One special exam question

I just had to write this down before I forget. My memory span is getting shorter and shorter everyday.

In order to learn the English language, I remember we had to rely on private courses as English was not part of the curriculum back home when I was in primary school.

My parents scrimped and saved so my brother and I could take those private English courses. To this day, I think my brother still hates me for causing him to have to take those lessons, as my parents insisted he had to accompany me. I remember for the first few years, I was always the youngest in the class. Most of my classmates used to be 2-5 years older than me.

I suppose maybe that's why the teacher had problem coming up with a question for me - the class baby - during our oral exam. Of the few questions that he asked, there was this one that I think will be the only exam question I'll remember clearly from my 20+ years as a student

As a 10-year old kid, I was asked: "Which do you think is better, to love or to be loved? "

In the current context, this might not have been such a weird question for a 10-yr old, but considering that this was quite a while ago.... I'm still quite amused now when I think of it.

Anyway, I remember answering promptly: "To be loved, of course."

"Why?", the teacher asked.

I remember smiling awkwardly, thinking "Heck! What kind of exam is this?", and then responding:
"Because if you love someone, that doesn't always mean that the person will love you back. But to be loved by someone,... then you don't have to worry about anything...."

I think up until recently I still believed in the essence of what I said that day, but ever since I came to study here in this island I've seen a very good example, literally in front of me, on why I couldn't have been more wrong.

I guess to be loved isn't necessarily better than to love, even if the other party loves you to death (and back... creepy! hahaha). And I'm sure one won't be in such a better position the other way around either: to love someone to death without reciprocating response from the other end. Obviously, the latter I was smart enough to figure out by the time I was 10.

I wanna be an AB!!

I found out about this Japanese Blood Type Personality Theory on Wikipedia from Kenny Sia's website.

According to this theory,

• My best traits should be:
  Conservative, introverted, reserved, patient, punctual, perfectionist and good with plants, and
• My worst traits should be:
  Obsessive, stubborn, self conscious, and uptight.

It's ridiculous, 'cause I can only relate to the bad traits and none of the good ones.

But that's only half of what made me a tad upset. According to the theory,I share the same blood and personality type with
George H. W. Bush, Ayumi Hamasaki, O. J. Simpson, Britney Spears, Alan Alda, Adolf Hitler, Lyndon B. Johnson, and Richard Nixon.

Well, ain't it just great!?!?

Now, not only do I not have any of the good traits, now I am in the same group as Bush, O.J. "the gloves", Hitler and not to mention Mrs. Federline!

Geez....I'm speechless...

I'm kinda' happy today that (again) it's almost ridiculous.

Although I think it has a lot to do with my (three musketeer+1) lunch, I think it's the bonus part that really made my day today.

I didn't realize how great it would make me feel to know that somebody actually spent about an hour going through my blog in the wee hours of the nite and read through the kind of crap that I posted. Even more so, to know that I have caused or perhaps have indirectly caused the person's splitting headache at work the day after (although he politely blamed his own case of insomnia for this).

HAHAHAHAHA.....

If you're ever back to visit this crappy blog again,..... thanks for making my day, Uncle!^_^
On hindsight, I think you're kinda' right.... I do tend to ask too many questions, I suppose.

One messed up tongue

Some of my friends don't understand why it is such a big deal for me, but I'm seriously annoyed by my English.

You see, growing up, I've had quite a few English teachers with various background, and of course various accents and all. Aside from the numerous Indonesian teachers at school, with various accents (including a really stern, yet sweet and funny Ms. Adoe with a touch of British accent in her speech), I've also had at least two Indian teachers (also with a slight British influence in their English), and last but not least several American teachers.

So you see, it's no wonder my English became a hotchpotch of things.

You see, I say trunk and not boot. I like colours better than colors. Same thing with neighbours. I used to check the cheque amount whenever I received any. The food is slightly burnt, but not completely spoiled. I'm not crazy about math, so I don't see the need to have it in multiple dose as the British do maths. I do the American urbanization and realization, but I prefer the British centres and theatres.I use queue and line interchangeably,and I also do both truck and lorry, depending on the type of vehicles, usually with the latter describing those gigando ones. Well at least nowadays I think I tend to stick to a single way in my pronunciation of tomato, garage and dance.

In short, as you can see, I'm just a total mess.
Now, won't you be upset if you were in my shoes?

Picture perfect.... NOT

Have you ever stumbled upon some pictures (not even an old one) in one of your folders, and go "WHOA!!!! My gosh ... That's hideous!!", while looking at the sight of yourself in the picture.

Well, I just did.

What are you supposed to do when you find such a thing? Dump in the trash because you don't like what you see? Wouldn't that be some kind of denial though?

I'm actually considering printing it out in super duper large size and displaying it on my wall, so that it will be the first thing I see every morning. Maybe then it'll remind me to do something about it...whatever it is that I don't like to see. That-thing-which-must-not-be-named.

Wonder if that will just drive me into depression or if that will be my wake-up call....

Another rambling session

Listening to Earl Klugh's Till the End of Time as I write this. One of the few songs that are just loaded with fun memories for me.
(Thanks, roomie!).
I can almost see the vibrant colours of the fall foliage with my eyes closed. The blue sky over the lake. The view from the interstate highways from our drives to the suburbs. The river with horny mallards.
Hahahaha....

Cosi Noodle's Crispy pad thai. Chipotle's Chicken fajita burito bol. Oak Street Beach. Frozen ass in the bitterly cold winter wind. Dearborn.Red maple leaves. The Roland-Ron-Bobby-Gabriel team. Clark / Division. Water Tower. Esquire (first time going to a movie alone). Mag Mile. Stinky trains. Ashland. Wood. Oak. Maple. Elm. Treasure Island. Ace Hardware. Loew's. 90/94. 1130.1309.312.Washington-Monroe-Jackson.Daley Plaza. Museum Campus. Skokie. Evanston. Flurries (Omigosh, I almost forgot what it's called). Sleet. Slush. Wind chill. Daily dose of Jay Leno and Ellen. My Netflix subscription. Empire. Pizano. Corner Bakery's corn chowder. Land of Lincoln.

I'm so afraid I'll wake up one day and forget.
It's silly,...... I know.
By the way, I just noticed how things start and end with food.
Hahahaha

A friend just asked me, where my heart is.
Scattered brain, I had no real answer.
You see, I'm a homeless person looking for a home.

One baby step at a time

Went for my very first yoga class ever this morning.
One baby step at a time....
I hope, no... I suppose I should say I WILL stick with it.

(Repeating to self: Be a pretzel... be a pretzel... Pretend to be one, at least.)

Must concentrate on getting the abdominal breathing right now....or maybe in my case it should be called belly breathing instead.

My insanity

"The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results."

-Albert Einstein-

Happy Planet

I really like how Indonesia is ranked higher in the Happy Planet Index than some highly developed countries.
Despite the fact that I wished it was meant to be an indicator of the happiest countries in the world rather than what it realy is, I couldn't agree more with the statement in the report that there are different routes to achieving comparable levels of well-being.

Hamburger vs Pretzel

Bad news: The yoga class I signed up for was cancelled!
Darn it....!! (huffing and puffing in madness)
...
Oh well... It wasn't meant to be, I suppose (back to the default couch potato mode).....

Good news: There's another class that might just survive the low take-up rate, and I signed up for that one instead.
(Keeping my fingers crossed)

I seriously can't picture myself doing yoga though. There's no way a hamburger can pass for a pretzel, is there?

I bet I'll have such a good (and humiliating) time laughing at myself. It's either that or we'll end up with somebody getting transported by an ambulance to a nearby ER: It's either gonna be me for a case of locked limbs (instead of locked jaws) or the instructor for high blood pressure after trying to teach me one of those sun salutation poses.

We'll see how it goes then.... I hope I'll make it to class. It's been a while since the last time I've been this excited about anything.

I had one of those weird dreams of mine again last night. I vaguely remember snippets of it, but I remember overall it was quite odd. Potential dejavus or just mixed-up memories? Only time will tell, I guess....

Field trip to airport

I drove my mom and niece to the airport today. We spent a bit more time there as we got there a bit early. Initially, it was just another day at the airport.

What caught my attention later was this bunch of primary school students that are split up into several groups of roughly 20 kids each. They were running around, trying to out-talk each other at the top of their lungs, jumping up and down on the temporary platform leading to the skytrain and making tons of noise.
At first, it was kinda cute.. . But after being squeezed in the skytrain with at least 40 of these dennis-the-menaces, I started feeling sorry for the leaders of the groups(or teachers, I dunno.....), who didn't look like they're anything older than 21. I bet they felt like strangling those kids.

