Time: January 29th 2007 , 4.50 pm
Place: A living room in one corner of this blip on the blue planet.

IT'S THE PHONE CALL I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR FOR THE PAST 2 MONTHS!

Let's see how it goes on Friday then.... I'm keeping my fingers (and toes) crossed (real hard).
I can't believe I actually heard back from them, but who knows.... ^_^

Btw, thanks to my trainer's idea, I have managed to succesfully gained some beautiful bruises on my elbow. By now I really can't help but suspect that he is actually enjoying watching me hurt myself, even just for a bit.

Get(ting) real, .... or at least trying to

As if it's not bad enough that one's heart is beyond the jurisdiction of one's brain, I can't even get my brain to control my mind. So now my heart and my mind are in cahoots and my brain is left with no allies. No wonder one of my best gal pals always tells me that I live to torture myself.

Assuming that what I have been hearing a lot lately is true, that my idealistic approach will never get me anywhere in life (i.e. "GET REAL!"), I thought the time had come for me to really sort out the load of junk in my life: Time to sort out my fantasies, dreams, ambitions, and reality. However, I'm finding it extremely hard to do, though..... exactly for the above reason.
One is a 22-year old dream (although it was stuffed away in closet for the past 6 years) and the other is an ongoing wish cum 10-yr old fantasy (also stuffed away in the darkest corner of the closet for the past few years).

Realistically, I should really throw everything out the door. But when you have lived with these dreams and fantasies for so long, they kinda' form part of your identity (albeit a confused one, in my case). I suppose getting rid of it might be like Cindy Crawford finding out that her mole needs to be removed for health reasons, or Hugh Grant losing his tousled hair overnight, Julia Roberts or Angelina Jolie getting a procedure to reduce the size of her lips. I mean, remember Enrique Iglesias? I bet you do.... at least the original version with the mole. Boy I bet he misses the mole now.

*Sigh*
Well, anyway it's not like I don't want to do what's necessary. It's just so darn hard!
I'm telling myself I'll just have to take one step at a time..... Lemme see what I can start with....
Oh I know!
*lightbulb moment*

Maybe I'll start by..... ............pampering myself with enough sleep : )

P.s. I haven't got the faintest idea what the heck Rain is saying in his song "I do", but somehow the song can always help brighten up my crappy days.

Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down
Oh I'll never know what makes this man
With all the love that his heart can stand
Dream of ways to throw it all away
Oh Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down
Oh twice as much aint twice as good
And can't sustain like a one half could
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees
Oh gravity, stay the hell away from me
And gravity has taken better men than me you see now how can that be?
Just keep me where the light is
Just keep me where the light is
Keep you all where the light is
Just keep us where the light is
Ohh.. where the light is!

-Gravity (John Mayer)-

Btw, where do you draw the line between simply having a good network and nepotism/cronyism?(hope I got the spelling right)

I'm really loving this couple on the Amazing Race - Asia show: Syeon Park and Andrew Tan.
I know it could very well be just a well-edited show that just happens to work in their advantage, but I really love watching how sweet this couple seem to be.
Andrew seemed to have been portrayed as slightly pushy and bossy in the beginning, but they seem to be showing more of his good sides in the later episodes.
I was quite impressed at how patient yet in control Andrew was in one episode, when Syeon seemed to be getting a bit whiny: " Baby, ... I know you're tired, but can you please do it?". There was no sign of annoyance in his tone at all.
I really hope they win the race.

Anyway I just spent the past 20 minutes watching some videos of my youngest niece.
My goodness.... when I saw her around Chinese new year last year, she was just like a doll. Couldn't do anything at the time except maybe cry and smile a bit occasionally.
And she's a full blown toddler now.

One of those days again when I feel so darn old.

Dang! How did I get here?

Breakfast: Muesli & oat milk
At the gym: 30 mins on treadmill, 1 hr of kick-fit.

My sweet sis-in-law sms-ed me and tried to call me several times while I was at the gym. Got an sms from my buddy, Mr Bunny, on my way to the gym.Dad also sent me an sms. Initially thought Mom had forgotten (as usual), but she called me later, put everyone at the office on speaker phone and they sang me the birthday song, which was kinda' sweet in a cheesy way. Also heard from some good friends from all over the place: DC, Oakbrook and home.

Lunch: SUSHI!!!! Don't care even if it's only supermarket sushi. I LOVE IT! And I think I'm fully entitled to a decent b'day meal :P

Afternoon: Found a long lost classmate from secondary school. I'm quite impressed that he still remembers my full name, although it is quite embarassing that the one thing he remembers the most about me was how we used to argue with each other.

Dinner: The most sinful dinner I have had for quite a while now, but I just didn't have the heart to say no to this dear aunt of mine who went through all the trouble. Plus the fact that it's also her husband's b'day..... (So, happy b'day, Uncle Charlie!)

