not even remotely as bad as hers (i.e. Mine in this case). I'm in a much better position than her."
WTF?
Go to hell... , Miss Big-Hotshot-Oh-I'm-so-cool-and-smart-and-cute...
F off. You're not all that , ok?
I wish I could say that straight to her face.
The only problem is even if she were here, I'm not really allowed to say that to her for multiple reasons. Mostly not involving her though.

OK... I know I'm gonna regret it if I post this grumpy note. I'm almost regretting it right now.
But I couldn't care less at this moment.... I'm so fed up right now I would've screamed like nuts if only my gramps were not sleeping soundly in the next room.

I mean, it's already annoying that my parents criticize the way I talk, the way I walk, the way I drive, the way I go out on late saturday night "outings" with the few friends that I have, the way I look....

Can't tell my parents to buzz off though. They freakin' brought me to this world!!!

And I know they love me. They're just worried. They were raised to have a fixed picture of how life for their big little girl should be and it's not turning out the way it should be.

But what's the deal with this one biatch?

Seriously, I hate assholes who put people down just to make themselves feel better. GO TO HELL.

Good news: The professor who offered me a job got his grant proposal approved.
Bad news: Must really catch up on the statistic skills.
Good news: I have a whole month to do that since nothing will start until at least early July.
Bad news: I don't have anything else to do for a whole month!!!!
More bad news: This usually translate into MORE FAT!!!

I'm dead meat.

What to do... what to do??
Ladeedee.. Ladeeda..
Dumdeedeedeedeedum... deedeedum...deedeedeedeedum....

Anyway, the 2-day shopping excursion is killing my feet today.
I'm so tempted to throw away my new wooden clog with rubber soles... ( I know... they sound silly, but they seriously looked so good in the store).

So my plan to take a picture at 6.06 am or pm on 06/06/06 blew up.
I was fast asleep in the morning, too exhausted to get up early after spending the whole day shopping with my mom and aunt on Monday. In the afternoon, I was driving them around on their second round of shopping spree. ...

It's OK though.... I'm looking forward to 8 am of 08/08/08 now.... think it'll be a better number for me. My plan is basically still the same though.. Gonna try to find apt # 8-08 of block 8 or 88 in the city.
Boy would my dad love that....

Anyway, can't write too much this time. It's 11.30 and I need to get up at 4 am, to get ready and drive my parents to the airport.
Hope I don't doze off on the way back.

My mom's new hobby

My mom seems to have taken up travelling as a new interest of hers. After her two trips to US when I was still working there, she has recently decided to go on a China tour without my dad, just with her friends. She went up Huang shan without any help ( I heard there are people who can carry you up for a fee).If only you knew what she was like before, you'd be just as impressed as I am right now. Although I suspect her confidence might be slightly supported by the fact that my dad was in Shanghai at the time (so if anything happens, it will be easier for him to go and get her). It is seriously a huge change in her attitude towards travelling. And today, I've just found out that she's going to Hongkong with my dad next week!Way to go, Mom!

I'm really glad she's starting to travel. You see, my dad loves to travel. We used to joke that the reason he travels back and forth to Singapore is because he likes Changi and he likes the airlines' service.
However, my mom never liked travelling before. Regardless of how anyone tries to convince her how beautiful a particular place is, she would never budge. I suspect that has more to do with fear though. I think she was nervous about the idea of being away from her comfort zone, but anyway now that my mom seems to have managed to get over it and taken on more interests in travelling, then maybe it'll be easier to convince my parents to travel more. It's about time they enjoy themselves more after working so hard and busting their ass off for the whole family.

I hope they'd go to Japan this autumn. The pictures I've seen are so pretty and I bet they'd love the fall colors.

Anyway gotta run now. I have to meet my cousin to give her my belated b'day gift: A silver necklace with a real four-leave clover pressed inside the glass pendant for luck.

I hope she'll like it.
If not, there will be no more gifts from me in the future. haha...

Put Your Record On

I LUURVVE Corrine Bailey Rae's Put Your Record On!!!!

Long lost relatives

This afternoon was spent waiting for the agent to come with a potential buyer for my sis-in-law's condo. Well, not the whole afternoon....
Anyway, there was no cable service in the unit so I had to resort to local channels, but precisely for that reason, I stumbled upon my beloved show... the Gilmore Girls!

Words cannot express the joy that I felt.....
I sat there with my big-butt glued to the chair and only moved once to let the agent in. It was like seeing some long lost relatives again....
I have forgotten how much I miss the usual light-speed bantering between Lorelai and Rory, Luke with his scruffy looks, grumpy Michel, crazy Kirk, and kaypoh Emily Gilmore.
It's crazy how I'm referring to them as though they are my friends....