I think one could kinda tell the difference though, between those who seem to hold it just fine, still holding some kids' hands, checking on some them and making sure they're comfortable inside the super air-conditioned halls, while walking together with them, as opposed to other who simply look as if they're trying to lose a detective that's been tailing them.

Anyway, after while (trust me,.... they were everywhere), I started feeling sorry for the kids. I mean, as much as airports can be an interesting place, I think the field trips I went on in my school days were much more interesting. Of course there was the typical zoo trip, but the field trip I went on to the huge botanic garden and the zoological museum also involved an hour drive out of town. It also involved a visit to one of the country's 3 presidential palaces with deers around in the palace yard. There was another trip to a volcano that involved a 4-hr drive to another city. I actually went on 2 field trips to the volcano and both times I traced the path down the crater with my friends, where some of my friends boiled duck eggs in what looked like puddles of boiling water. It stank as hell from all the sulfur released by the volcano, but we had such a great time (The crater has since been closed due to increased volcano activity, I believe. Either that or they just didn't know better then to have let us hiked up and down the crater). There was also a stop at one of the hot springs in the area. A shorter drive from the city than the volcano would be the tea plantations, which used to be so much colder back then before all the pollution. There's also a safari park which is kinda like a drive-in zoo, where you can make fun of all the sleepy lions and giraffes, touch a llama's nose that's wedged in a small gap on your car window looking for more carrots, gawk at the size (and smell) of an elephant's poo, and have pictures taken of you holding a baby white tiger.

I'm thinking of all the tuitions, music lessons, swimming lessons, drama classes, etc that these noisy kids have to go through.

Now I feel bad for those kids. I think I got a way, way better deal than them.

Polite Singaporean kids

I was really impressed today.
My impression of nerdy, innocent-looking Singaporean boys and girls is gone for good today.

I was driving some of my relatives to the home of another relative in Bukit Batok. With the number of passengers I had to carry, I decided to borrow my Uncle's van instead. I have driven the thing a few times before but although I made it just fine, I must admit that my aunt's Lancer is definitely an easier pet to handle.

Anyway, trying to negotiate my way around a really tight corner spot (and making sure I stay as close as possible to the wall so I won't be blocking anyone's way), apparently a young Chinese boy from a car who was blocked for probably around 20 seconds by my van yelled: " F*ck you! Don't even know how to park ah?!?"

The boy got away as I did not hear it, but my cousins who were standing nearby trying to make sure I don't add another dent (by my cousin) on the van, caught it loud and clear alright.

What impressed me the most though was not the boy, as I believe kids are really fast in picking up bad things from their surroundings. What I found really impressive was how the parents who were right there with him did not make a single comment.

I was hunting for the boy while walking to my relative's block.

I wanted to tell him to go and f**k his parents instead as they're doing such a terrible job in raising him, there's a chance he might be better off at some Home for juvenile delinquents.

What's in a name (of a place)?

I'm sure some people might not get why I would find this amusing, but I do.

A while ago, after taking my grandpa for a visit to the doctor's, my cousin and I were told to drive my grandparents to a certain hawkers' centre supposedly quite well-known for its satay beehon.

My aunt insisted that all I had to do was to tell my cousin to drive us to the spot in Ang-suah that they used to go to.
Relaying the message to my cousin who claimed he was not good in any Chinese dialect despite having parents who mainly communicate in Chinese, the response I got was: " Oh... you mean Bukit Merah ah?"

Now for those of you who are not bilingual in Indonesian/ Malay and any Chinese dialect, Bukit Merah in Indonesian/ Malay can be literally translated as Ang-suah in Teochew/ Hokkien.

So I didn't hesitate at all:" Uh huh.... "
"Your mom said it's the place you guys used to go to a lot for satay beehoon." I added.

Then off we go....

Except when I got there, I was quite sure that we were not at the right place as I had also been there once a few months back. I tried to convince my cousin that we were at the wrong place.

The debate was ended with a quick phone call to my aunt, and everything was solved with my cousin waving his hand in annoyance and exclaimed:

"Haiyaaaa!!! That's Redhill laaaahh....!!!"

I feel like crap.
Today started when I woke up with this darn pain in my throat. Couldn't swallow anything. Not even water.
Wasted $30 to get some antibiotics from a nearby GP, which is something I don't usually do for such a trivial thing as sore throat. Last time I took any antibiotics was at least almost 2 years ago I believe. But this one was a killer.

Anyway, it's just that I have tons of things to do. I need to clean up my room as this place is gonna be the HQ for the next few days. We're gonna be packed like sardines for at least a week. I need to be the driver for the next few days, picking up people from Harbourfront. Grandpa's b'day dinner is scheduled to be this saturday. And I have that thing going on on Sunday (Keeping my fingers crossed).

With those kids running around, I definitely don't want my virus to be spreading around.

Gosh, I hope this thing goes away soon, before they get here.

U-turns

Over after-lunch coffee today, a friend told me that it's okay to make U-turns along the way.
An interesting point....

I feel so bad for complaining about being bored to everyone.... including to a friend who has to deal with a member of his family's health condition. I really didn't know the situation when I chatted with him and I still know very little now.

I really should start shutting up one of these days.

one lazy sunday

Today was definitely a family day for me. The morning was spent at home with my relatives, with a treat of my aunt's homemade mee-siam. Afterwards, it was shopping time with my granma and my aunt, followed by a movie with my little cousins. I decided to give them a treat to the movies on their last sunday before the school starts tomorrow.
Not sure if the choice of the Omen was a good move, but heck... the youngest one in the group was the only one who did not respond (at all) to the typical sudden attacks of (slightly) creepy images in the movie.
It was actually a tad disturbing to see how he wasn't disturbed at all by the movie.

I had a snack at Pepper Lunch (or at least I think that's the name of the place) before the movie, and I loved their Shake! Shake! Salad, or whatever it is they call it, which is basically just a small serving of salad in a clear plastic cup with a lid. All three types have a bit of udon at the bottom.
I tried the seaweed salad, and it's really quite nice. At the very least, it's definitely a good change from the other salads I've found here with the typical creamy dressing.
Looking forward to try the other two.

Hm.... I wonder if I stand a better chance keeping track of my salad hunt than my weird cabby rides, which have been seriously depleting in frequency since I'm not back in school yet and thus can still "steal" my aunt's car from her when she's not going to her classes.

One of my best friends asked about my plan and whether or not I have considered going back to US.

Gosh.... I think I can come up with at least a 5000-word paper as the answer.
On second thought, maybe two words will do:
Dream on...

Happiness is a matter of choice. Either you choose to be happy or you don't.

Great! It's just bloody great then!
As if the whole idea of the month of the hungry ghost is not enough to make me nervous.... this year we have a double shot of it:
Two servings of the seventh month according to the Chinese lunar calendar.

Great!
I can just picture sequels of the horror movies from previous years are gonna be popping up all over the island, with titles like the Maid Returns, the Eye (again). Wonder if they'll follow the path of King Kong vs. Godzilla and probably come up with What to Wear: the Red Shoes vs. the Ring.

Maybe I should go to the temple one of these days....and ask for one of those protective charms.

In the mean time, I'm just gonna train myself not to turn around when I hear someone calling from behind. Hope it works.

Singapore City tour

I spent today with my sis-in law who was in town for 20 hrs.
She only had less than 5 hrs of sleep last night. With her need for adequate beauty sleep, I bet today must have been hell for her.

I think today was one of my record-breaking driving day. I woke up at 6.30. Drove to Queenstown to pick up my sis-in law and her dad. After a quick breakfast at Redhill. Had those nice chwee-kuays with stinkifully yummy chai-poh with sesame seed. Afterwards, it's off to Toa Payoh Central. Half an hour there, and we moved on to Chinatown. Dropped my sis-in-law's dad off there and later dropped her off at Orchard before I flew back to Teban Gardens to get the wallet I had left behind. Hit the road right away after I grabbed what I needed, and drove back to Orchard to meet her. We spent 2.5 hrs there -- the usual Ngee Ann-Wisma-Isetan round - and then rushed back to Queenstown. There was some final packing and then it's off to Changi. Rushed check-in as they changed to an earlier flight and then it was me, myself and I all the way back West.

I'm exhausted just thinking about it, but I had more fun today than the past 3 weeks I've been here.
I've been bored stiff.
At least today was quite productive in my opinion.
At least I was getting things done.

Anyway, I found a relatively nearby community centre offering a number of classes that I'm really interested in. Pilates! YOGA! Tons of yoga classes! They have a couple of them instead of just a single class as in the one centre closest to this place. And guess what? They also have French! Oui! Oui!
And jewelery making too!

I'm gonna sign up a.s.a.p....

Anyway, looking forward to July 2nd.
Hopeful. Excited. Anxious. Nervous. Scared.

I got the letter today.
How do you keep your cool, when something that you've been wishing for is laid out in front of you?

