There's a saying in Indonesian:
Semut di seberang lautan tampak, gajah di pelupuk mata tiada tampak.
It basically refers to how one can clearly see "an ant" across the ocean, while being oblivious to "the elephant" right under one's nose.
Interesting how fast people can judge a situation, "pinpoint" exactly the problem, and identify the culprit responsible for the situation, literally from thousands of miles away.
It didn't help that I pointed out that he had never been in my situation.
It didn't help that all the while I was thinking: "You are not even here. What do you know?"
It didn't help that at the back of my mind I kept thinking: "Speak for yourself.... Do you know how many complains I have received about you?"
It certainly didn't help also that I lost my cool and raised my voice when I felt I was being attacked, for a decision I made thinking that was the best for everyone.
It certainly sucks being the youngest in the family.
Anyway,
I really had no intention and I still fail to see how such a tiny decision of mine, driven by nothing but good intentions, can hurt anyone or at the very least negatively affect anyone in any way.
I really don't see why it has to be blown out ouf proportion like this. I came up with that idea with nothing but good intentions in mind.
It's interesting how some outsiders feel that I pay too much attention to my family's needs and wants, that I am not living my own life so to speak, while some insiders feel that I am a self-centered, spoilt brat, who cares about nothing but myself.
I find it a bit funny actually when I try to zoom out and look at the whole thing.
Anyway, this whole thing just reminds me of something that crossed my mind the other day.
I was watching a tv show and there was this dialog in i about a past mistake: A wrong decision again done with nothing but good intentions in mind, that might have hurt someone.
It reminded me of something I decided to do, and actually did, a few years ago.
Sometimes, just once in a blue moon perhaps, the cheesy bit in me would wonder if I somehow had hurt anyone's feelings. But at the same time, the critical rational bit in me goes: "Neahhhh....You did the best you could, girl!"
And then all's well again in my self-centered land....
I guess ...
There's someone that I really wish I could have a chat with right now, but I suppose there's no point in trying to talk to someone who doesn't really enjoy talking to you.
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