So, ... I have finally decided (or so I try to convince myself).

I need something new for the new year.
I'm actually quite sad just thinking about it, but at the same time I don't think this is sustainable.

Keep thinking about the people though.
Sad...

Btw, my nephew after waking up in the morning and finding me sitting in front of my laptop :
"Gu-gu (chinese for auntie), is your homework really tough?....... How come you can't seem to finish it?It's been days already...."

I luv kids....

One soft-hearted biatch

I finally did it.
Told my trainer that I thought it'd be best for me to switch trainer as it was getting harder and harder to match our schedules.
I really felt he wasn't cooperating enough. Besides, how the heck is anyone who's not motivated enough to work can motivate someone to go work out?
As my colleagues put it," Heck! I'm a paying customer, ok?!?!?"
How dare he raised his voice at me?!?!?

Funny though.
I kinda feel bad.

My gal pal at work, Miss Faye Faye, was laughing at me for being soft-hearted.
The reason being, I was scolding her for being soft-hearted.
On hindsight, I think she had a better excuse, she was soft-hearted when it comes to her ex.
Me? I'm soft-hearted. Period.
Even when it comes to my personal trainer. Or bosses who take advantage of cheap foreign labor. .... lol.....

My buddy at work was teasing me when I told him I was gonna quit if I wasn't happy with the boss the next day. He said," Are you sure or not? You keep saying the same thing every time leh... "
But you see, to be honest, I really think our boss is not that bad, contrary to some of the things I've been hearing. After all, she did give me the opportunity to try out for this.

By the way, I also feel bad that I've caused some of my friends to worry about me, especially Mr Bunny and Miss Beenz.
If you guys are somehow reading this post, I'm really sorry.
I've just been really drained at work. Aside from the fact that I really had almost no time left for myself, I also didn't want to be dumping all my shit to you.
I had nothing to talk about aside from work.

Things will get better soon. I promise.
At least, I will try to make it better... : )

I keep breaking my record. Left the office at 5 am and reached home by 5.30. crashed and slept till 8 am, when I jumped out of bed to take my shower and then head back to office.



I need to break this vicious cycle!



Had to go and get some eye cream this evening. I just decided I really need to see something else other than my desk, my room, my car and the food court where we usually go for lunch.

Enough is enough.



So I went shopping instead. Kinda just HAVE to get a new white top. I had just realized that most of my white blouses are either stained, lost their brightness or got some other problems.



I ended up with an eye cream, a black skirt, a pair of slacks and 2 tops for work. Talk about some retail therapy huh?

baby step

It's my first day back at the gym after a really long while.

20 mins on the cross-trainer (with almost no resistance, hahaha), 5 mins on the stationary bike (again, kindergarten level) and 40 mins of circuit training.

nothing remotely close to the intensity of training last year, or even earlier this year, before i started work.

but hey, i'm still quite happy. at least i stepped back to gym. ^_^

one tiny baby step at a time, girl.
one tiny baby step at a time. .......

Life - or something like it

It's 5 mins to midnite and I'm still in the office.
All by myself.

Those close to me can vouch for me: I am the biggest chicken in the whole world.
Yet, I am strangely ok with staying here at the wonderful 35th floor all by myself.
(What freaks me a bit is getting to the 34th floor from the emergency staircase :P).

I am supposed to be rushing 2 sections of this particular regional market study, but I'm just plain burnt-out. In dire need for a break then remembered I haven't updated my blog for a while. I recently found out that template I had been using had somehow gone haywire and my blog has been looking pretty neglected, especially with no posts whatsoever the past few weeks.
Too lazy (and no time!!!) to look for template, I just went for one of the standard ones.

The past few weeks have been mostly nothing but work. It has been all about slaving myself away monday-friday (plus two saturdays, and inclusive of one public holiday spent here at my desk). Oh and some nite-outs with my colleagues.
With all the crap we have to put up with, we strongly believe we need some heavy-duty de-stressing.

The past few weeks, I only go home to throw myself on my bed, jumping back up and rushing back to office a few hours after that.

I have been joking about getting a sleeping bag, stuffing my stuff in my car, and moving in to the office. I can always go to shower at Cali-Fit. There you have it: My contribution to all the "green" movement that's all the buzz nowadays (not to mention, savings from not actually having to drive my car).

I got into an accident a few weeks ago. Pretty bad in some ways yet not as bad in others. I am totally convinced by now that God is really, extremely nice to me. And I totally have no idea why I might have done in my previous life to deserve such nice treatment.
And knowing that I fully do not deserve it just makes me freak out even more.

Anyway, as I said, got nothing much to update.

Oh haven't been to the gym for the past 2 months. Seriously cannot make it there with all this crap going on.

(Note to self: Be thankful. Be greatful that someone actually is giving u a chance)

Sigh....

Oh Mr. Bunny is gonna go for R.O.M in January with Mrs. Bunny, a.k.a. Ade.

And he refused to have a bachelor's party.

Sigh... (not that I could come anyway)

Ok, it's 10 mins past midnite. Better get back to my work.

My record was 00.10 yesterday. I'm getting better and bettter.
00.11 restart work instead of packing home.

Life? Where are you?

A very nice colleague just shared with me one of his favorite quotes (which I'm too lazy too google around for), that the true character of a person is not reflected during his success, but when he manages to pick himself up and again.

I think that's a really good one, OKS!Thanks again for sharing.

Exactly what I need right now, I think.....

Another day in paradise

I'm having a rather bad day, I suppose.
Or weekend for that matter.

It bugs the hell out of me that I have totally no clue whatsoever what is bugging me right now.
I am just totally bugged out.
And unfortunately, no.... it's not that time of the month.
How I wish it were that time of the month.... that would make it all so logical.

I am simply pissed off..... for reasons that I am not even sure of.

I do have some guesses, but really I can't tell which one of them is causing this.
Or maybe it's actually all of them combined?I really don't know.

Totally pissed off at myself right now...

Seriously, I don't mean to stereotype people, but here's one difference I notice between Asian guys and the so-called Westerners or "ang-moh"s as they are referred to here on this island.

I find that ang-moh guys either open / hold the doors for ladies, or they simply don't (which doesn't happen very often, as far as I know).
Whereas in the case for Asian guys, ..... again I don't want to generalize -- I know perfectly clear that there are exceptions...., but there are just so many ridiculous conditions for these gentlemen-wannabes.
It all depends, you see.... Is it potential gf? gf? wife? Cute chick @ 7-11?
If not, chances are.... they may just give the opening / holding door thing a pass.

Sorry but I can't help but feel that it's one of the most ridiculous things in the world. I don't believe in split personalities. I know everyone has multiple personas based on the different roles that they play, but c'mon..... it's either you're a gentleman, or you're not! I'm sorry lor but I don't think there's any way you can be a perfect gentleman to your girlfriend/ potential girlfriend/ wife/ cute chick @ 7-11 but a total jerk to everyone else.

Just to clarify, I do not need anyone to open my doors at all. I am fully capable of opening my own doors. Sometimes I even open doors or hold elevator doors for guys who shamelessly walk out without even saying thanks, but hey....it's perfectly fine by me! At least they don't try to be someone who they're not (at least from what little I could gather from my brief seconds-long encounter with the strangers).

As for anyone out there who's doing the selective gentleman moment thing, please wake up.
You're not a gentleman, ok?! Sorry to burst your bubble......but unfrtunately you're not a gentleman lor.....

So...? Wanna reconsider? I think you might as well just drop the whole being-a-perfect-gentleman thing and just move on and enjoy your life.
I can imagine how troublesome it is to play the role of someone who you're really not.