The problem is...there are tons of others in the same spot as you.
I don't wanna keep my hopes up but I think a little bit of confidence would be good. I don't wanna go to a battle thinking I'm gonna lose.

Gosh, I really want this so much. It'll be a huge help for me...

A quick recap

I've finally gotten around to clear up some of the pics from my cell phone.
A quick recap :












2 hours of my dad's driving to Bandung last month. I found out later that my poor cousin sitting at the back seat was car-sick the whole way. She did her best to sleep it away.
The white cloud-like thingy actually covered the top of a mountain in the area. Don't ask me what the name is.... I think I surrendered all my local geography knowledge the day I finished primary schoool.













After the 2 hr drive and being stuck in a traffic jam at the Pasteur tollway exit, was treated to this view from our rooms at the hotel.
I LURRRVED IT!!!!












Enjoying the warm fire and the soothing live light jazz music performance.












But three days and two nights afterwards, was sent back to this type of traffic back in Jakarta.


Irrelevant to the trip, I wonder when I'll see this youngest cry baby in the family again..... She's gonna be another American woman by the time I see her.












Aurelle the cry baby...
Pity I didn't get to spend a lot of time with her....

I'm so fed up right now. Just freaking FED EX-tremely up.
Fed up with people treating me as if I have some kind of infectious disease.
Is being single and not dating really such a bad thing?
Why do people pick on singles just because they are?

I guess I'm just more offended that I thought I was... well, more than I would normally expect as I usually take this kind of crap with a stride.

I guess what's bugging me is not really the pressure I get for being single.
It's the attitude I've been getting for not dating.... People treating me as if I'm some mutant -- not in the cool Xmen way, but more in the deformed human with 8 heads, 40 fingers and 3 tails way.

People seem to be so engrossed in trying to identify what is wrong with me.
Why don't you just go and find the cure for AIDS? You should really spend your time on more useful things.

But nothing beats today.

And what the heck did she mean by : "Oh no... you're wrong. My case is not even remotely as bad as hers (i.e. Mine in this case). I'm in a much better position than her."
WTF?
Go to hell... , Miss Big-Hotshot-Oh-I'm-so-cool-and-smart-and-cute...
F off. You're not all that , ok?
I wish I could say that straight to her face.
The only problem is even if she were here, I'm not really allowed to say that to her for multiple reasons. Mostly not involving her though.

OK... I know I'm gonna regret it if I post this grumpy note. I'm almost regretting it right now.
But I couldn't care less at this moment.... I'm so fed up right now I would've screamed like nuts if only my gramps were not sleeping soundly in the next room.

I mean, it's already annoying that my parents criticize the way I talk, the way I walk, the way I drive, the way I go out on late saturday night "outings" with the few friends that I have, the way I look....

Can't tell my parents to buzz off though. They freakin' brought me to this world!!!

And I know they love me. They're just worried. They were raised to have a fixed picture of how life for their big little girl should be and it's not turning out the way it should be.

But what's the deal with this one biatch?

Seriously, I hate assholes who put people down just to make themselves feel better. GO TO HELL.

Good news: The professor who offered me a job got his grant proposal approved.
Bad news: Must really catch up on the statistic skills.
Good news: I have a whole month to do that since nothing will start until at least early July.
Bad news: I don't have anything else to do for a whole month!!!!
More bad news: This usually translate into MORE FAT!!!

I'm dead meat.

What to do... what to do??
Ladeedee.. Ladeeda..
Dumdeedeedeedeedum... deedeedum...deedeedeedeedum....

Anyway, the 2-day shopping excursion is killing my feet today.
I'm so tempted to throw away my new wooden clog with rubber soles... ( I know... they sound silly, but they seriously looked so good in the store).

So my plan to take a picture at 6.06 am or pm on 06/06/06 blew up.
I was fast asleep in the morning, too exhausted to get up early after spending the whole day shopping with my mom and aunt on Monday. In the afternoon, I was driving them around on their second round of shopping spree. ...

It's OK though.... I'm looking forward to 8 am of 08/08/08 now.... think it'll be a better number for me. My plan is basically still the same though.. Gonna try to find apt # 8-08 of block 8 or 88 in the city.
Boy would my dad love that....

Anyway, can't write too much this time. It's 11.30 and I need to get up at 4 am, to get ready and drive my parents to the airport.
Hope I don't doze off on the way back.

My mom's new hobby

My mom seems to have taken up travelling as a new interest of hers. After her two trips to US when I was still working there, she has recently decided to go on a China tour without my dad, just with her friends. She went up Huang shan without any help ( I heard there are people who can carry you up for a fee).If only you knew what she was like before, you'd be just as impressed as I am right now. Although I suspect her confidence might be slightly supported by the fact that my dad was in Shanghai at the time (so if anything happens, it will be easier for him to go and get her). It is seriously a huge change in her attitude towards travelling. And today, I've just found out that she's going to Hongkong with my dad next week!Way to go, Mom!

I'm really glad she's starting to travel. You see, my dad loves to travel. We used to joke that the reason he travels back and forth to Singapore is because he likes Changi and he likes the airlines' service.
However, my mom never liked travelling before. Regardless of how anyone tries to convince her how beautiful a particular place is, she would never budge. I suspect that has more to do with fear though. I think she was nervous about the idea of being away from her comfort zone, but anyway now that my mom seems to have managed to get over it and taken on more interests in travelling, then maybe it'll be easier to convince my parents to travel more. It's about time they enjoy themselves more after working so hard and busting their ass off for the whole family.

I hope they'd go to Japan this autumn. The pictures I've seen are so pretty and I bet they'd love the fall colors.

Anyway gotta run now. I have to meet my cousin to give her my belated b'day gift: A silver necklace with a real four-leave clover pressed inside the glass pendant for luck.

I hope she'll like it.
If not, there will be no more gifts from me in the future. haha...

Put Your Record On

I LUURVVE Corrine Bailey Rae's Put Your Record On!!!!

Long lost relatives

This afternoon was spent waiting for the agent to come with a potential buyer for my sis-in-law's condo. Well, not the whole afternoon....
Anyway, there was no cable service in the unit so I had to resort to local channels, but precisely for that reason, I stumbled upon my beloved show... the Gilmore Girls!

Words cannot express the joy that I felt.....
I sat there with my big-butt glued to the chair and only moved once to let the agent in. It was like seeing some long lost relatives again....
I have forgotten how much I miss the usual light-speed bantering between Lorelai and Rory, Luke with his scruffy looks, grumpy Michel, crazy Kirk, and kaypoh Emily Gilmore.
It's crazy how I'm referring to them as though they are my friends....

I need a life...

endless rambling

I finally got through my exams for this term. My last group paper was finalized and submitted last Saturday, after a farewell dinner that was not attended by the person leaving town (quite sad, actually....). Anyway he did show up for a round of beers with those of us who stayed for a second session at CQ. Afterwards, I was the only one who agreed to go with him to MOS (simply because he looked so depressed and could really use some fun). He reminded me of how I felt during my last days in Chi-town last year. I wonder if people picked up my horribly sad vibes .... I did my best to hide it, but after seeing how it was with this friend of mine, I supposed it was a futile attempt.

Overall, the past 4-month period has been quite fun. The highlight I suppose has gotta be the field trip. I wish we could do it all over again.
I can't believe I only have one more semester to go (hopefully...). After which, another final decision has to be made. Well, actually, it's gonna be made in the next few weeks I suppose.

I must say, with all that I've observed and gone through, I think I'm just a teeny-weeny bit more ready to go home.... Must admit I still have my reservations though. Just a couple of things I still can't let go of. A bit tough to do that, when it involves your dreams and your interests.

I will though, when the time comes. I will. I promise. I owe them at least that much.

For now, I'm just gonna focus on my to-do list for the next 2 days.
I've got so much to do: Gotta get a document notarized, be a cameraman this Sunday, after I shop for gifts ( YOU GIRLS HAD BETTER STOP PUMPING OUT BABIES!!! I'M GETTING BROKE HERE!!!YOU KNOW I CAN'T SAY NO TO THEM AND THEIR CHUBBY CHEEKS AND TOOTHLESS SMILES!!!!!). Afterwards, I'll still need to do some last-minute shopping for food stuff on Monday morning, before taking off on a flight back home in the afternoon.

One thing I really look forward though, aside from the trip, is the supper we're planning this Saturday. Hope it will be fun.

I'm a lazy ass!

Something struck me as I was driving home the other day.

It never occured to me before that the fact that I really enjoy driving might actually be a clear indication of how lazy I am. With all my complaints about what other things I could be doing with the time I spend waiting for and riding on the bus, I managed to trick myself into believing that I simply aim for more efficient use of my time or something within the line.