I need a life...

endless rambling

I finally got through my exams for this term. My last group paper was finalized and submitted last Saturday, after a farewell dinner that was not attended by the person leaving town (quite sad, actually....). Anyway he did show up for a round of beers with those of us who stayed for a second session at CQ. Afterwards, I was the only one who agreed to go with him to MOS (simply because he looked so depressed and could really use some fun). He reminded me of how I felt during my last days in Chi-town last year. I wonder if people picked up my horribly sad vibes .... I did my best to hide it, but after seeing how it was with this friend of mine, I supposed it was a futile attempt.

Overall, the past 4-month period has been quite fun. The highlight I suppose has gotta be the field trip. I wish we could do it all over again.
I can't believe I only have one more semester to go (hopefully...). After which, another final decision has to be made. Well, actually, it's gonna be made in the next few weeks I suppose.

I must say, with all that I've observed and gone through, I think I'm just a teeny-weeny bit more ready to go home.... Must admit I still have my reservations though. Just a couple of things I still can't let go of. A bit tough to do that, when it involves your dreams and your interests.

I will though, when the time comes. I will. I promise. I owe them at least that much.

For now, I'm just gonna focus on my to-do list for the next 2 days.
I've got so much to do: Gotta get a document notarized, be a cameraman this Sunday, after I shop for gifts ( YOU GIRLS HAD BETTER STOP PUMPING OUT BABIES!!! I'M GETTING BROKE HERE!!!YOU KNOW I CAN'T SAY NO TO THEM AND THEIR CHUBBY CHEEKS AND TOOTHLESS SMILES!!!!!). Afterwards, I'll still need to do some last-minute shopping for food stuff on Monday morning, before taking off on a flight back home in the afternoon.

One thing I really look forward though, aside from the trip, is the supper we're planning this Saturday. Hope it will be fun.

I'm a lazy ass!

Something struck me as I was driving home the other day.

It never occured to me before that the fact that I really enjoy driving might actually be a clear indication of how lazy I am. With all my complaints about what other things I could be doing with the time I spend waiting for and riding on the bus, I managed to trick myself into believing that I simply aim for more efficient use of my time or something within the line.

But you see, I've just realized that the reality could very likely be simply that I am so lazy that I just want to sit in a car and let the scenery change around me.

I want things to change without me doing anything but sit and watch.... Well, ok... perhaps maybe minor stuff like stepping on the accelerator? Hitting the brake once in a while?
MY GOSH!!!
I'm one damn-lazy ass!!!!

GEEZ!!!

Tomorrow is my last exam for this semester.
My brain is not working though and I don't know what to do. I have never felt this dumb before in my whole life... (well, except that one time in second grade... let's not even talk about it).
I have been calling my friends and bugging them with silly questions.
I wonder if I have some brain disorder, some disease... I don't know some virus is eating up my brain, perhaps?
I don't know why my brain is so not in tune right now...
Actually I don't know where my brain is right now. It's a wonder to me that I can actually still write this.
Alzheimer?
That's scary...
God help me tomorrow,.... please... pretty pretty please....

Brain crash

My brain had decided to crash on me.... just like a really beat-up computer. It has decided to quit and disregard any data entry from me.
I wish this was only my imagination... but it sure looks like it's for real...

Counting down

Starting count down now.... less than 60 hours away before my execution, i.e. the start of finals.
Instead of studying for it, I'm writing about counting down.
Great.
I can just picture my results now...

Eyes of Mordor

Is it just me or does this look like the "Eyes of Mordor" to you?

There's no need to answer...
And the answer to your question is yes, I am crazy about the LOTR. Not the book though. Can't seem to finish it hard as I try. I prefer my brother's collection of David Edding's Sparhawk. I mean Edding made him sounds like such a cool dude.

Anywho, I lurrrrrve LOTR the movie.
Somehow it's almost equal to all the HK gangster movies I used to watch when I was little. It's all Andy Lau's fault that in the 4th grade I told my dad I wanted to be a gangster with an AK47 and a really nice big flashy red bike....
I didn't realize I was gonna be doomed by getting banned from ever getting my hands on a real bike as a result. (Was never interested in any lady scooters....)

Geez... how did I digress so far ?? (Pretend to be surprised now....)

I guess... I like the idea of being in a kick-ass group and torture people. hahah.... neah... I think it's just the result from being the nerdy geek with very few friends in school. Think I just grew up wishing I belong to a certain group of some sort.

Anyway, the eyes of mordor was actually a failed attempt to capture the full moon a few days ago. I think my shaky hands are comparable to those of a 90 year old. I really have no idea why I tremble so much.
The one below is also another failure, but I don't care.... I like it, and that's what matters.














Star. Moon. Earth.

Moro

Earlier this month I took a trip back to the island where my maternal great grandparents used to live. I used to look forward to going to this place when I was little as I would be having so much fun there.
As Madonna would say, " This used to be my playground....."