Don't cha?

It can be a bit disturbing when you have a middle-aged ( and I mean MIDDLE-aged) cleaning lady at your gym trying to sing along to the Pussycat Doll's Don't cha? with her (really) broken english.....

Yup. Rolled-up sleeves and pants and all while mopping the floor in the changing room.

What a way to start your day.

Farewell

Today was the last day at work for my dear friend, Miss Wong.

Considering what a cry baby I am, I am a bit surprised to find that I didn't cry at all.
Well, ... maybe partly because I already cried a bit the other day when she showed our buddy Mr Ong and me the snack box she had carefully prepared and hid so well for us.

I just thought it was really sweet of her. She bought all the snacks that we had previously tried and liked. She must have burnt quite a hole in her pocket from all those japanese snacks.

Anyway, we had our farewell lunch -- a teochew porridge buffet -- earlier today. Then at 6 pm we went for dessert at this really nice chinese dessert place nearby.
It's becoming a tradition it seems for us.

Then there were four,.... now there are two.

Think Mr. Ong also can't wait to leave. And I have been telling him and everybody else, that the day he leaves, I will follow suit.

I hate to be left behind like this. That's one of the things that make goodbyes even harder I think.

Well, I just hope we'll be keeping in touch.

And here's wishing you all the best, Miss Wong! Unlikely as it is, I hope you'll find new colleagues who are cooler than us.

I will definitely miss the company during my drive home every day.

One night in Sg

I was late yesterday for a movie with some of my buddies from work.
Boss called me in to her office a bit late in the day and was stuck there for a while. Show was to start at 6.40 and I only managed to wait for the office lift at 6.25 pm.
My friends had already walked their way to the theatre by then.

Anyway, after picking up Miss Wong who went downstairs first to get dinner, we made a run for it. Got lucky and found a spot really close to the escalator.

Anyway, thanks to the commercials, we didn't really miss anything.

After the show, my "westerners" buddies and a new westerner friend headed to the carpark, as I usually drop my buddies off at this one MRT station in the west.

At least that was the plan.

Somehow, despite frantically exploring the carpark waving my remote control as if it was some kind of magic wand that will help in the apparition of the car, my beloved car was nowhere to be found.

After about 20 mins or so, I was getting a bit upset. I had to work on a report and a presentation that night and I really could not afford to waste time. I was already taking a huge risk by going out to catch the show, but I really did not want to miss it, especially with such good company. I really needed a bit of fun.

Anyway, it was getting ridiculous as I knew for sure that I was at the right side of the huge mall.
Right at the moment,I saw two police officers appear out of nowhere. Before I knew it, I was already running towards them.

After quietly listening to me spilling my heart out about how ridiculous it was, I noticed there was not any sign of urgency or actually intention to help at all. They were really cool about the whole thing. Too cool even now that I think of it.

At one point, after several Q&As, one of the officers commented:" This is quite a tricky car park, Mam. Maybe you can look around again."
I think I must have shot him a nasty look, coz then the second officer grinned awkwardly and said,"Uhm.... Actually...., we're also trying to locate our vehicle, Mam."

DUH???

THAT'S IT, MAN!!!
I mean...., c'mon.... how do you lose a freakin' police car??????

Combining this and my previous encounter with the local cops, I think now I have right about... oh I don't know... maybe 0.000000000000001% respect left for them?

But on the other hand, though, now I have something to remember that can crack me up when I'm feeling down.

Oh and by the way, I found the car.
No, it didn't apparate out of thin air. And the officers certainly did not help. They actually disappeared after telling me to call them if I still can't find my car. Yea rite... as if that's gonna help.

Anyway, apparently, I was having so much fun talking to my buddies that I went down one floor further than I needed to.

So all in all, despite getting only 1-hr sleep yesterday trying to catch up with work after the outing, it was a good one. At least a very interesting one.... to me.

Oh and the movie, ... It was my very first time catching a local production and I was actually quite impressed. The title is 881 and apparently it's been doing very well in the theatres. And I really lurrrve one of the soundtracks. So much so that I'm wondering whether or not it's worth it to get the CD.
I suspect my aunt may enjoy the songs.

Bro's in town. I picked up him up at the airport late last nite.
Unfortunately, the pisang goreng end and brownies end up as gifts for my relatives. Didn't exactly get anything from him.
So I was quite happy to "score" a fancy skipping rope from him.
He voluntarily offered it to me in return for a promise that I will learn how to skip.
Interesting coz it was just the day before that my trainer tried to start me on skipping.

You see... Sometimes I'm amazed at how smooth God has made my life to be.
Just the other day, I realized that I learned how to ride a bike without falling. Come to think of it, I can't recall any major fall from riding a bicycle before.

Anyway, so I have a new project: To learn how to skip. I hear it works wonders in weight loss program. So I'm thinking it would be great if I can do it on alternate days when I don't go to the gym.

(NOTE TO SELF: YOU'RE RUNNING SHORT OF TIME, MAN!!!! KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE BALL!!!)

YAY! MORE PROJECTS!!! HOPEFULLY MORE COMMISSION!!!

a report revision, a new proposal and a (fancy) powerpoint presentation.
any chance I can wrap it up in 24 hours?

Double recap

The past one week or so passed by like nobody's business.
There were several occasions I really wanted to post something but either forgot or was just so dead beat, so exhausted that I almost fell asleep driving home from work.
Don't ask me why I am so tired. So many people have asked if I was that busy.
My answer has been: I'm busy trying to look busy.
^_^

So, here's the recap:

04/07/07:
I did remember that day. I wanted to post something short just to remind myself that it had been exactly 2 years since the last July 4th fireworks I went to.

05/07/07:
The day marked the two years since I uprooted myself for the second time from a place I really had grown to love. No regrets though, since I think I have gained some despite losing some.

07/07/07:
I read in the newspaper that 777 couples were to register their marriages that day. I remember wondering whether there was any chance at all that I would find my soul mate by 09/09/09. HAHAHAHA...... (dream away.....).
Despite the rather depressing outlook though, someone showed up online that afternoon and brighten up my day. And I mean really BRIGHTEN up my day.....

10/07/07:
(Re-cap): Mom and Dad were in town to attend my convocation. Though there was a bit of a commotion coz I was still at the office after 6 o'clock, it all worked out just fine. I didn't get a chance to freshen up or anything, but who cares...... I just hope I have made it up to my parents for the other convocation they missed. I bet they hardly picked up 10% of what the speech was all about. After the convocation, Mom asked me why a few people had extraordinarily cute-looking hats instead of mortar boards. When I told her that those are people who graduated with PhDs, she commented: " Why don't you go for one then? 'Coz those are cute.....".
Yup.... that's my mom, alright.... as if I would even consider slaving myself away for a few years just to wear the darn hat in a single occasion? I mean, it's not like it's something you might wear to the mall for God's sake.

Oh and at the convocation, I finally met Raphael and Ethan, two of my "classmates" whom I had never met in person after they were born. You see, their moms had them halfway through our program and despite my promises to drop by and see those two boys, I could never made it before.

And yesterday, I went to Central @ Clarke Quay with Miss Wong and Mr. Ong, my new buddies at work. We went there for dinner with Miss Koh who resigned not long after I started at my current job. We hit it off quite well so we've kinda been in touch and there have been talks about gatherings and outings ever since.

Lemme see... what else....

Oh I really can't wait to catch the latest Harry Potter movie.