But you see, I've just realized that the reality could very likely be simply that I am so lazy that I just want to sit in a car and let the scenery change around me.

I want things to change without me doing anything but sit and watch.... Well, ok... perhaps maybe minor stuff like stepping on the accelerator? Hitting the brake once in a while?
MY GOSH!!!
I'm one damn-lazy ass!!!!

GEEZ!!!

Tomorrow is my last exam for this semester.
My brain is not working though and I don't know what to do. I have never felt this dumb before in my whole life... (well, except that one time in second grade... let's not even talk about it).
I have been calling my friends and bugging them with silly questions.
I wonder if I have some brain disorder, some disease... I don't know some virus is eating up my brain, perhaps?
I don't know why my brain is so not in tune right now...
Actually I don't know where my brain is right now. It's a wonder to me that I can actually still write this.
Alzheimer?
That's scary...
God help me tomorrow,.... please... pretty pretty please....

Brain crash

My brain had decided to crash on me.... just like a really beat-up computer. It has decided to quit and disregard any data entry from me.
I wish this was only my imagination... but it sure looks like it's for real...

Counting down

Starting count down now.... less than 60 hours away before my execution, i.e. the start of finals.
Instead of studying for it, I'm writing about counting down.
Great.
I can just picture my results now...

Eyes of Mordor

Is it just me or does this look like the "Eyes of Mordor" to you?

There's no need to answer...
And the answer to your question is yes, I am crazy about the LOTR. Not the book though. Can't seem to finish it hard as I try. I prefer my brother's collection of David Edding's Sparhawk. I mean Edding made him sounds like such a cool dude.

Anywho, I lurrrrrve LOTR the movie.
Somehow it's almost equal to all the HK gangster movies I used to watch when I was little. It's all Andy Lau's fault that in the 4th grade I told my dad I wanted to be a gangster with an AK47 and a really nice big flashy red bike....
I didn't realize I was gonna be doomed by getting banned from ever getting my hands on a real bike as a result. (Was never interested in any lady scooters....)

Geez... how did I digress so far ?? (Pretend to be surprised now....)

I guess... I like the idea of being in a kick-ass group and torture people. hahah.... neah... I think it's just the result from being the nerdy geek with very few friends in school. Think I just grew up wishing I belong to a certain group of some sort.

Anyway, the eyes of mordor was actually a failed attempt to capture the full moon a few days ago. I think my shaky hands are comparable to those of a 90 year old. I really have no idea why I tremble so much.
The one below is also another failure, but I don't care.... I like it, and that's what matters.














Star. Moon. Earth.

Moro

Earlier this month I took a trip back to the island where my maternal great grandparents used to live. I used to look forward to going to this place when I was little as I would be having so much fun there.
As Madonna would say, " This used to be my playground....."

So excited!
I watched one of the first episodes of Grey's Anatomy on Starworld today. I have actually seen it before, but anyway....finally something I can look forward to.
I didn't get a chance to keep track of this show when I was in Chicago. Maybe this time I can....
The bad news is...I'm gonna be away in about 3 weeks.
I hope my brother has it in his cable subscription back home.

By the way, I went to the temple yesterday by myself. It was quite an interesting experience.

Behind the scenes of my nightmare

GOSH....
Now I'm a bit relieved. Just realized that the nightmare I mentioned won't be part of any deja-vu, since it seems to be induced.
What I noticed with my dreams that turn in to deja-vus is that they usually don't have any events or occasions that I think could have induced them.

I think this nightmare came about because I dozed off listening to this discussion on Chicago's KissFM regarding the cases of unnecessary deaths... with this violence in the rap world ( in Detroit, I believe), the drag racing on State St (man,... I'm a bit worried for some of my old neighbours in my previous apartment building. I hope everyone's ok), people having problem getting emergency medical assistance from 911.

It was just so upsetting to listen to the recorded 911 calls, but I can't help but feel slightly for the operators. I mean, I wonder if they were just really having a bad day or stressed out about something and made a really bad call at work. Although the recordings really stressed me out, I kinda find it even more upsetting to hear some of the unbelieveable comments made by people who called in or messaged the radio: Among them a guy who insisted that it is their rights to drag race on a public street, saying that there's nothing anyone can do to stop them, and another who I think admitted to drag racing WITHOUT driving license?!?!? There was also a lady caller who cheerfully called in and kinda' suggested that it sorta' levels out the situation, comparing it to people who were killed in an accident involving LICENSED older drivers.WTH?!?!?!

I'm just upset.
I was involved in an accident before a few years ago. Luckily the person survived with a dislocated hip and minor injuries according to what the doctor told me. I remember crying the whole night that night.

I don't drag race. I might go beyond the speed limit once in a while nowadays on the expressway, but only when there is really the need to. Even then, it doesn't go to an absurd triple digit figure. And it definitely does not happen on a public street with pedestrians around.
I must make a note to myself to drive even more carefully in the future.

I guess it might be a good idea to try to remember this more often. I can't remember where I heard or read it, but it sure sounds Oprah-y to me:
Driving is a privilege, not a right.
Now I wonder if it came from some public service announcement. Geez... some really bad memory that I have. Wonder if my brain is running on some old pc from pre-pentium era....

My nightmare

A really bad nightmare woke me up just now.
It was a really bad one.... and it's a bit scary since some of the details are still freshly etched in my mind.
Actually it was one heck of a story, with two subplots that I don't think are related. One has a murder cover-up plot and one has a conspiracy theory thing involving more victims (GEEZ.... roomie! Look what your bf has done to me! And to think I only browsed through the websites he mentioned for a few brief minutes).
Going back to my dream-based dejavu, this is exactly why I don't like them. Hopefully no part of this won't turn out to be part of any future dejavu, since there was an old friend involved as one of the victims.
Hopefully this will be like one of my notorious nightmare of my whole family being captured and turned into zombies...
(Hey,... what can I say, I was 13, ok?!?!?).

If women ruled the world....

I got these in one of those chain e-mails, and I love them!!
I hope I don't get into trouble for not quoting the sources, as I have no idea where they came from originally.
Well, since the email suggested further sharing of these images, I figures posting them here would be more effective.

IF WOMEN RULED THE WORLD....


















































































































I must say, what a better world it would be.....

free lunch part deux

On hindsight, apparently the offer for free dinner was not directed to me.
(So embarassing...)
I just happened to be lucky enough that I have a weird name and someone remembered me. Must remember to thank my mom for this crazy idea of her ( the name, I mean).
Anyway, it was the best and most scrumptious dinner I've ever had.
D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S!
I would highly recommend this price to anyone, if not for the tab which I did not get to see, although I doubt I want to know....
Anyway, as we were saying during dinner, it's really a good place to go if you want to impress your future or potential in-laws.
YUM.YUM.YUM. Three YUMs Up!

Free lunch

When someone who used to keep saying there's no such thing as a free lunch offers you a free dinner instead.
Should you be suspicious?

Blast from the past part deux

One of the buildings I miss the most...














I got distracted on my way home from class one evening, and here's the reason. I like this picture because it looks like there's some exorcism work going on on the top of the JH building.
















I wish they could splurge on tulips like these over here.....
















Didn't really want to include this one, but I just really love this picture my friend took of me at one of the gift shops in Galena. Especially since one he is in the picture, without noticing it himself. hahaha.....thanks for taking the picture, and it does really look good on you, gir!
hehehehe.... Anyway, what I really like about the picture is the word on the tiara. In case you can't see it, it says: Bachelorette.

I'm obsessed

I'm in love!

I'm in love!

I'm in love....
with pink guava!

hahaha....

sorry for the possibly misleading statement,but I'm seriously in love. Close to being obsessed actually....

The thing is nobody in my family even eats guava, I think. And hard as I try for the past 2 days, I can't figure out when the first time was that I gave it a try. I know it was not that long ago, but I can't remember....

Geez! Talk about some short memory span....

Blast from the Past

I finally transferred the pictures on my cell phone the other day.
Can't help but feel all nostalgic ....











A once very familiar view from outside the window at work...












I remember clearly how I used to look forward to any movement from this side of the platform...












It's not a very good picture due to the low resolution, but there was huge rainbow over Lake Michigan, taken while riding in the back seat of my friend's car....











This picture of the church on Dearborn was taken on my way home from my French class. The whole downtown was covered in soot-like snow flakes. Tons of nice,tiny, light and dry snow flakes that float in the air beautifully instead of those wet and heavy ones that just fall flat on the ground *splat*.












The park across the street...












and the view from yet another familiar "El" platform , as what I would see when I used to go for a dose of "mango freeze with pearl".... yup, even during winter....

Bright shiny object -- not UFO.