So excited!
I watched one of the first episodes of Grey's Anatomy on Starworld today. I have actually seen it before, but anyway....finally something I can look forward to.
I didn't get a chance to keep track of this show when I was in Chicago. Maybe this time I can....
The bad news is...I'm gonna be away in about 3 weeks.
I hope my brother has it in his cable subscription back home.

By the way, I went to the temple yesterday by myself. It was quite an interesting experience.

Behind the scenes of my nightmare

GOSH....
Now I'm a bit relieved. Just realized that the nightmare I mentioned won't be part of any deja-vu, since it seems to be induced.
What I noticed with my dreams that turn in to deja-vus is that they usually don't have any events or occasions that I think could have induced them.

I think this nightmare came about because I dozed off listening to this discussion on Chicago's KissFM regarding the cases of unnecessary deaths... with this violence in the rap world ( in Detroit, I believe), the drag racing on State St (man,... I'm a bit worried for some of my old neighbours in my previous apartment building. I hope everyone's ok), people having problem getting emergency medical assistance from 911.

It was just so upsetting to listen to the recorded 911 calls, but I can't help but feel slightly for the operators. I mean, I wonder if they were just really having a bad day or stressed out about something and made a really bad call at work. Although the recordings really stressed me out, I kinda find it even more upsetting to hear some of the unbelieveable comments made by people who called in or messaged the radio: Among them a guy who insisted that it is their rights to drag race on a public street, saying that there's nothing anyone can do to stop them, and another who I think admitted to drag racing WITHOUT driving license?!?!? There was also a lady caller who cheerfully called in and kinda' suggested that it sorta' levels out the situation, comparing it to people who were killed in an accident involving LICENSED older drivers.WTH?!?!?!

I'm just upset.
I was involved in an accident before a few years ago. Luckily the person survived with a dislocated hip and minor injuries according to what the doctor told me. I remember crying the whole night that night.

I don't drag race. I might go beyond the speed limit once in a while nowadays on the expressway, but only when there is really the need to. Even then, it doesn't go to an absurd triple digit figure. And it definitely does not happen on a public street with pedestrians around.
I must make a note to myself to drive even more carefully in the future.

I guess it might be a good idea to try to remember this more often. I can't remember where I heard or read it, but it sure sounds Oprah-y to me:
Driving is a privilege, not a right.
Now I wonder if it came from some public service announcement. Geez... some really bad memory that I have. Wonder if my brain is running on some old pc from pre-pentium era....

My nightmare

A really bad nightmare woke me up just now.
It was a really bad one.... and it's a bit scary since some of the details are still freshly etched in my mind.
Actually it was one heck of a story, with two subplots that I don't think are related. One has a murder cover-up plot and one has a conspiracy theory thing involving more victims (GEEZ.... roomie! Look what your bf has done to me! And to think I only browsed through the websites he mentioned for a few brief minutes).
Going back to my dream-based dejavu, this is exactly why I don't like them. Hopefully no part of this won't turn out to be part of any future dejavu, since there was an old friend involved as one of the victims.
Hopefully this will be like one of my notorious nightmare of my whole family being captured and turned into zombies...
(Hey,... what can I say, I was 13, ok?!?!?).

If women ruled the world....

I got these in one of those chain e-mails, and I love them!!
I hope I don't get into trouble for not quoting the sources, as I have no idea where they came from originally.
Well, since the email suggested further sharing of these images, I figures posting them here would be more effective.

IF WOMEN RULED THE WORLD....


















































































































I must say, what a better world it would be.....

free lunch part deux

On hindsight, apparently the offer for free dinner was not directed to me.
(So embarassing...)
I just happened to be lucky enough that I have a weird name and someone remembered me. Must remember to thank my mom for this crazy idea of her ( the name, I mean).
Anyway, it was the best and most scrumptious dinner I've ever had.
D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S!
I would highly recommend this price to anyone, if not for the tab which I did not get to see, although I doubt I want to know....
Anyway, as we were saying during dinner, it's really a good place to go if you want to impress your future or potential in-laws.
YUM.YUM.YUM. Three YUMs Up!

Free lunch

When someone who used to keep saying there's no such thing as a free lunch offers you a free dinner instead.
Should you be suspicious?

Blast from the past part deux

One of the buildings I miss the most...














I got distracted on my way home from class one evening, and here's the reason. I like this picture because it looks like there's some exorcism work going on on the top of the JH building.
















I wish they could splurge on tulips like these over here.....
















Didn't really want to include this one, but I just really love this picture my friend took of me at one of the gift shops in Galena. Especially since one he is in the picture, without noticing it himself. hahaha.....thanks for taking the picture, and it does really look good on you, gir!
hehehehe.... Anyway, what I really like about the picture is the word on the tiara. In case you can't see it, it says: Bachelorette.