A colleague at work said this afternoon that I am a 开心果 (kai xin guo). I couldn't understand why she would associate me with pistacchio at first, since the word as far as I know refers to the nut. It tursn out the word can also mean something else. The life of the party, according to yet another colleague.
Although I am not sure I agree, but I am quite happy that at least someone actually associates me with the word 开心 (kai xin) or happy.
Call me an under-achiever, but I feel that it's quite an achievement on its own.

a sundae-less sunday

I decided to pamper myself with a boxed set of the fifth season of Gilmore Girls.
Simply coz it's the latest season I could find at the one and only Borders in the city.
I've gobbled up 4 and going thru my fifth episode. Some of them I've actually seen, but it's still all good.
I just hope I'll be able to find the last season after this.
Oh I also got a really cute paisley covered sketchbook for my work notebook.
I've been using sketchbooks as notebooks for the past few years and by now I have almost zero tolerance for ruled notebooks.
It took my cousin and I a good half an hour ransacking the stationery section at Borders. I had hoped to find the same suede or any leather-bound sketchbooks I used to get at Borders in Chicago. But as I should've expected, there was nothing even remotely close.
I'm quite happy with the spiral wire-bound plastic paisley notebook though. It's really quite pretty, though I'm still not crazy about the wire-bound.

Oh, and I got a haircut today @ Wheelock.
And all I can say is, is gonna take a lot. A WHOLE DAMN LOT. to ever convince me to get a haircut here in the island. ever. again.
talk about some seriously old-looking fifth-grader here.
Gosh. I just know that I'm gonna get such a hard time about my hair cut from a good friend that's coming to town this friday.
Yup. Mr. Girbo is coming to town.

Gosh. Can't believe it's gonna be monday in a few hours. It's gonna be a really long week I'm sure.
I miss Friday already. ....

(And whowas it that just said she loved her new job? haha.....)

just babbling....

I got my confirmation letter yesterday.
Someone asked if I got a raise. I think it's way too early for that. I don't have anything significant to show yet.
I did finally present my report to the client the day before that although with no voice from throat infection, my boss had to help me present about 3/4 of the 92 slides I prepared. I took over the last 1/4 when my boss couldn't really handle the nitty gritty part.
She did say I performed very well in the presentation. I just hope she really meant it.

I've just realized I haven't posted anything for several weeks.
Well, the truth is, life has been pretty much all about work, sleep, gym (once in a blue moon), and nothing else.
"That's pathetic," a friend commented.
What can I say..... I AM pathetic?

I actually am very interested in my work, as it allows me to gain exposure to such a wide range of projects. The only problem I feel I am having now is communication and team work. I can't seem to shed the feeling that I am still an outsider to my team. Even colleagues from other department noticed that since I seem to click much better with them.

Not that it's bothering me that much though. As I was telling another good friend here, I am quite thick skinned by now, and I am really giving myself a lot of slack. I think very few things get to me now. I told the friend: If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out.

Last saturday I went out with my local buddies and I had the best pizza since I left the windy city. Not that it was anywhere near the pizano cornmeal crust pizza I love so much, but it definitely was the best thing I have had for quite a while. the best part though was not the food but the company. It was really nice just to hang out and chill, despite my deep-throat whispers.

Oh by the way, I am actually a tad excited about the upcoming convocation. The reason?
Not that I'm that crazy about convos, but I think there are some people in my family who might appreciate the invitation. I might be wrong, but I sure hope I'm not coz I actually had to pull some strings to get extra tickets.
Also, it will be really nice to get to see my classmates again, as a class, you see....
Dang it's so hard to get these people to get together.
Am I crazy? Am I the only person who actually enjoys hanging out with them?

Oh and actually my PR has been approved but I just haven't been able to complete the actual paperwork. It just reminds me of a question someone asked me a while back: "Is it really what you want? What do you plan to do with it?"
My answer at the time was a simple " I dunno"....... And sadly, the answer remains the same.
Haha....
I just think it might come in handy in the future. You never know, man....

Old habits die hard. So, as usual, I have a list of plans I'm really interested in doing.
A sorta wish list , I suppose. Though I'm perfectly aware that it's way too early for a new set of new year resolutions, I thought it'd be good to jot'em down:

• Reach healthy weight before my next b'day (THE BIGGEST ITEM ON THE LIST)
• Restart my "learn mandarin" program
• Go back for french classes
• Go back to yoga classes
• Golf lessons (note: financial sponsor badly needed for this)
• US trip in one beautiful fall with plenty of vibrant colors from the foliage
• Do volunteer work of some sort ( hm.... I think I'm starting to get way too imaginative for my own good)
• One last very important thing: REFORMAT my brain and take out the part that's causing the delusional mode I can't quite shake off just yet despite my promise to myself.

Btw, I can't wait for Gwen Stefani to perform here.

I definitely want to go.

Finally......

I'VE FOUND MY CHOCOLATE!!!

Over the past year or so, I think I have tried almost everything from 55% to 99% cocoa but were not really able to find something that really fits me.

Yesterday, I ended up with Lindt's Ecuador 75% cocoa....
And I wish I could find the right word to express my feelings, but I can't. Haven't found it at least.

It's just so darn perfect for me.


Yea...yea... I know... it still has tons of sugar, and it definitely is a stumbling block in my program. But the way I look at it, life without chocolate is pretty much meaningless....
Well, that and life without mango, too.....
(While we're at that, can we probably add ice cream too?)
^_^

I was a bit bummed today at work. Nope... it wasn't because of my report (which I still haven't finished by the way, thanks to the constant distraction provided by the source of my "bummed" mood).

I was a bit bummed after finding out that this cooky gal at work is quitting and next Wednesday is gonna be her last day. I must say, she's been most entertaining and most importantly, one of the most helpful people, at work.

I think she's the person I can relate to the most at work. Almost the same personality type, I believe; and I'm quite sure I'll really miss having her around.

But what the heck..... nothing I can do about itm now...

So, ..... to a particular Miss Koh who has just got her hair done (almost perfectly straight) for her new journey in a few days:

ALL THE BEST!

I sure hope we'll keep in touch.

I want mommy.....

I'm quite ashamed of what a big baby I've turned into.
No, I'm not talking about my size, though that is still an issue.... an increasing one, even.
I'm talking about the baby part.
Mom was here for about a week after her China trip. She decided to extend her plan to stay for 2-3 days, to make sure she could accompany my aunt to the doctor on Tuesday.
Anyway, she left this afternoon, and I kinda' miss having her around already.

My brother once asked why my mom and I don't seem to do the mother-daughter manja-ing thing. I'm sure most girls would know what I'm talking about.
Nope. We definitely don't do that.

Mom says sometimes distance is good, and I'm with her on this.
Just look at us.
Distance does help with a lot of things that might be a bit overwhelming or slightly annoying at times.
I think it works almost like a vaccination (Back to the baby theme).
Just a tiny bit of the virus, one tiny dose at a time. You'll be good to go.

Btw, is it true that Miss Japan just won Miss Universe?
My ex-mandarin tutor used to tell me that the 21st century is the era of Asia as he explained his take on the meaning behind the chinese character "huang" (yellow).
All I can say is: You go, girl!!!!Gambatte ne!!

AAAAAARRGGHH.....!!!!!

It's darn hard to stay on track with my program without turning into an anti-social.
*super bummed right now*

A whole lotta crap

I submitted my first draft to my boss today. The very first report I am supposed to do in my current job.
65 pages in total, including charts, tables and all. It sure is a whole lotta crap though.....
After no breakthrough in trying to find a solutions to the problem. I tried my best to downplay the bad stuff and yet stay away from painting too beautiful of a picture lest we get sued later.

