As if it's not bad enough that one's heart is beyond the jurisdiction of one's brain, I can't even get my brain to control my mind. So now my heart and my mind are in cahoots and my brain is left with no allies. No wonder one of my best gal pals always tells me that I live to torture myself.
Assuming that what I have been hearing a lot lately is true, that my idealistic approach will never get me anywhere in life (i.e. "GET REAL!"), I thought the time had come for me to really sort out the load of junk in my life: Time to sort out my fantasies, dreams, ambitions, and reality. However, I'm finding it extremely hard to do, though..... exactly for the above reason.
One is a 22-year old dream (although it was stuffed away in closet for the past 6 years) and the other is an ongoing wish cum 10-yr old fantasy (also stuffed away in the darkest corner of the closet for the past few years).
Realistically, I should really throw everything out the door. But when you have lived with these dreams and fantasies for so long, they kinda' form part of your identity (albeit a confused one, in my case). I suppose getting rid of it might be like Cindy Crawford finding out that her mole needs to be removed for health reasons, or Hugh Grant losing his tousled hair overnight, Julia Roberts or Angelina Jolie getting a procedure to reduce the size of her lips. I mean, remember Enrique Iglesias? I bet you do.... at least the original version with the mole. Boy I bet he misses the mole now.
*Sigh*
Well, anyway it's not like I don't want to do what's necessary. It's just so darn hard!
I'm telling myself I'll just have to take one step at a time..... Lemme see what I can start with....
Oh I know!
*lightbulb moment*
Maybe I'll start by..... ............pampering myself with enough sleep : )
P.s. I haven't got the faintest idea what the heck Rain is saying in his song "I do", but somehow the song can always help brighten up my crappy days.
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