On our way home from lunch last Sunday, I ran out of topics to bring up to my aunt (My uncle is an awfully quiet guy), so I was just looking out the window, trying to catch any interesting building that people might bring up in class next time.
Offices... trees...offices...trees...condos..trees....condos....trees...HDB flats...HDB flats...tr..WTH!!?!?!
Somewhere along the way, there was a piece of a shining white thing under the bright scorching sun. Couldn't really make out what it was the first few seconds...
Good thing my uncle doesn't really drive that fast... not as fast as my aunt used to, at least.... so I had the chance to do a double take.
It took me a few seconds, what with the other cars blocking my view....
Geez....!!!
It was an uncle (old guy in the local context), stripped down to his speedos, lying down on the grass by the expressway and trying to soak all the UVs he can get.
NOT trying to be discriminating (hey, who am I to judge?), but it's just such a WRONG picture that I don't think I can list enough reasons why it's just so wrong:

• Think I'd make sure I have a more acceptable belly in terms of its size before I start any exhibitionist move like that.
• Think I'd prefer a dead-body pose than his cleopatra-wih-bulging-belly-looking-at-the-sun pose.
• Why, oh why? Why the banana-hammock (can finally use one of the words from NC) for God's sake? Can't a bermuda do?
• Such shiny and temporarily blinding distraction can be a hazard to the drivers on the highway . He should've come up with a traffic warning sign: Non-UFO blinding shiny object ahead!
• Uh, hello, uncle??? Have you heard of skin cancer?
• As I'm currently studying real estate: Location, Location, LOCATION! Why the expressway of all places in the world? Hello?!!?!? Heard of the word pollution before?

I don't know... I think I haven't fully recovered from this traumatizing experience. I'm just glad my niece and nephew were not there to ask their regular "What is he/she/it doing?". I wouldn't have the slightest clue what to tell them.

An insomniac's note

Just woke up after catching up on my beauty sleep.
Another one down in school, six more papers to go....
I think our group did quite a kill today, so I guess the six bucks something that I paid for the starbucks iced latte was worth the 3o hour effect after all.

BEP or Sinatra

I am not familiar with all his songs but I like how Frank Sinatra sounds so much better in the cool evenings, especially with snow falling outside your window.....
Looking for some "cooling-down" effect, I tried to play the songs just now. It's just not the same, though, to listen to the songs in the scorching day-time weather in the tropics. Not even remotely the same effect....
Guess I'll stick with my BEP for now....

A completely googlized google-head!

I LURRRRRVVVE GOOGLE!!!

Gmail, Google Talk, Google Chat, Google Desktop, Google Earth.
You name it, I like it!Especially Gmail and Google Desktop.....I seriously can't picture life without google now.
What a google-head!

I hate cancer.

Within a week, I've received two bad news of the same kind. Two of my friends have lost their dads.
And what makes me feel bad is not being able to be there for them. I tried calling one of them but it's really quite awkward... not sure what to tell her. I just wish I could be there to hold her hands. I think she would need that more than words.
The other friend actually lost her father a few weeks ago, but I only heard of it about 2 days ago. This time, again it's the damn cancer.
I HATE CANCER!!!!!!!!!
I never got to meet this father of my friend. However, from her stories, I could tell that he was a really sweet, and funny dad... like those that you see in the movies. He had a chicken farm raising chicks that kindergartens couldn't keep anymore. He had a very nice pear tree and I had a taste of some of the harvest once. They were some of the nicest pears I've ever had. He also helped a divorced niece take care of 4 kids. He just sounded like a really nice grampa, just like my paternal grampa....

I hate cancer.

A repenting shopaholic's nightmare

I'm addicted to earrings!!!!
Gosh....I went from completely ignoring the piercing I've had since I was two, to having almost a dozen of earrings within a mere 2 months time.

Shoot!!
Now this just adds on the list of items I can always get regardless of my weight:
1 Bag
2 Shoes
3 Earrings

ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Deja vu

I had a really strong dejavu once during the Shanghai trip. Last time I had anything of the same level was during my last weeks in Chicago. This is one of those that just gives me the feeling like I got kicked in the stomach. It was so creepy that it literally took me a while to calm down. The thing is, I remember clearly hearing the same dialog in a dream. I remembered because I didn't usually talk to this classmate that often, and I remembered thinking after I had the dream, how weird it was to dream about someone I didn't really know.

I think I've been getting them more often recently, though at different levels. I hope it will go away soon.
I don't want to keep getting it. It's creepy.

Shanghai Nite

I just came back from a whirlwind field study to Shanghai. Overall, I really had a great time. It was as if I was back in school.....talk about some anti-agin treatment. There was none of my classmates' usual talk of having to do OT at work, bosses that drive'em nuts, etc....etc....
All we talked about (most of the time, at least) is where to go after this, what to eat, what to buy, take pictures, take pictures and take more pictures.....

Shanghai was really interesting. I can seriously picture myself going back there for a short stay, at the very least. Not during the summer, though... as I suspect some parts of the place will smell just like the slums of Jakarta..... Maybe in the fall or even winter in cooler, as in our trip, the smell is not there, I suspect.

Things I hated about Shanghai:
- Non-English speaking taxi drivers
- my very first window-less hotel room (Quite impressive how they claim to be a 3/4-star business hotel)
- my very first hotel with no english-speaking tv channels: C'mon people.... there were at least 50 channels there... can't u just squueze in an HBO or something?
- people-shovers at the metro and queue-cutters at the metro ticket station(I scolded one of each)
- the smoking: Geez.... don't think I've consumed as much second-hand smoke before in my life. I know it was useless, but I couldn't help pretend that I was really choking at one point (considering I really almost did choke from the smoke after a few days).Seriously people, it stinks.. I mean you stink, ok?!??!
- Smelly cabs
- Lack of smelly cabs on Saturday nights: A 1.5 hr time to get a cab is really bad for a city that claims it never sleeps, ok?
- Clubs that close at 2 am? WTH?

Things I loved about Shanghai:
- Late night strolls at the Bund (This has got to be #1)
- Getting to hang-out with my classmates almost 24/7 for a whole week. I like how you always find that most people are really quite nice once you get to spend some time and get to know them better
- Xiang Yang market (It's one of those love-hate relationships. It really pisses me off to find out how I was overpriced for some items, but when I look at the cute silver earrings that I got.... I just forget about it)
- The 5-Yuan outrageously yummilicious fried dumplings at Wu-jiang Road (must check the name of the place with the guys)
- 24-hr Yong He (Not sure if I like the soy-milk or the idea of a 24-hr F&B within less than 5 mins walk.
- Getting to practice a word or two in Mandarin
- Getting a " Hua yu jiang de man hau ma...." praise from a cab driver, after reading a posted ad in the cab with the level of fluency as a pres-school kid.
- Maglev

The day we were flying back home, on the way to the Immigration counters, a newfound friend patted me at the back and told me that he didn't realize that I was a really strong girl. He said I made him and the guys felt obsolete, as I was handling my incredibly heavy suitcase along with other people's suitcases by myself. A friend once told me that, too.... but I never took it seriously.
I wonder if I really have that effect on guys.......
Lesson learnt: Never try to be responsible for your own sh*t. Always ask the guys for help.
Hey for all I know, I might enjoy travelling even more than I do now. The only trick is trying to convince any guy to travel with me.

I feel like banging my head to the wall... The klutz me has somehow managed to lose the one (well, one of many) things I really can't afford to do without nowadays.
My iTalk has miraculously disappeared.
Not even sure when the thing was gone (my fault I know for keeping my Doraemon-pocket-like bag).... when I didn't see it, I thought it was just in there somewhere in the twilight zone.
Now it's gone...

iTalk where are u.... I need u back....
So far I only have 1 suspicion: the 5 mins I left my bag in the computer lab last friday.

Finally, ... my chat session with God

Gosh, I'm seriously hooked. I love kennysia.com.
The guy's just simply hilarious.....
Anyway, I blame him for the conversation below with igod ( Yeah... I'm pathetic, I know....)

Me: hi god
God:Hello there. What is your name?
Me: what's in a name?
God:Is this a joke?
Me: I thought you'd know
God:I do not know everything.
Me: Who does then?
God:Most people I think.
Me: Really?
God:For real.
...
...
...
Me: hi again god
God:Hi there. Again, GOD rules.
Me: I thought I rule
God:Robots rule!
Me: Me rule!
God:YOU? When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me: yesterday?
God:That recently.
Me: anyway, I'm not a lawyer
God:Oh I see you are NOT A lawyer.
Me: so you can't replace me ....
God:Interesting deduction. What is not possible today, may be possible tomorrow.
...
...
...

Me:
i love u god
God:
You are such a flatterer.
Me:
but i love myself more
God:
You love yourself more. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
because I'm such a screwup
God:
That makes sense to me. Why are you such a screwup.
Me:
dont u remember? u made me
God:
Of course I remember: . Thanks for
pointing it out.