I can't even remember what I wrote. I just hope the boss finds it usable.
Coz I had a nightmare a few days ago that I got into trouble with my second boss because of this report. I remember in my dream, she said it was a piece of crap.

Anyway, this boss who will be reviewing the report will be travelling for a few days. She won't be back until later next week. After which I will have to revise the report based on her feedback over the weekend.
That's why I'm nervous and really praying there won't be too many changes to be done. I don't want to work on weekends.

I need sleep.....

I am cheap foreign labor

So,..... Happy Labor Day to me! YAY!

It's kinda nice how my first pay check from this new job came the day before the local labor day.

I know I could've / should've saved the money instead of doing this, but I really feel like giving my relatives here a treat.
I mean, my gramps are already in their late 70s. God knows how many chances I have left to treat them a decent meal, especially since grandma has been rather concerned that I might not survive or even get bullied at work for some reasons (I didn't know that I was that incompetent in her eyes..... hahahah my silly gramps). My aunts and uncles have been a really huge help and my dad happens to be in town, too. Even my little cousins are awfully nice (one of them even bought the two of us matching stuffed piglets knowing that I loved cute stuffed piglets. Shoot... I've just remembered it's her b'day. I have to figure out what to get her. ASAP before dim sum lunch this afternoon).
So there goes my first pay check after this afternoon. To the nice people I have been blessed to have as my family.

But that's ok.....
Family time... priceless.
For everything else, there's always Mastercard, right?
(Or in my case Visa :P)

My kryptonite

I was looking for some mp3s I would like to have in my new phone (courtesy of my lovely mom and bro), and I almost bawled my eyes out when I went through my Earl Klugh folder.
Times like this I really wish I could blame the bluecactus-dimcorner duo for stuffing my head with Earl Klugh. Well not all of his work of course,.... I have highly limited space in my "harddrive" in case you don't remember.
While I am almost certain that most of his songs can really take me places, this one particular "Till the End of Time" to me is almost as bad as kryptonite is to Superman.

Anyway, I think now I'm more stressed out because of the new phone than I am because of my new job.
It's not like I don't appreciate the gift, but I have always been a loyal Nokialite as far as I can remember. Even when I was stuck with other phones previously, I was always eyeing Nokia. I think I have actually sworn after I got my last 7610 (again, a really sweet gift from Mom), that I would never ever ever go for any other brand other than Nokia.
And look where I am today.

I am stuck with my new phone, and I am finding all the fancy stuff a bit overwhelming.
I wanted a simple Nokia E 61i but my brother insisted it looked really ugly, and chose this one instead.
I am a bit bummed that I can't use my mp3s as my ringtone.

Anyway, I suppose I'd better move on.

Oh yeah... a lot of people have been asking ( and I mean a lot!) anout my new job.
So far, I find that my colleagues are really quite fun. I suppose the fact that I am a little late in my "growing up" process might help a bit. Hahaha..... so I can still relate to them you see....since I have just found out that one of them just graduated from primary school when I started my first year in college.
Dang... finding out about this just accelerated my aging process. hahahahaha.....
I felt really old .. well just for a split second before I completely forgot about it again (until now, of course).

I also just found out over the weekend that some of my classmates from my last program are making more than twice my current salary. I would be lying if I said that it didn't get to me at all, but.... for some reason I really don't feel that it's that big of a deal.
The way I look at it, I am slightly behind, coz I went slightly off track, but I seriously think I'm heading the right way this time.
I can really see myself doing this kind of work in the long run, believe it or not.
Now, if only I can somehow reconcile my expectation with the fact that this particular field of work in this particular sector is quite notorious for its low pay.

One of my friends asked today if I feel excited at all about going to work when I wake up in the morning.
Although it took me a few seconds, I am still quite impressed that I actually said yes.
SO there you go...., I love my low-paying job!
And for that matter, while it is giving me a headache, I love my new phone too!
Thanks, Boss (for the job)! Thanks, Mom and Bro(for the phone)!
And thanks to you, bluecactus and dimcorner, for introducing me to one of my all-time favorite songs ( although I seriously feel as weak as Superman in krytonite-filled bathtub right now).

One week anniversary: Me *heart* job

So there you go....
My first week at my new job ended up with a Friday 13th.
I'm not really sure whether or not that's a sign of anything to come. ^_^

So far my new colleagues seem to be really nice.
I've been going out with them for lunches the past week since I thought it would be a good chance to get to know them better. And today a whole bunch of us (including 2 pregnant colleagues) squeezed ourselves at a tiny table at the food court and had lunch together.
It was quite fun actually....but unfortunately I'm afraid I might not be able to do it as often come next Monday, as I really need to get back to my program.
(I gained 3 kg in a week, for cryin' out loud!!!)

I have just realized a few seconds ago, that I almost forgot I actually signed up for this particular workshop this Saturday.
The ironic thing is that.... part of the workshop is on how to increase your brain power to improve your memory.
I suppose it just goes to show how critically important it is for me to attend this workshop :P

First day

Nervous.
Clueless.
Tired but can't possibly sleep ( ended up dozing off a few times. I am keeping my fingers crossed that nobody except the colleague next to me noticed).
Went to attend the wake for a classmate's father.
Gosh, I'm too tired to even come up with full sentences.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........................

Hope Mom,Dad and Gramps are enjoying their trip.
Hope I don't get fired before end of my probation.
Hope I don't embarass myself at work.
Hope I'll find out that my bosses and new colleagues are genuinely nice people.
Hope.........

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz................

I wanna get twitterized but I can't seem to get it done correctly.
: (

Me? Green?

(Previous title: I AM GREEN!! Revised title to avoid potential misinterpretation as pointed out by chicagodimcorner)

I've started counting down to a few events.
There's the wacky clan gathering this weekend to celebrate my maternal gramps' 60th anniversary (I'm gonna be missing this quiet peace that I have right now at this moment). There's also my parents and my gramps' trip to China (I'm involved as the planner despite my not joining them in the trip, so I'm a bit stuck). Then of course, there is this coming Monday, which oh-by-the-way is going to be my first day at work in my new job.
I just had a really tiring day and I am going to have another great, long day tomorrow.
I wish I had Heroes' Hiro Nakamura power to stop time.

I've noticed how people keep pointing out at how good my life is.
It's not that I'm denying it: I am fully aware at how good my life is, as I think I have mentioned tons of time to almost everybody I know.
(Ooops... I suppose it's my own fault for pointing it out to everybody in the first place :P)

But then again, I am having problem figuring out why people have to focus so much on how the grass is greener on the on the other side.
I mean I do envy some people sometimes, but not all the time. Only once in a while and even then it's almost always just for a minute or two of daydreaming and that's it.
Of course, occasionally I might wonder if things had been different had I done some things differently, but I think I stop feeling that life is in anyway better for others.
God(s) has (have) been really nice to me by giving me an imperfect life to live. My totally imperfect self. My totally imperfect brain.My totally imperfect family. My totally imperfect life.
And it's all GOOD.

As a kid, I went through a period in which I thought God was playing a really cruel joke on me. I went through a rather long period of self-loathing, people-loathing, world-loathing, and all that crap, but I got through it and I think I stopped seeing the greener grass on the other side a while back. Most of the time now I only see a different shade of green now,be it emerald or jade, forest green or fern green, jungle green or sea green.
I see a different type of grass texture perhaps. A different root, a different length. That's it.