So there you go..... 365 days and counting down to the end of my 20s (as one of my seniors from undergrad reminded me just now). I guess I should say it to myself now and try to accept the reality that the dreadful day is finally here:















(grabbed this from some website coz I love it! Hope I won't get into trouble....)

Waiting for a change

Had an IM session with Miss M just now.
She pointed out an interesting thing:
Although all of us (i.e. the Dearborn plus club) split up and went on our own paths, somehow we ended up at the same spot:
Waiting for a change.

what goes around, comes around....

OK...
I guess it's payback time.
The series of roundhouse kicks I had to do today have landed me with a seriously bruised-up shin, even after my trainer took off his shin pad.
My goodness.... not sure how I am supposed to do it all over again on Wednesday.

what's on TV

I stumbled upon this while browsing another blog.
What the hell is going on with Paula Abdul?
I mean I am aware that she's been getting weirder and weirder for a while now, but what's going on this time?
Is she starting her own reality show any second now? A somewhat Anna Nicole-wannabe perhaps?

Oh, and I noticed how girls got all fired up and went all ga-ga over Wentworth Miller (I only saw some pictures of him but never caught the show he's in). Then everyone suffered a blow after the news that he's gay.
I mean.... come on? Don't tell me that anyone would be surprised about such a thing?
I'm not a fan but, but shouldn't it have been quite obvious?
To be honest, I think I would be more surprised (read: impressed) if such a good-looking guy turns out to be straight all along....

Unbelievable...
One more thing to add to the list of silly things I've done:
Drove from where I live here on the west side of the island, all the way to the airport on the east end of the island.
Purpose? None.

mayday... mayday...

My brain is turning into mush!
I'm trying to salvage any remaining part that is still usable.
Please keep your fingers crossed for me....

Kicking balls

Today was the first time ever I've kicked a guy in the balls. Literally. :P
And the victim was..... my poor trainer.

lol
Serves him right though, for insisting on having me do the push-kick, even after I told him I can't reach the height that he wanted me to do.

It was kinda' awkward for a split second after it happened but I couldn't help but burst out laughing afterwards.
Especially after I did it... the second time.
lol
He then jokingly warned me that he still wants to celebrate Father's day in the future.

SO funny. ... I mean I do feel sorry coz I really didn't mean to (of course), and he's a really, really NICE guy. Wasn't mad at me or anything at all when it happened. I hope he will get to celebrate Father's days with at least a dozen of kids in the future.

I must say though.... it feels so damn good to get to kick somebody :P

Oh and today, I had my very first Subway after 1.5 years.
I know... I'm supposed to be watching what I eat, but I was really hungry. And I just happened to walk pass by Subway. And I remembered Jared, the subway guy (wonder if I got the spelling right).
Then the devil inside me thought: Shouldn't be that bad right? I mean... Jared still managed to lose weight, didn't he?
Besides, it was like 2.5 hrs past lunchtime and I was really starving.
So there I was, munching on my toasted chicken teriyaki on honey oat with teary eyes.
I was quite impressed how it tastes exactly the same as the ones I used to have in Chicago. Except somehow the chicken is so much softer (almost mashed up compared to the ones I used to have). One thing though, was totally, completely consistent: The crappy service.

My plateau

I'm hitting a plateau, and my trainer wants me to run for an hour every day....
It's not like I don't want to do it, but I can't even do 2 minutes without stopping to catch my breath.
Sometimes I wonder what the heck is wrong with my lungs that I have such a terribly short breathing. I mean, even people with worse weight problem than me seems to be handling it much better than I do.
Don't tell me that those crappy cigarettes that I once upon a time enjoyed (for a really short period of time) did this to me?

Anyway, I'm starting a 4-times a week training program. I just got home around 8.30 pm and I have to be back there tomorrow by 9 am. My trainer also told me he would arrange for a free membership upgrade that would allow me to go every day, instead of 4 days/week, which I have been using as an excuse not to work out every day.
(I wonder if that means I really, really have to do it now ^_^)

Anyway, my trainer told me that his other client, a rather well-known local designer, has managed to lose more weight than I have, eventhough he started later than me.

So, I'm trying to hypnotize the lazy little biatch in me into thinking: MUST NOT LOSE TO THIS GUY!

So, I'm setting my own target now:
5 kg loss by the end of the month.

Seriously doubt I can make it happen, but why settle for low target that won't get me anywhere right? Might as well try to go for the big bang. Now,... if I can just somehow make myself more disciplined in watching what I eat .

F.O.O.L

Tragedy plus time equals comedy.

My roommate was the first one who told me this, and I fell in love with this aphorism right away.