I'm officially 2x!
Well, it's really another approximately 12 hours away if I really, really wanna be exact. However, who cares about accuracy by now? The more inaccurate it is, the better.....who knows I might be able to squeeze in another year or two.

Home, here I come!....

So excited..., I can't wait for tomorrow to come.

A sleepwalking contrarian

I'm a contrarian and I'm enjoying it!!!
Don't really know why, when, what, who, where and even if...
Who does anyway?
Just taking one step at a time and enjoying the ride I guess...

Nothing

I used to really love to read. I used to read almost anything I could lay my eyes on. I can remember clearly reading out loud any text on any billboards that I could lay my eyes on, while leaning againts the front part of my Dad's old vespa (I remember once he sternly told me to quit trying to steer the whole thing -- should've noticed the early signs of a control freak, perhaps?).
I don't do that anymore. Not reading the billboards and not steering any vespa now. Sure do miss the good old times.

No Harry Potty & the Toilet Bowl, please...

I've just remembered something else that really pissed me off a few weeks ago.

You see, I was all excited, and I mean EXCITED, to finally see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, since it came out locally during my exam week. So much so that I was willing to squeeze in the seventh row from the front, and all the way to the side, in order to protect my left ear from what my right ear has to suffer from. They always manage to outdo their previous movies, so I expected this one to be even better than the previous HP movie (which I lurrved by the way).

Unfortunately, all the excitement just plunged down the cliff, not even rolling down the hill, as I started getting disappointed within 15 minutes into the film. The freakin' movie that I saw was really equal to some low-budget HK movies with crappy editing. Didn't realize it at first, but a few minutes later, I realized it wasn't really Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Not all of it, at least....

Although most of the film's intact, for all I know, I might as well have gone to see Harry Potty and the Toilet Bowl (suggested title for this version of the movie that I saw, to reflect the impact of the additional editing). Whoever was in charge of the local cinema and movie business, basically cut up the movie into a practically uneventful chain of events.Without seeing the full version, I can only positively confirm one missing link. However, I'm sure there are more.

I feel so bad for the directors, actors, cinematographer, special-effects guys (what are they called, by the way?), cameramen, ... I mean everyone who busted their ass off for this movie.
If it really upsets me when somebody messes around with any of my oh-so-meaningless projects, without discussing it with me, I can't imagine how bad they must feel if they saw this version of the movie.
Just wondering if there is any law at all in this world that protects the integrity of an art production? I mean, c'mon... hundreds and hundreds of people must have put their minds and thoughts into this movie. I think, movies, regardless of their scale of productions, rightfully deserve to be treated as an art form.
But if so, then how would you feel if somebody just decided that Monalisa needed to look more proper, with a full-blown turtle neck top and her hair done nicely in a tight bun like Prof. McGonnagal? Or if somebody just decided to paint a proper set of pants and shirt on David to make him more presentable?

Just imagining the time and effort put into a single shot in a movie, I think if I were in any way involved in the production, I would rather have the movie be rated as "for adults only" instead of it being crappily-edited like that.

I was listening to a discussion regarding defamation a few months ago. I wonder, had I been Rowling, would I have filed a law suit for defamation through crappy editing?

But then again, I'm not Rowling. And my anger has subsided significantly. I think I'm back to the old optimistic me, looking forward to another movie: Chicken Little. Speaking of the poultry reminds me of something: Though this is kinda passe, I wonder if Donald Duck should wear pants now if he wants to protect his existence.

A day in the life of a couch potato

Geez....it's been one heck of a boring week! I'm seriously in need of an effective method to drag my butt out of this flat. Am quite sure it has doubled up in size by now. Talk about being a couch potato, I think I can actually be a couch pumpkin by now (think those scary, gigando pumpkins they have around halloween).

Must go out and do something useful tomorrow...... like shop for a new pair of shades, maybe? :P
Seriously, mine are so badly scratched that my hands just automatically reached out and try to "rub the fleck of dust away". Must get a decent pair, since I might have to drive in the next few weeks. Or actually, I would really like to drive....
Gosh, I really miss being behind the wheel.
Which reminds me, must go and convert my license. OK, now that's another thing to do.
Sh*t! ... I still haven't sent the check for the overpayment. Wonder if I'm on the country's Most wanted list by now.
Must do it tomorrow too.
Oh, might as well go and get Dad's favorite pen fixed while I look for shades. Oh yeah, I still owe my niece a birthday present. Guess a formal outfit for the seminar and the power lunch would be great, though things would've been so much easier had they had GAPs here.
Now did Bro ever confirmed whether or not he still wanted that Daft Funk CD?
Anyway, must also get super duper powerful sun block for the family trip.
Should I get my passport renewed here or back home?
Speaking of home, aaaarrrggghhh... must clean the room before my cousin comes back from OZ!

Wait a minute... where did all these chores come from? Thought this was supposed to be a holiday break with me having nothing to do?
Geez... I'm so exhausted just thinking about them, I think I need to sit down, catch my breath... and maybe watch another episode of whatever crappy show they have on TV. Yeah... think that's just what I need....

I'm a salted fish?

五月天's 咸鱼

Can't really translate the whole song as I'm not sure what the symbolic significance (I assume) of the salted fish is in this song :P
Wonder if I can find anyone to help me with this. Hmm... maybe I'll just ask my Chinese-speaking classmates.
But anyway I just love this song.
Am even considering making it my official personal anthem ^_^

我是一只咸鱼 不想承认也不能否认
不要同情我笨又夸我天真还梦想著翻身
咸鱼就算翻身 还是只咸鱼输得也诚恳
至少到最後我还有咸鱼不腐烂的自尊

我没有任何天分
我却有梦的天真
我是傻不是蠢
我将会证明用我的一生

我如果有梦 有没有错
错过才会更加明白 明白坚持是什么
我如果有梦 梦要够疯
够疯才能变成英雄 总会有一篇我的传说...

我不好也不坏不特别出众
我只是敢不同
我的人生就是一错再错
错完了再从头
也许放弃掉一些活得更轻松
我却不再是我
我不愿一生晒太阳吹风
咸鱼也要有梦

有一天有我的天空

作我的英雄 在我的天空
我知道你懂 知道你会懂

Women in Their 30s

Found this from my pile of saved favorite links. Can't remember if I got it from a friend or by accident, but I love it! It's making the big 3-o sound like such a good place to be that I'm actually a bit excited about getting there now... well just ever so slightly, at least.....

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.
A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom.
Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.
Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women.
Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know.
A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one!
You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Here's an update for you.
Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.....

-Andy Rooney on Women in Their 30s-

So I guess this is it.
There goes my 4-year effort to get a fairer skin tone.
The tropical sun has finally taken its toll through a 1 hour bike ride under the sun. It wasn't even a full-blown sun, for God's sake!

Anyway, Mr. Vain, my new buddy from class, was so hilarious on the way back home. Browsing through the cds that one street vendor was selling, he asked me to find one with the "doggie song" by Jay.
"Eh? Come again?"
"The doggie song.... ya know....."
For a split second I thought he meant that "who let the dogs out" song, but then I figured it's Jay Chow's 四面楚歌 since the lyric's a bit loaded with the word 狗 and words that rhyme with it. It took me a few seconds to realize that he was actually looking for 安静 or anjing, which means a dog in Indonesian.
That's a good one.

I'm dyslexic

So it's official....
I was like half a step away from being $2000 richer, and I blew it.

I had this weird dream. A really weird one, in which my aunt was having a conversation with "God" during her prayers and she was given a very clear set of number consisting of 4 digits.

Geez... Think it will take a while for me to recover.

Darn it.. think I'm dyslexic....

你很笨 leh! - One interesting cab ride

Flagged a cab today to campus as I didn't feel like spending over an hour with the bus. The wait was ok but I should've noticed the signs when the cabby didn't even bother driving up to where I stand and made me cross the street instead.
It wasn't until I got really close that I realized he's a really old guy. I later found out that he's in his early 70s.

Anyway it started off as any other cab ride until the guy started interrogating me on the reason why my English was different than the local version. At first he was quite impressed that given my country of origin that I could understand and speak a bit of Chinese, but the discussion then just went tumbling down the hill afterwards. He started interrogating me about what I do and used to do. Silly me didn't think that such an old man can be so scarily fierce and just answered all his questions in a matter-of-factly way.

I really didn't expect the guy just completely go berserk once he heard what I did a few months ago.
" 你很笨leh！为什么要回来？可以住美国不要住？？？你真得很笨 leh!!!"
(Unofficial translation: YOU MORON!! ARE YOU STUPID OR WHAT!??!You could've stayed in US and you chose not to???!?!? )
He was talking at the top of his lungs. He couldn't believe anyone with the right mind would have done what I did. I could see his eyes from the rear view mirror and I could tell he was fuming. I think if I were in any way related to him, he would've yanked my hair and dragged me out of the car and just beat the heck out of me.