I suppose that's why it kind of gets to me sometimes when people come up to me and tell me in an envious tone at how good my life is or how fortunate or lucky I am compared to who and who.
The way I look at it, everybody's got their own sh*t to deal with. And mine is definitely gonna be different than yours.
And who knows what the real sh*t is that you're dealing with? So when we're in no way directly comparable to each other, how to tell when my side is greener than yours?

To me, all this talk about being green or greener is basically comparable to Brainy Smurf pointing out to Papa Smurf at how blue he is, or Doc or Sneezy pointing out to Grumpy that he's a dwarf.

So to all these people that I have been in contact with, let me just say:
ARE YOU COLOR BLIND? We're all GREEN!!!

Good morning, sunshine!

There are definitely times when I can't believe how nice GOD(s) is to me.
And this morning is definitely one of those days.
I wished for something just last night, and I got exactly what I wished for this morning.
7.42 am local time. Boy... GOD can sure be quite efficient some time.

After a follow-up appointment at the doctor's, I was initially planning to go shop for some decent work outfits (It won't be funny to run out of clothes to wear on a weekday, I don't think).
However, the idea of shopping on a saturday afternoon I suppose has somehow developed into a nightmarish picture to me. I chickened out and decided to stay at home instead.
I was ready to just decompose for the day, when my grandparents came home early.
Just one look at them and I knew how bored they were (thanks to those kids and grand kids who are so busy they can't even spare an hour or so every few weeks to just drop by and say hi).
Suddenly, I had one of my lightbulb moments and one word popped out: MAHJONG.

So my grandma and I had our first Mahjong 101 session with Grandpa as the instructor. It was quite fun to see how Grandma went from coyly peeking at Grandpa and me every once in a while, repeating every other minute or so that she knows nothing about mahjong, to dragging her own chair to join us. Before we knew it, she was already developing her own style in picking up her tiles and yelling PONG! like nobody's business. By the time we called it the day, a few hours had passed without us realizing it.

I'm just glad I chickened out of shopping today. It sure was more than worth it to see my grandpa's face lit up when I suggested that he teach me how to play the game. I'm just glad I found them something to do. Maybe next time I can arrange for a weekly mahjong game for them.

the good (intentions), the bad (girl) and the ugly (outcome)

There's a saying in Indonesian:
Semut di seberang lautan tampak, gajah di pelupuk mata tiada tampak.
It basically refers to how one can clearly see "an ant" across the ocean, while being oblivious to "the elephant" right under one's nose.

Interesting how fast people can judge a situation, "pinpoint" exactly the problem, and identify the culprit responsible for the situation, literally from thousands of miles away.
It didn't help that I pointed out that he had never been in my situation.
It didn't help that all the while I was thinking: "You are not even here. What do you know?"
It didn't help that at the back of my mind I kept thinking: "Speak for yourself.... Do you know how many complains I have received about you?"
It certainly didn't help also that I lost my cool and raised my voice when I felt I was being attacked, for a decision I made thinking that was the best for everyone.
It certainly sucks being the youngest in the family.

Anyway,
I really had no intention and I still fail to see how such a tiny decision of mine, driven by nothing but good intentions, can hurt anyone or at the very least negatively affect anyone in any way.
I really don't see why it has to be blown out ouf proportion like this. I came up with that idea with nothing but good intentions in mind.

It's interesting how some outsiders feel that I pay too much attention to my family's needs and wants, that I am not living my own life so to speak, while some insiders feel that I am a self-centered, spoilt brat, who cares about nothing but myself.
I find it a bit funny actually when I try to zoom out and look at the whole thing.

Anyway, this whole thing just reminds me of something that crossed my mind the other day.
I was watching a tv show and there was this dialog in i about a past mistake: A wrong decision again done with nothing but good intentions in mind, that might have hurt someone.
It reminded me of something I decided to do, and actually did, a few years ago.
Sometimes, just once in a blue moon perhaps, the cheesy bit in me would wonder if I somehow had hurt anyone's feelings. But at the same time, the critical rational bit in me goes: "Neahhhh....You did the best you could, girl!"
And then all's well again in my self-centered land....
I guess ...

There's someone that I really wish I could have a chat with right now, but I suppose there's no point in trying to talk to someone who doesn't really enjoy talking to you.

The lazy bum in me is using my knee as an excuse to skip my training.
For the most part though, I still think it is the best thing to do.
I'd rather wait until I get the doc's approval on Saturday before I start kicking again.

Big bang

Saw this while waiting at the doctor's today:

Son: "How much does it cost to get married, Dad?"
Father: " I'm not sure, Son.... I'm still paying for it now."

Got tons of stuff to do before I can start my new job, but my biggest problem now is my critically low level of confidence.
Pre-employment anxiety attack?
I really wish I could go out and jog right now. I bet it will feel really good, if not for my cranky left knee. I hope it turns out to be nothing major or permanent.

By the way, I really have to train myself to speak softer FAST. Wonder if anyone has ever failed their probation period at work for being too loud.

On a side note, we had our family photo taken a few weeks back when I was back home for CNY. I have always enjoyed, or actually admired, this particular photographer's work so I decided to ask him to take a picture of me, myself and I.
I have been really curious about the results and I finally got to see it today thanks to my Mom who sent it along with some documents I asked for.

*So happy*

Never in my life have I seen such a fancy picture...... with ME in it!!!!!
Call me a self-centered biatch if you want, I couldn't care less.
I definitely want a BIGASS print of that photo, even if it's going to take forever before I can afford a decent place of my own where I can put it up.
And it will definitely be on my personal list of priceless worldly possessions.

---------------------

An accident happened around the corner, just in front of our block while I was working on this post.
There was a short screeching sound before a really loud BANG.
The first kay-poh instinct in me tip-toed in high speed (to avoid disturbing my gramps who were already fast asleep) to the window but couldn't get any view. Not willing to give up, I speed-tip-toed again to the front door, thinking I would go downstairs to get a real close-up view.
As I was reaching out for the door, I suddenly froze.
"What if it gets really bloody?" I thought.
"What if the scene looks like something out of a horror movie? what if there are kids involved?"
I don't think I could've handled that. Although in hindsight, I doubt any parents with a straight mind will drag their kids around with them at 1 am in the morning during weekdays.

So I walked back to my room not realizing that my cousin were joining his parents in their room to watch the whole thing from the parents' window. He told me later that the accident involved a cab and a silver sedan.

So there you go... why the title for today's post is what it is : )
As for the casualties, my cousin thinks both drivers survived, albeit with some injuries of course.

Does it still count as a compliment when someone tells you:
"You're pretty lah.......(a short silence)....... I mean, ... I can see what you'll look like once you slim down."

Sometimes I wonder how a girl is supposed to take such a thing.

To have a perfect stranger, whom you have met less than 10 minutes in total, list out some really personal traits of mine was really an interesting experience.
Something he said though just strengthened my faith in the power of prayers and persistence.

Parents are great but they are even more amazing as grandparents.

My grandparents are really amazing people and I suppose my parents take after them.

In the case of my wacky parents, they take grand-parenting to a whole new level of wackiness.

Who else would lug BBQ pork, roti prata, chicken rice, tau-pok and the likes almost every single time they fly back home from this tiny blip on the blue planet? My dad who doesn't even step into a wet market back home would even go and volunteer to do the shopping himself.

(I just hope my lucky niece and nephew can see how lucky they are)

The downside of this, of course,.... I feel a tad guilty whenever I don't do the same thing for those wacky kids of my brother's.