Ever since that day, whenever I'm feeling down (like today), I try to tell myself that I will get over it before I even know it. I try to remind myself to look forward to that one day when I'll look back and have a good laugh about all of this.

I must say though... that it's getting harder and harder to convince myself nowadays.

Sometimes I'm just amazed at what a big fool I am...
I mean, what else can you say to describe a person who continuously inflicts pain on him or herself?
F.O.O.L.... that's it.

Well, either that or a masochist, I suppose..... ^_^

Just wondering...

You walk pass by a place that looks and feels like your dream home from the outside, but then you find out that it is totally beyond your means.

Do you:
a. Knock on the door and try to get a look at the place? Maybe see if you can somehow strike a bargain?
b. Just marvel at the place from the outside for a while before heaving a sigh and reluctantly walking away, occasionally turning around to steal another look at the place.
c. Fuhgedaboutit.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Or, as my roommate reminded me:
d. Start laying out a plan to build your own dream home.

Another encounter with men in uniforms

Time: 3.30 am
Location: A blip on the blue island

I could've sworn I heard the door bell, but then again I might be dreaming.
There it goes again. You've got tons of imagination, I told myself.
Third time. Is it for real? Must be... You're not that creative, I told myself.
Fourth time. Is it Dad? No, he's not coming till this afternoon. Can't be....
Then who the heck is this nut case?

In seriously bed-tousled hair and half-opened eyes,upsetly walked to the door and took a peek.
Only saw 2 guys' faces.

Opened door: Yes?

Only then did I notice the uniforms. One of them mumbled a name, which I really couldn't hear, to which I replied that I thought they must've gotten the wrong address.
He took a look at his note and read out a license plate number.

SHIT, I thought.

"The car alarm has been going on and off for the past 4 hours, Mam. "

I apologized right away and scurried away for the keys. In the elevator, they told me that the car's ok and it was locked. Only the interior light was on.

Phewh.... what a relief....

Phai seh lah.... I really didn't realize it. Gosh, now I'm worried about the car battery. I guess it's a good thing I cancelled off my apppointment for tomorrow morning.

Then on my nerve-wrecking walk back home (coz I was afraid I might get rotten eggs or tomatoes dropped on me from some of the flats), after giving the men my cell phone number in case something goes wrong again, I was thinking: The poor people who couldn't sleep because of the alarm.... I really feel bad for them but I dunno whom to apologize to.
So phai seh lah...

Then in the elevator ride back up, it hit me: How come it took 4 hours before I get the notice?
Did people actually put up with such a crazy thing for that long? Or did the officers really need that much time to respond?
I'm sorry but I guess after my first encounter with their colleagues, I really didn't appreciate the squad that much.
I hope it was for the first reason.

Either way, from the bottom of my heart, I would like to apologize to people in this tiny island who couldn't sleep on the second evening of the new year due to my absent-mindedness.
I promise, I'l try really really really hard to not let such a thing happen again.
May your patience be awarded with loads and loads of good things to come in this new year.

Cheers!

Back to sleep....

P.s. I wish I could come up with my case studies as fast as I could come up with a post for this blog of mine.

New year's resolution

Finding out that you were wrong about something can sometimes be such a good feeling.

Anyway, is there really a need for new year's resolutions?
I didn't have much time to come up with a list for the year, so I've decided that I will only have one set of resolution that I will be using each year from now on, which is:

I will start.

Old & New

This was an impressively quiet New Year's Eve.
For 4 consecutive years before last year, New Year's Eve was a pretty much standard operation for FUN. Last year was spent back home with my family. Although with two toddlers, my sis-in-law and my brother was in no mood to stay up late, at least I was home.
Most importantly, it was not quite.... at all. With the amount of illegal fire crackers that were unleashed around the block, I was even starting to get nervous, thinking that I had somehow got myself stranded in some war zone.

This year, however.... was totally the opposite.
Silent Night couldn't have been more appropriate as a theme song for the night.
Just me, my notebook, the stack of material for my assignment, my hand phone(which had turned into some sort of gallery for Hallmark-card kind of wishes), and .... the quiet reservoir.
There was almost no wind, so the water was almost perfectly still.

Somebody made me really miserable, and bugged as hell for a while coz I didn't expect to get that miserable.

My sis-in-law called to wish me happy new year since I'm one hour ahead of her.

Then the new year came.

Suzie was the first one to sms me right after midnite.
Mom followed with confirmation of the annual illegal firecracker competition around the block at home.

Wished for a second that I had some champagne or even just plain nice girly beer to celebrate the new year. Just me, myself and I.

Anyway, life goes on...
New year. New calendar on the wall.New (older) age to put in forms (well, technically still got some time before that happens).
Same old life. Same old me. Same old world.