Trust me, he was REALLY scary.
He then spent the rest of my cab ride lecturing me about how one should not be a 井底蛙 (literal translation: frog at the bottom of a well -- a dry one, I hope) and how one should aspire to be a 海鸥 (seagull, I think).
He told me about how his son is in Australia and is doing really well and happy there and doesn't even want to come back.
"This place is not for humans to live in" he said. He then asked what I thought I would get from this place. I went for the easy "dunno" way out. Didn't see the use of getting into an argument with him.

He then went on about how US is such a good place to live, with its totally chemical-free fruits and vegetables, and chickens that are not injected with hormones (HUH?!?!??!?), its laid-back lifestyle, where everything is just beautiful and perfect.
It's amazing anyone could be so misled about US, huh?
And even more so, that this is all coming from someone who most probably had never been to US. Or maybe that's actually why he could've been so misled in the first place.

I waited until we got really close to where I was gonna get off, and politely asked:
"Uncle (local way to address older male individuals), since you seem to like the place so much and since you're son is doing so well out there, so how come you're driving a cab here? Why are you not there with him?You should go and stay with him there.Let him take care of you now."
"Ah? Me?"
I must have caught him offguard.
"Yup."
There was a few seconds of silence.
" I don't like bread leh...........I prefer rice."
He laughed and I faked a laugh to go along with it.
" I told my son that I'll go there when I'm older and senile, so I can eat anything."
What a lame excuse, I thought.

And there, right at that second, I felt bad. I felt sorry for him.
I know that some senior citizens nowadays prefer to live by themselves, working to support themselves and to maintain their independence, like my grandparents. However, I also know that not all of them have the benefit of a choice as my grandparents do.What if that's the case with him?
What if I had just made another cut in an open wound?

I remember somewhere along the way, the guy heaved a heavy sigh and shook his head showing a strong disappointment.
" Haiya,......真替你可惜啊...."
He sounded like he was genuinely concerned.

Then I remember my late paternal grampa.
Although he was never as nosy as this guy, I could see some similarities in their "tough guy, tough love" style. Grampa was both the coolest and the grumpiest guy all in one. He said very little when unnecessary but when he's pissed off about something, his old fiery side would come out right away.

I wonder if he would've said the same thing to me:
"你很笨leh!"
I hope not.

Just realized I haven't really taken any picture since I got here. Kinda' miss my camera. The thing is it's quite troublesome to lug around with me considering the size and weight. Hmm... is it time for a new one? ^_^

Confession of a procrastinator.... (or is it late-bloomer?)

I did. I did. I did.
I have. I have. I have.
I am. I am. I am.

I wish.

One heck of a bus ride

I'm quite convinced that the bus driver seriously forgot that he still had another passenger on board. OK, so I guess 00.15 am it's not really a good idea to still be on the bus through the industrial park. But, hey, I'm a paying customer, OK?

This guy was swerving from one lane to another, swaying his body along as if moving along with a music playing in his head. By the time he got through the first roundabout (of a few along the way), it seriously felt like I had just gone through a ride in the amusement park.

Brakes? What's that? Neah.. don't know it, don't need it.

Geez, I had to hold on to my dear life, utilizing all my limbs to grab whatever footing and holding I can find just to avoid getting thrown out the window.

But anyway, I was so relieved after being done with my individual presentation today that I didn't even feel the need to curse or anything like that. Didn't even need any alcohol after managing to drag some of my friends out for supper after class. They were just amused at how happy I was.

Yipee!! The two trouble-makers, along with their parents aka. my bro and sis-in-law, are coming to town in the next few days. So should have some "entertainment". Honestly, nowadays, just having more people around is high-intensity entertainment for me. Pathetic? I know....

Hm... somebody suggested backpacking to Phuket over the break? Now that's an interesting idea.... Wonder how long I'll last on the road. Now if we had a car it would be great. Just lurrrve driving. Anyway, I think maybe we should start with Malaysia first though. Redang island's beach looks gorgeous on the website, and I just saw a package that includes 3 snorkeling trips. Tempting idea.... questionable prospect, though.

Anyway,I was also thinking of Penang. When he was still around, Grandpa offered to take me there a few times, but I never took the offer. Now I wonder if he really was just looking for an excuse, and a friend, to go there. He seemed to like the place a lot (though I have no idea what's there). Should've noticed that....

Gullible? me???

Something interesting happened yesterday. It wasn't an eventful day or anything like that but it was interesting.
For the first time ever, someone actually used the word "gullible" to describe me.
Me? gullible?
Interesting...., never in my life have I associated myself with that word.
The thing is I tend to relate being gullible to being "innocent", up to a certain extent (not to mention also slightly "slow"? So, I'm not sure if I should be mad right about...... NOW?).

I definitely don't see myself as being "innocent" for sure, so it's quite hard for me to relate to the word "gullible".

Of course the person who said it is a classmate that has known me only for the past 2.5 months or so, but I do wonder if that's how some people really see me.

Really need to take a longer look at myself in the mirror next time....

wait a minute.... (!??!?!)

geez.....
this is so ridiculous....
Just realized that for the past few months, I've been running around thinking that I'm one year older than I actually am.
GEEEEZZZ, girl... what's wrong with your brain?????!?!?

Didn't realize this till the other day while my uncle was advising (i.e. lecturing) me on how I should just find someone to settle down and all that stuff. He asked how old I am and I promptly answered: 2X! The same thing I've been telling my new acquaintances in town.

Of course, not that it makes that much of a difference though, since it's almost the end of the year anyway. But still.... even my 5-yr old niece can tell she's almost 5, not almost 6.... ?!?!?!??

So much for all the time and money spent on school huh? can't even get this simple math straight?

Really need to have a CT-scan I think.
Something's wrong up there in my control room.

23.55

Just submitted a report a little over 12 hours ago, 5 minutes before the end of the 19/10/05 deadline.
phewwwhhh...... Have no idea what I was rambling about in the 12-page long discussion.

A classmate was trying to convince me that the $1 per week is worth the hope that you're buying with the TOTO / 4D here. I personally think it's a waste of time but he sure was very convincing though...
We'll see....

In any case, wonder if 2355 would hit.

arrrgggghhh.....
16-page research proposal in 72 hours?
arrrrgggghhh...
!
those group projects!
must type type and type some more.
arggggggggggghhh......

Disposable memory

Just realized most of my friends have become just text in my inbox or in my IM window. Well..., ok... so I guess maybe once in a while a few animated emoticons (how are we supposed to pronounce this by the way?).

I'm just not sure if it's a good thing or not.

Is it good because I still have them in my thoughts, that at least we are maintaining that thin line called friendship despite our nerve-wrecking daily routines and work pressure? Or is it bad because it's all that I have left from all the great times we used to share?

I just miss a lot of people, that's all. Can't help but wonder if they are thinking of me too. A friend once told me not to hold on too hard to any memory that you have. "People come and people go.... That's life," this friend said, not long before she basically just flew away and disappeared into thin air.

As much as I try to, I am a sucker for nostalgic memories. Think I've managed to let go of a lot and I've managed to drag myself to move on (physically: twice) but I reminisce a lot. Wonder why it is so much easier for everyone else to let go.

Just wish I could do without this 30GB hard drive (or have a teeny, itsy, bitsy one just to run the OS) and just stick with USB thumb drives for good. Disposable memories for your brain.... wouldn't that be great then?

Mine is sinus

That's my problem alright.

Another freakin' flu attack in less than 2 weeks????!?!?!? Can hardly use my nose right now that I might actually survive without it if you cut it off now. I mean c'mon... that's really pushing it, don't u think?Who in the world gets a second cold less than 2 weeks after the first one?
What the heck is wrong with this place anyway? Or is it me? IS IT REALLY?
This freakin' sinus pain is driving me nuts!!
By now, think I'm quite ready to just use a vacuum cleaner to take care of things. Just get everything out in the open.....

So sorry for the disgusting idea, by the way.

On the bus

On my way home, with three bags full of school and personal supplies plus the stuff that I had to bring for my private lesson, I was ready to get off the bus. Couldn't wait to get off the cool, air-conditioned bus and walk that short distance home from the bus stop in the disgustingly hot and sticky weather. As I stood up getting ready to get off, an elderly man stood up also and reached out to hold on to one of the poles on the bus. With a slow movement typical of older people, he reached out his hands and put his hands on the hands of an elderly lady who was also holding on to the pole, although she was sitting down. She raised her head and looked at him. I thought she was ready to yell: " YOU PERVERT!!!"(You should've seen my face. It was a really tense split second.)