You see... they're just too wacky to be true, ...... just the way I love them to be.

God knows what the heck they're doing in this picture, but it shouldn't be that hard to guess who instigated the whole thing.

the OUCH factor

Out of curiosity, I decided to experience what Threading is all about.
One word to describe it: .... OUCH!!!!
I almost swore I would never go for it again, before I realize how relatively short the pain was compared to my trying to tweeze my eyebrows myself.
Now for the latter, I not only get the same amount if not more pain, and I also lose time (due to lack of experience).

I used to have a very nice roomie who would help me out in this area. I really do miss her.....
(for more reasons that her excellent --and free!-- eyebrow-shaping service.
HAHAHA!

I can't believe how girly-girl I sound...... and VAIN also!
SHAME ON YOU, CHOCOHOLIC! SHAME ON YOU!!!!

sub·sti·tu·tion

Interestingly, two different yet almost similar things are going on in my life.
Well, at least in my mind..... and at least some parts of them are quite comparable to each other.

What would you do when you have a wish, a dream or a fantasy that you have been holding on to for a really long time, with very little sign of it becoming a reality anytime soon?
And all that you have to hold on to is hope, and a gut feeling that it is your destiny, well... maybe not to that extreme, but just this really weird sort of sixth sense that it is meant to be.

But then of course, it can very well be that you are just being delusional after years and years of convincing yourself that it is what it is.

Back to the dream.

So, after waiting and waiting for a while, or actually... make that a really long while, what would you do when someone offers you something else in place of this dream or fantasy?

"Take (Do) this and forget about that one." this person says to you.

The idealist, or at least the idealist-wannabe in me, would say "I really appreciate it. Thanks, but no, thanks."
The idealist me is saying that you don't achieve anything without perseverance and persistence. The idealist me is saying that one must stay true to his or her goal.

(By now you should have a pretty clear idea of how many cheesy movies and books I have come across in my life. I blame all the Chicken Soup series I gobbled up in high school.)

Where does one draw the line between persistence and ignorance?
Between bravery and foolishness?
Between perseverance and mere insanity?
Between patience and stupidity?

While mulling over these questions, I stumbled upon this:
Though we have heard of stupid haste in war, cleverness has never been seen associated with long delays.
- Sun Tzu -

So, now it's confirmed and I'm congratulating myself as I type, for it might be my highest achievement in life: A candidate for the biggest fool in the world.

Chat me not

I just got off the phone a few minutes ago with this poor friend of mine.
He called just for a quick chat, a quick hello, and I managed to torture him for about 2 hours?!?!?!?

Geesh.... sometimes I really wish I could shut myself up.
Where the heck did I get this super ability to chat like there's no tomorrow?

I think they should include me as the latest addition to the characters in the TV series HEROES: The girl who can kill people with her chattiness.
(Btw, I LURRRRVE that show!!! GO HIRO NAKAMURA!!!)
They have to pay me a fee to actually develop that character though.

Anyway, so people: Beware now! Call me not when you are not ready to face the dire consequence of death by speech.

YIPEE!!!
If nothing goes wrong, I might actually find myself a new accomodation. A new place for myself, also at a marginal cost, thanks to the wonderfully large extended family that I have. And what's even better, I might actually get the whole place for myself!!!!
Of course then again, I should probably not count my chickens before they hatch.

Still, I still need to thank my wacky aunt (who also took care of me as a toddler) and her husband.

To be honest, now I'm getting a bit more anxious about finding a job soon.
The idea of a crappy job with low pay now doesn't look half that bad with this incredibly cheap housing option.

One heck of a lucky girl

Sometimes I'm really amazed at what a blessed life I have.
So much so nowadays I often find it hard to believe how miserable I let myself feel as a kid.
I really can't figure out what I have done to deserve such a good life.

I remember someone said I was crazy when I told her that I was nervous about how good my life was and that I was really afraid that something bad will come and ruin it.
Don't get me wrong.... I'm not saying my life is perfect. In fact, it's on the other end of the universe from perfection. It is so imperfect with the numerous "holes" in it that I know "some people" are really worried about me. My dear grandma and my wacky parents, for example.

However, I really truly believe that God has bestowed upon me a life so good that sometimes I can't help but feel guilty that I'm enjoying it so much. I feel guilty sometimes that I still have so many things I ask for in my prayers.
I keep telling myself that I need to "return" at least part of the blessings that I have received, to do my bit for the society I suppose. But the sad truth is I haven't done anything remotely close to adequate in this area. I haven't done anything. Period.

Every now and then I'm reminded of a plan I once had to get myself involved in a charity work.
"Soon", I keep telling myself , "Once I have at least settled down a bit. Once I have at least figured out where to stay."
I just hope I get to keep my promise before it's too late.

I am a strong believer of karma.
I might not be a devout buddhist who knows the sutras by heart, but I believe in the basic principles.
However, I do wonder if any good deeds done out of guilt, out of fear for losing the good life that one has -- in other words out of selfishness, still has its merits.
I doubt it.
But then again, I'm thinking: Heck, I'm human afterall!
Show me one man (or make that woman) with no fear and no trace of selfishness.
(OK, I'll let you have the late Mother Teresa. Anyone else?)
So I figure,something... anything is better than nothing, regardless of the motive.

Now...., if I can just figure out a way to get things moving.
Or actually, I suppose I should figure out where to stay put first.

Decomposing away...

I can't remember the last time I felt this way.
It sure sucks as hell.
Waiting sucks.
I wish some people would make up their mind what they want to do, whether or not they want me on their team.

sushi fund

You know you're getting old, when you're seeing:
SUSHI FUND SCANDAL

instead of
SLUSH FUND SCANDAL

when going through the newspaper headline about the trial involving Hyundai Motor Chairman.

Well, it's either I'm getting old or I'm really hungry....

Home.... the new Atlantis

Just some pics I got from BBC and CNN:

Week at a glance

It has been a rather interesting week.
When last week began with a high "high" on Monday, I wondered if my plan was going to work out after all.
Then Friday afternoon came, and instead of that one phone call I was waiting for, I was hit with a surprise "road block" a la Amazing Race instead.
Though I was a bit upset, I refused to let the thing ruin the weekend that I had planned. So the show had to go on.
Went to Cafe del Mar with some of my classmates and I found myself really enjoying the place. The weather of course helped a lot, with the clear sky, full moon and plenty of cooling breeze. Afterwards, some of us went on for a second round at St. James by this end of the bridge.
It's quite a fun place and I also quite enjoyed the place as I didn't feel as out of place as in the case last time when I tried Ministry of Sound.

And so the new week came in at an all-time low, with the realisation that my plan might not work out after all.
Having to get up really early to avoid the long and winding line only to deal with grumpy immigration officers is just not my idea of fun.
On the bright side, however, I managed to scour my stack of junk to find that one letter that showed the silly changes done by this supposedly well-established local educational institution.

I was browsing through some books on Chinese astrology at the book store.
I guess you can say I'm a skeptic believer.... I listen or I read, I believe for like 5 minutes and I forget for the rest of the year, until it's time again for these publishers to come up with new ones for the following year.
I dunno... I just think it's kinda' fun to pretend for at least a second that you know what's gonna happen to the world, or at the very least, your life.

So, if you have the option for a relatively safe yet rather boring year or an exciting yet uncertain year when you have to constantly jump hoops and all (of course with at least a 50:50 chance of either making it big or falling really hard), which do you prefer?
I suppose the answer of course depends on which stage of your life you're currently at. At this point of my life however, I think I'd take any hoops rather than a quiet, boring year.
So, bring it on, world! Gimme all you've got!This snake ain't scared of ya!!!
BRING IT ON!!!