I'm obsessed

I'm in love!

I'm in love!

I'm in love....
with pink guava!

hahaha....

sorry for the possibly misleading statement,but I'm seriously in love. Close to being obsessed actually....

The thing is nobody in my family even eats guava, I think. And hard as I try for the past 2 days, I can't figure out when the first time was that I gave it a try. I know it was not that long ago, but I can't remember....

Geez! Talk about some short memory span....

Blast from the Past

I finally transferred the pictures on my cell phone the other day.
Can't help but feel all nostalgic ....











A once very familiar view from outside the window at work...












I remember clearly how I used to look forward to any movement from this side of the platform...












It's not a very good picture due to the low resolution, but there was huge rainbow over Lake Michigan, taken while riding in the back seat of my friend's car....











This picture of the church on Dearborn was taken on my way home from my French class. The whole downtown was covered in soot-like snow flakes. Tons of nice,tiny, light and dry snow flakes that float in the air beautifully instead of those wet and heavy ones that just fall flat on the ground *splat*.












The park across the street...












and the view from yet another familiar "El" platform , as what I would see when I used to go for a dose of "mango freeze with pearl".... yup, even during winter....

Bright shiny object -- not UFO.

On our way home from lunch last Sunday, I ran out of topics to bring up to my aunt (My uncle is an awfully quiet guy), so I was just looking out the window, trying to catch any interesting building that people might bring up in class next time.
Offices... trees...offices...trees...condos..trees....condos....trees...HDB flats...HDB flats...tr..WTH!!?!?!
Somewhere along the way, there was a piece of a shining white thing under the bright scorching sun. Couldn't really make out what it was the first few seconds...
Good thing my uncle doesn't really drive that fast... not as fast as my aunt used to, at least.... so I had the chance to do a double take.
It took me a few seconds, what with the other cars blocking my view....
Geez....!!!
It was an uncle (old guy in the local context), stripped down to his speedos, lying down on the grass by the expressway and trying to soak all the UVs he can get.
NOT trying to be discriminating (hey, who am I to judge?), but it's just such a WRONG picture that I don't think I can list enough reasons why it's just so wrong:

• Think I'd make sure I have a more acceptable belly in terms of its size before I start any exhibitionist move like that.
• Think I'd prefer a dead-body pose than his cleopatra-wih-bulging-belly-looking-at-the-sun pose.
• Why, oh why? Why the banana-hammock (can finally use one of the words from NC) for God's sake? Can't a bermuda do?
• Such shiny and temporarily blinding distraction can be a hazard to the drivers on the highway . He should've come up with a traffic warning sign: Non-UFO blinding shiny object ahead!
• Uh, hello, uncle??? Have you heard of skin cancer?
• As I'm currently studying real estate: Location, Location, LOCATION! Why the expressway of all places in the world? Hello?!!?!? Heard of the word pollution before?

I don't know... I think I haven't fully recovered from this traumatizing experience. I'm just glad my niece and nephew were not there to ask their regular "What is he/she/it doing?". I wouldn't have the slightest clue what to tell them.

An insomniac's note

Just woke up after catching up on my beauty sleep.
Another one down in school, six more papers to go....
I think our group did quite a kill today, so I guess the six bucks something that I paid for the starbucks iced latte was worth the 3o hour effect after all.

BEP or Sinatra

I am not familiar with all his songs but I like how Frank Sinatra sounds so much better in the cool evenings, especially with snow falling outside your window.....
Looking for some "cooling-down" effect, I tried to play the songs just now. It's just not the same, though, to listen to the songs in the scorching day-time weather in the tropics. Not even remotely the same effect....
Guess I'll stick with my BEP for now....

A completely googlized google-head!

I LURRRRRVVVE GOOGLE!!!

Gmail, Google Talk, Google Chat, Google Desktop, Google Earth.
You name it, I like it!Especially Gmail and Google Desktop.....I seriously can't picture life without google now.
What a google-head!

I hate cancer.

Within a week, I've received two bad news of the same kind. Two of my friends have lost their dads.
And what makes me feel bad is not being able to be there for them. I tried calling one of them but it's really quite awkward... not sure what to tell her. I just wish I could be there to hold her hands. I think she would need that more than words.
The other friend actually lost her father a few weeks ago, but I only heard of it about 2 days ago. This time, again it's the damn cancer.
I HATE CANCER!!!!!!!!!
I never got to meet this father of my friend. However, from her stories, I could tell that he was a really sweet, and funny dad... like those that you see in the movies. He had a chicken farm raising chicks that kindergartens couldn't keep anymore. He had a very nice pear tree and I had a taste of some of the harvest once. They were some of the nicest pears I've ever had. He also helped a divorced niece take care of 4 kids. He just sounded like a really nice grampa, just like my paternal grampa....

I hate cancer.