Instead though, they just looked at each other. For the few minutes we had to stop at the traffic light, they just looked at each other. Not a single word from either one of them. Not a nod. Nothing.

I let them get off first and I watched them walk away from the bus stop.

Suddenly, the thought of my late grandfather just crossed my mind. Not sure why. He wasn't really a touchy feely person. He was a mechanic cum electrician. He wouldn't have passed any quiz you could give him to measure his sensitivity. When he found out that he had cancer, he didn't tell anyone in the family although later on we did anyway. But what he decided to do after he found out is what I find really touching. He tried to make sure my grandma has plenty of supply of this particular type of traditional Chinese show in Teochew, the type that she really liked. It took him a while, but one by one, he managed to score what he needed from his favorite place: the flea market. He decided he needed to make sure my grandma wouldn't have to fight with the grandkids to watch the show, so he went to scour the market for a decent TV, a VCD player and of course the VCDs. It took him a while as he wanted a good bargain, but he managed to get everything together.

Now my grandma lives on those VCDs. Whenever she can get her hands on them, watching the show is the only thing she will be doing all day long. I used to be her favourite, but now she doesn't even want to talk to me anymore.

I miss my grandpa. I wish I had the chance to say good bye to him. But what makes it worse is that I didn't realize I was losing both of them at the same time.

Caught in the act

Don't you just hate it when you get caught red-handed? Doesn't matter what you were doing, it sucks when you get caught when browsing your horoscope online during office hours, or when checking out your own reflection on a window, or when wearing socks with holes in them, or wearing the same outfit two days in a row or one of the worst yet most-probable one: when you get caught with something in your teeth that desribes your last meal.

One of the things I end up getting caught with ( a lot) recently is : looking at other people. I'm sorry but I had nothing to do,ok? I mean, why do you think people stand at the bus stop or stand in line at the interchange? Think they're actually waiting for the bus? NOOOOOO..... they're there because they have nothing to do at 11 pm and decided some people watching would be fun, ok? Actually getting on the bus and getting home is only a bonus. Trust me.

Special stage performances

Sunday was supposed to be a peaceful, restful day for me here in the little tropical island. At least I thought so.

Last Sunday did not really work out that way though. After spending a full hour of queueing in front of a noodles stall in a hawker's center, I came home from lunch with my uncle and aunt thinking that it was going to be the highlight of the day. We were greeted though with some heavy-duty karaoke singing. We were busy commenting on the vocal quality at first: This lady sucks... now this guy is not bad. Stuff like that. We then completely ignored these idol wannabes. An hour passed. Two. Three. Wait a minute. It was getting ridiculous. I can understand some weekend stress-reliefing hobbies. But 4 hours of karaoke singing? Even Celine Dion won't be able to make it, I think.

The answer then came after my curious aunt took a quick peek out her kitchen windows. It turned out there was a stage performance set up in the parking lot across the street from our block.

I then learned yet another interesting thing about my people. Apparently, some of us believe in offering more than just food and other necessities to the hungry ghosts during this time of the year: Entertainment. What thoughtful people we are.
So apparently, this type of performance has always been held around this time of the year to entertain these spirits. What makes it even more interesting is what I learned later on. Little things like they used to have peking-opera like performances back in the days. But they are more modernized now, hence the karaoke and mando or hokkien pop songs. More interestingly, the first row of the audience seating will always be left empty for these spirits. And..... the performers have to continue performing whether or not they have any audience within sight. For obvious reason, of course.

Well, I like the culture of my people. We are such respectful and thoughtful people.

So, I didn't feel the need to complain when the singing didn't stop after 5 hours. By the sixth hours, I was beginning to hum along with the singers. By the end of the seventh hour, when they stopped, I found myself wishing they had kept the show going on longer. It was getting too quiet for a night in the month of the hungry ghosts.

Sweating onions

Ever heard of this cooking technique? If you haven't, those of you with cable tv should really watch the food channel more. What interesting and informative programs they have there :)
(My favourite, of course, Iron Chef, what else? --- NOT the American Iron Chef show though. I find the lack of originality so not appealing.)

Anyway, sweating the onions, as far as I know, is supposed to bring out the sweetness in the onions.

Well, that only works for onions.At least I think so.

When you get creative with your ingredient and try sweating a person, most of the time that's really not that an attractive idea. There's definitely nothing sweet about it, ok?

This is precisely why I can't help but curse this evil weather, here in the heartlands (Still can't figure out how they came up with the word heartlanders). As much as I would like to think that there is something sweet about me sweating, I really don't have any evidence to prove it.

Alternative solutions so far:
- Not have any fluid in my body (Kinda' tough to do)
- Design and produce a cooling thermal bodysuit (Slightly easier but still tough)
- Not leave my air-conditioned room for the rest of my stay here (Tempting idea)
- Hypnotize myself into believing that I'm an onion: Nothing but sweetness will come out of all this (Yeah, right!).

I seriously am impressed with all the gorgeous ladies here who walk around like they are only 2 seconds behind the leader within less than 50 meters to the finish line in a triathlon right under the wonderful equatorial sun, but still manage to keep all their make-up intact. I am just so greatful that I am not required to put on any on a day-to-day basis. But seriously, how do you do it, ladies? Super sweat-proof make-up? Anti-perspirant body lotion and face moisturizer? Tatoo all the make up on your faces? A special medical procedure to remove all sweat glands from your body?

Any info would be greatly appreciated.

The seventh month

It officially started a few days ago. Yup, the month of the hungry ghosts is what they call it here.

I respect the tradition and I do believe in spirits as in I believe that there is some form of life or world other than what we can see, hear, feel and touch in this world. Personally I'm perfectly fine with that as long as we respect each other's boundary. Let's just keep to ourselves, basically....I mean isn't it how we can achieve harmony in this world?

My problem is, why the heck do people have to make movies exploiting this idea and furthermore, why do they have to be released during this particular month? Isn't it kind of like mocking them?

(Note: OK, now I realize, 1:38 am in the morning is really not the best time to be writing about this. Scenes from horror movies I've (accidentally) seen keep popping up in my mind and now whatever hair I have at the back of my neck is standing up. But with all due respect, I am not the one mocking the whole idea,ok?)

I guess what bugs me the most is because the most convenient way for me to get home from my classes, which don't end until at least 10 p.m., involves a second bus ride with a route around an industrial park. Not that I'm complaining or anything, I mean I think it's a wonderful place. At least it provides income for numerous people in the labor force. But you have to agree with me, a late night bus ride in that type of area with only you as the passenger at times is not really an attractive idea. Especially that late at night and especially during this particular time of the year. And to make things even lovelier, through the wonderful technology of satellite tv on public transportation, they broadcast the commercials for the latest locally-produced movie of a particularly relevant theme (i.e. horror films), exploiting the festivity celebrated this particular time of the year.

Great. Just great.

All I can say is... harmony and peace for all.
I guess I'll just keep on chanting it to myself while concentrating not to respond to any voices from behind me during my bus rides home.

My missing baby :(

I miss my camera!!!!!!!!

just rattling here...

I'm on the 6th floor and my window faces a man-made lake. There's a pretty decent-size reservoir just right across the street from the building. You can actually go and feed the turtles and fish there if you want. People usually bring their kids there late in the afternoons. I heard my niece and nephew loved it when they came and stayed here.

I can see a lot from my window. The water. The trees along the street. The path around the lake lined by street lights every 20 meters or so. The buildings across the reservoir. They're mostly industrial buildings, unfortunately. There are some blinking lights from some towers there that always seem to catch my eyes. One time I even saw lighthouse-like structure in my first midnight stroll. Other than that, it's pretty typical like any other place in the island.

I like it when I see people enjoying the fake lake,though. Sometimes they're parents trying to catch up with their kids who just decided to take off, while trying to control the stroller with the baby in it. Sometimes they're couples enjoying the wonderfully polluted night air. Sometimes it's just somebody trying to follow doctors' instruction to stay active and exercise. Sometimes it's just a whole bunch of factory workers looking for a free activity.

Aside from the individual joggers, it seems people only go either as a couple or in groups though. Sometimes I'm just curious what they think of me when they see me there in my running shoes (Note: not suggesting any particular activities is being conducted here :P). Perhaps one giant suicidal ham in running shoes? ^_^

For the first time, I am not the youngest in the class anymore. It's actually kind of sad considering the youngsters seem to have achieved much more than I have.

Borgeois bum

July was an interesting month. Never had been so mobile before in my life. I basically dragged myself and half of my junk half way around the world and moved from 2 countries in less than 3 weeks. Only God knows why 'cause I am definitely, totally, clueless why I even considered doing it. I guess perhaps that's what you do when you're a bourgeois bum :P

" Just because people want to eat burgers, doesn't mean they wanna meet the cow." - Mc. Cord, the Island