P.s. I'm not sure how to react when someone strongly insists that you have coloured your hair, when you really haven't. Should I be sad coz that means my hair looks fake, or worse, unhealthy? Or should I be happy coz I saved myself the trouble and cost of a professional hair color session? By the way, it just got me wondering what's the point of listing info on eye and hair color on our passports, which I remember seeing on my older ones. Curious what they listed on mine, I flipped through my fairly new passport while waiting at the Immigration office this morning and only then did I find out that they had taken out the information on hair and eye colour(at least the ones issued by our beloved country that's turning into Atlantis).I suppose it makes perfect sense, with all the colored contacts and DIY hair color products in the market.

I guess I'd better stop rambling nonsense here. Must go and pick up the car from the service centre, where I dropped it off this afternoon for a regular "check-up" and pampering "car spa" service. Hope it won't cost me an arm and a leg.

Time: January 29th 2007 , 4.50 pm
Place: A living room in one corner of this blip on the blue planet.

IT'S THE PHONE CALL I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR FOR THE PAST 2 MONTHS!

Let's see how it goes on Friday then.... I'm keeping my fingers (and toes) crossed (real hard).
I can't believe I actually heard back from them, but who knows.... ^_^

Btw, thanks to my trainer's idea, I have managed to succesfully gained some beautiful bruises on my elbow. By now I really can't help but suspect that he is actually enjoying watching me hurt myself, even just for a bit.

Get(ting) real, .... or at least trying to

As if it's not bad enough that one's heart is beyond the jurisdiction of one's brain, I can't even get my brain to control my mind. So now my heart and my mind are in cahoots and my brain is left with no allies. No wonder one of my best gal pals always tells me that I live to torture myself.

Assuming that what I have been hearing a lot lately is true, that my idealistic approach will never get me anywhere in life (i.e. "GET REAL!"), I thought the time had come for me to really sort out the load of junk in my life: Time to sort out my fantasies, dreams, ambitions, and reality. However, I'm finding it extremely hard to do, though..... exactly for the above reason.
One is a 22-year old dream (although it was stuffed away in closet for the past 6 years) and the other is an ongoing wish cum 10-yr old fantasy (also stuffed away in the darkest corner of the closet for the past few years).

Realistically, I should really throw everything out the door. But when you have lived with these dreams and fantasies for so long, they kinda' form part of your identity (albeit a confused one, in my case). I suppose getting rid of it might be like Cindy Crawford finding out that her mole needs to be removed for health reasons, or Hugh Grant losing his tousled hair overnight, Julia Roberts or Angelina Jolie getting a procedure to reduce the size of her lips. I mean, remember Enrique Iglesias? I bet you do.... at least the original version with the mole. Boy I bet he misses the mole now.

*Sigh*
Well, anyway it's not like I don't want to do what's necessary. It's just so darn hard!
I'm telling myself I'll just have to take one step at a time..... Lemme see what I can start with....
Oh I know!
*lightbulb moment*

Maybe I'll start by..... ............pampering myself with enough sleep : )

P.s. I haven't got the faintest idea what the heck Rain is saying in his song "I do", but somehow the song can always help brighten up my crappy days.

Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down
Oh I'll never know what makes this man
With all the love that his heart can stand
Dream of ways to throw it all away
Oh Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down
Oh twice as much aint twice as good
And can't sustain like a one half could
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees
Oh gravity, stay the hell away from me
And gravity has taken better men than me you see now how can that be?
Just keep me where the light is
Just keep me where the light is
Keep you all where the light is
Just keep us where the light is
Ohh.. where the light is!

-Gravity (John Mayer)-

Btw, where do you draw the line between simply having a good network and nepotism/cronyism?(hope I got the spelling right)

I'm really loving this couple on the Amazing Race - Asia show: Syeon Park and Andrew Tan.
I know it could very well be just a well-edited show that just happens to work in their advantage, but I really love watching how sweet this couple seem to be.
Andrew seemed to have been portrayed as slightly pushy and bossy in the beginning, but they seem to be showing more of his good sides in the later episodes.
I was quite impressed at how patient yet in control Andrew was in one episode, when Syeon seemed to be getting a bit whiny: " Baby, ... I know you're tired, but can you please do it?". There was no sign of annoyance in his tone at all.
I really hope they win the race.

Anyway I just spent the past 20 minutes watching some videos of my youngest niece.
My goodness.... when I saw her around Chinese new year last year, she was just like a doll. Couldn't do anything at the time except maybe cry and smile a bit occasionally.
And she's a full blown toddler now.

One of those days again when I feel so darn old.

Dang! How did I get here?

Breakfast: Muesli & oat milk
At the gym: 30 mins on treadmill, 1 hr of kick-fit.

My sweet sis-in-law sms-ed me and tried to call me several times while I was at the gym. Got an sms from my buddy, Mr Bunny, on my way to the gym.Dad also sent me an sms. Initially thought Mom had forgotten (as usual), but she called me later, put everyone at the office on speaker phone and they sang me the birthday song, which was kinda' sweet in a cheesy way. Also heard from some good friends from all over the place: DC, Oakbrook and home.

Lunch: SUSHI!!!! Don't care even if it's only supermarket sushi. I LOVE IT! And I think I'm fully entitled to a decent b'day meal :P

Afternoon: Found a long lost classmate from secondary school. I'm quite impressed that he still remembers my full name, although it is quite embarassing that the one thing he remembers the most about me was how we used to argue with each other.

Dinner: The most sinful dinner I have had for quite a while now, but I just didn't have the heart to say no to this dear aunt of mine who went through all the trouble. Plus the fact that it's also her husband's b'day..... (So, happy b'day, Uncle Charlie!)

So there you go..... 365 days and counting down to the end of my 20s (as one of my seniors from undergrad reminded me just now). I guess I should say it to myself now and try to accept the reality that the dreadful day is finally here:















(grabbed this from some website coz I love it! Hope I won't get into trouble....)

Waiting for a change

Had an IM session with Miss M just now.
She pointed out an interesting thing:
Although all of us (i.e. the Dearborn plus club) split up and went on our own paths, somehow we ended up at the same spot:
Waiting for a change.

what goes around, comes around....

OK...
I guess it's payback time.
The series of roundhouse kicks I had to do today have landed me with a seriously bruised-up shin, even after my trainer took off his shin pad.
My goodness.... not sure how I am supposed to do it all over again on Wednesday.

what's on TV

I stumbled upon this while browsing another blog.
What the hell is going on with Paula Abdul?
I mean I am aware that she's been getting weirder and weirder for a while now, but what's going on this time?
Is she starting her own reality show any second now? A somewhat Anna Nicole-wannabe perhaps?

Oh, and I noticed how girls got all fired up and went all ga-ga over Wentworth Miller (I only saw some pictures of him but never caught the show he's in). Then everyone suffered a blow after the news that he's gay.
I mean.... come on? Don't tell me that anyone would be surprised about such a thing?
I'm not a fan but, but shouldn't it have been quite obvious?
To be honest, I think I would be more surprised (read: impressed) if such a good-looking guy turns out to be straight all along....

Unbelievable...
One more thing to add to the list of silly things I've done:
Drove from where I live here on the west side of the island, all the way to the airport on the east end of the island.
Purpose? None.

mayday... mayday...

My brain is turning into mush!
I'm trying to salvage any remaining part that is still usable.
Please keep your fingers crossed for me....

Kicking balls

Today was the first time ever I've kicked a guy in the balls. Literally. :P
And the victim was..... my poor trainer.

lol
Serves him right though, for insisting on having me do the push-kick, even after I told him I can't reach the height that he wanted me to do.

It was kinda' awkward for a split second after it happened but I couldn't help but burst out laughing afterwards.
Especially after I did it... the second time.
lol
He then jokingly warned me that he still wants to celebrate Father's day in the future.

SO funny. ... I mean I do feel sorry coz I really didn't mean to (of course), and he's a really, really NICE guy. Wasn't mad at me or anything at all when it happened. I hope he will get to celebrate Father's days with at least a dozen of kids in the future.

I must say though.... it feels so damn good to get to kick somebody :P

Oh and today, I had my very first Subway after 1.5 years.
I know... I'm supposed to be watching what I eat, but I was really hungry. And I just happened to walk pass by Subway. And I remembered Jared, the subway guy (wonder if I got the spelling right).
Then the devil inside me thought: Shouldn't be that bad right? I mean... Jared still managed to lose weight, didn't he?
Besides, it was like 2.5 hrs past lunchtime and I was really starving.
So there I was, munching on my toasted chicken teriyaki on honey oat with teary eyes.
I was quite impressed how it tastes exactly the same as the ones I used to have in Chicago. Except somehow the chicken is so much softer (almost mashed up compared to the ones I used to have). One thing though, was totally, completely consistent: The crappy service.

My plateau

I'm hitting a plateau, and my trainer wants me to run for an hour every day....
It's not like I don't want to do it, but I can't even do 2 minutes without stopping to catch my breath.
Sometimes I wonder what the heck is wrong with my lungs that I have such a terribly short breathing. I mean, even people with worse weight problem than me seems to be handling it much better than I do.
Don't tell me that those crappy cigarettes that I once upon a time enjoyed (for a really short period of time) did this to me?

Anyway, I'm starting a 4-times a week training program. I just got home around 8.30 pm and I have to be back there tomorrow by 9 am. My trainer also told me he would arrange for a free membership upgrade that would allow me to go every day, instead of 4 days/week, which I have been using as an excuse not to work out every day.
(I wonder if that means I really, really have to do it now ^_^)

Anyway, my trainer told me that his other client, a rather well-known local designer, has managed to lose more weight than I have, eventhough he started later than me.

So, I'm trying to hypnotize the lazy little biatch in me into thinking: MUST NOT LOSE TO THIS GUY!

So, I'm setting my own target now:
5 kg loss by the end of the month.

Seriously doubt I can make it happen, but why settle for low target that won't get me anywhere right? Might as well try to go for the big bang. Now,... if I can just somehow make myself more disciplined in watching what I eat .

F.O.O.L

Tragedy plus time equals comedy.

My roommate was the first one who told me this, and I fell in love with this aphorism right away.

Ever since that day, whenever I'm feeling down (like today), I try to tell myself that I will get over it before I even know it. I try to remind myself to look forward to that one day when I'll look back and have a good laugh about all of this.

I must say though... that it's getting harder and harder to convince myself nowadays.

Sometimes I'm just amazed at what a big fool I am...
I mean, what else can you say to describe a person who continuously inflicts pain on him or herself?
F.O.O.L.... that's it.

Well, either that or a masochist, I suppose..... ^_^

Just wondering...

You walk pass by a place that looks and feels like your dream home from the outside, but then you find out that it is totally beyond your means.

Do you:
a. Knock on the door and try to get a look at the place? Maybe see if you can somehow strike a bargain?
b. Just marvel at the place from the outside for a while before heaving a sigh and reluctantly walking away, occasionally turning around to steal another look at the place.
c. Fuhgedaboutit.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Or, as my roommate reminded me:
d. Start laying out a plan to build your own dream home.

Another encounter with men in uniforms

Time: 3.30 am
Location: A blip on the blue island

I could've sworn I heard the door bell, but then again I might be dreaming.
There it goes again. You've got tons of imagination, I told myself.
Third time. Is it for real? Must be... You're not that creative, I told myself.
Fourth time. Is it Dad? No, he's not coming till this afternoon. Can't be....
Then who the heck is this nut case?

In seriously bed-tousled hair and half-opened eyes,upsetly walked to the door and took a peek.
Only saw 2 guys' faces.

Opened door: Yes?

Only then did I notice the uniforms. One of them mumbled a name, which I really couldn't hear, to which I replied that I thought they must've gotten the wrong address.
He took a look at his note and read out a license plate number.

SHIT, I thought.

"The car alarm has been going on and off for the past 4 hours, Mam. "

I apologized right away and scurried away for the keys. In the elevator, they told me that the car's ok and it was locked. Only the interior light was on.

Phewh.... what a relief....

Phai seh lah.... I really didn't realize it. Gosh, now I'm worried about the car battery. I guess it's a good thing I cancelled off my apppointment for tomorrow morning.

Then on my nerve-wrecking walk back home (coz I was afraid I might get rotten eggs or tomatoes dropped on me from some of the flats), after giving the men my cell phone number in case something goes wrong again, I was thinking: The poor people who couldn't sleep because of the alarm.... I really feel bad for them but I dunno whom to apologize to.
So phai seh lah...

Then in the elevator ride back up, it hit me: How come it took 4 hours before I get the notice?
Did people actually put up with such a crazy thing for that long? Or did the officers really need that much time to respond?
I'm sorry but I guess after my first encounter with their colleagues, I really didn't appreciate the squad that much.
I hope it was for the first reason.

Either way, from the bottom of my heart, I would like to apologize to people in this tiny island who couldn't sleep on the second evening of the new year due to my absent-mindedness.
I promise, I'l try really really really hard to not let such a thing happen again.
May your patience be awarded with loads and loads of good things to come in this new year.

Cheers!

Back to sleep....

P.s. I wish I could come up with my case studies as fast as I could come up with a post for this blog of mine.

New year's resolution

Finding out that you were wrong about something can sometimes be such a good feeling.

Anyway, is there really a need for new year's resolutions?
I didn't have much time to come up with a list for the year, so I've decided that I will only have one set of resolution that I will be using each year from now on, which is:

I will start.

Old & New

This was an impressively quiet New Year's Eve.
For 4 consecutive years before last year, New Year's Eve was a pretty much standard operation for FUN. Last year was spent back home with my family. Although with two toddlers, my sis-in-law and my brother was in no mood to stay up late, at least I was home.
Most importantly, it was not quite.... at all. With the amount of illegal fire crackers that were unleashed around the block, I was even starting to get nervous, thinking that I had somehow got myself stranded in some war zone.

This year, however.... was totally the opposite.
Silent Night couldn't have been more appropriate as a theme song for the night.
Just me, my notebook, the stack of material for my assignment, my hand phone(which had turned into some sort of gallery for Hallmark-card kind of wishes), and .... the quiet reservoir.
There was almost no wind, so the water was almost perfectly still.

Somebody made me really miserable, and bugged as hell for a while coz I didn't expect to get that miserable.

My sis-in-law called to wish me happy new year since I'm one hour ahead of her.

Then the new year came.

Suzie was the first one to sms me right after midnite.
Mom followed with confirmation of the annual illegal firecracker competition around the block at home.

Wished for a second that I had some champagne or even just plain nice girly beer to celebrate the new year. Just me, myself and I.

Anyway, life goes on...
New year. New calendar on the wall.New (older) age to put in forms (well, technically still got some time before that happens).
Same old life. Same old me. Same old world.